Hammer of Cunts

It's a rehearsal for when the shit really hits the fan, they want to know how people will react to an authoritarian government. The NHS web page that pops up everywhere is noticeably less hysterical about it all.

Twelve months ago I wouldn't have believed that any administration would do anything other than tell her and her little friends to go back to school.

Well, it's sometimes got blue veins.

I imagine there's a few here with a well-developed embouchure.

One positive result of the Chinese Lurgy scare is the absence of Greta Thurnberg from the news.

I didn't know trumpets had bottoms, or is "trumpet" a euphemism?

Local Authorities: Where indolence and incompetence stroll together in the shady groves of job security.

The rhetoric of right and left tend to converge. Like railway lines, the further you look, the closer they become.

I don't think a bunch of deluded pederasts indulging in their ritual cannibalism is representative of the general population.

Fives. I expect you were a day-boy.

Stop and Swab.

It's the same as sticking your finger in a dyke.

It expands and fills cracks.

You played Soccer! Fuck, where did you go? St Custard's?

Jesus Christ! That's fucking grotesque.

Move. Give it a month and there'll be a good choice of vacant property.

I think it's reassuring that we live in a country where everything else is so perfect that all we have to worry about is this kind of shit. Our grandchildren's generation will remember these complainants with the same respect and gratitude that we reserve or those who have genuinely risked all for our future. Statues will be erected around the country to the Unknown Worrier and The first symbolic snowflakes of spring will be treated with veneration and vegan beers all round.

It's no coincidence that the excessively touchy-feely Italians are the most seriously affected. With luck, millenialists will catch on to the fact that gratuitous hugging and air-kissing is a vile, unhygienic continental practice (but only after the whiny snowflakes have caught it).

Are they from the Council?

I'm waiting for the Jewish Clangers; with a Chicken-Soup Dragon.

I said "should be" not "will be". No bloke accused of even mildly disrespecting a woman can be allowed a fair hearing (v. Woody Allen).

Obviously not, but if they are proven to be liars then they should be named, face criminal charges for wasting police time and a civil case for defamation.

Mohammed won't be a politician, he'll be a "community leader". This allows him to pontificate, in an impenetrable accent, on subjects he doesn't understand and avoid all responsibility and/or work. So no great difference really.

I hope they'll be issued with the correct PPE for today's urban parkland environment. Maybe they could run a recycled needle bank.

These superior invasive wombles will eventually drive out British wombles, which will survive only in isolated colonies. Have we learnt nothing from squirrels?