scotty

Matthew broderick in The Producers. Fucking hell, this could go on for some time. Sorry lads, mr swarm has rather struck a nerve here.

The only thing that piece of utter shite proved dapps is that the cruise midget can frown. Oh boy, can he frown. If frowning was an olympic sport he'd be holding the gold medal. He'd also be on the "irritating cunt" leader board.

Steve Martin in Bilko. Ditto.

Tom Cruise. War of the worlds. What an absolute fucking cunt.

I feel a nomination brewing.

I somehow picture punkers walking into the Dorchester and switching on his illuminated rotating bow tie before tripping over his clown shoes.

Very true scrotes, ape's a good bloke. What the fuck he's doing in this particular cesspool I have no idea.

You've done 2846.

An admirable 1000th post, noccs. Can't argue with a word of it.

...and a lot like most of frank brunos fights.

...and be sure to wear some flowers in your hair....

It was a mid sized fiat, manky. But tbh, the car was irrelevant, whatever you're driving there the normal traffic rules just don't apply. I made the schoolboy error of stopping at a red traffic light, and nearly got killed for it. After an hour of trying to work my way through the traffic, I finally gave up and decided to pull over by a bar for a quick heart starter. Apparently I left a few centimetres in front of where I'd parked, which is presumably why the cunt behind me rammed the rear bumper and physically shoved the car forward until it was up against the car ahead. When I'd had my beer I had to reverse against his car and shove it back just to get out, fucking unbelievable. I thought the Madrid ring road was bad, but central Naples made that look like a fucking doddle.

Sicily is a good natured stroll in the park compared to a drive through the centre of Naples. My wifes family come from that area, I made the mistake once of hiring a car from the airport, I reckon that took a few years off my three score and ten.

Ah, the fiat seicento. I hired one of those on a cheap holiday in capri, drove the fucker around some horribly dangerous roads for a week, and got home only to read a newspaper article listing the top ten cars you are most likely to get killed in. Top of the list....

Nice legs, but I'm afraid that won't cut it without the feet. Mammothcock would have been appalled. That said, I do seem to recall a comment from roops on the old site about her having footsies like a trucker due to her cross country running, so I guess I can't blame her for chopping them off the picture.

Gyppo came into my pub and asked for a double entendre, so I gave her one.

They're shit punkers, but at least you're safe from lenny henry.

Christ, she is awful. Truly awful. I don't know why she's suddenly the new bbc darling, I mean she's just a small unfunny ugly lesbian... oh, hang on...

One word, baws. Calman.

I do realise that when crunch time comes we'll probably stay in. Every major party will be mainly campaigning for that, it'll be jockland mk 2, but I'm hoping this pathetic "deal" might sway it a bit the other way. More in hope than expectation though.

They've just strengthened the argument for leaving beyond my wildest dreams, and made a yes vote so much more likely. I notice that cameron has already engaged in damage limitation by getting that cunt gove to campaign against leaving, that might tip the scales.

Look on the bright side, at least it got her off the Newsquiz.

Oh christ, jeff mitchell the tailpipe man. I'd forgotten him, that was funny as hell. Probably wasn't actually him though, but there was some disagreement about that. He also liked to fuck hoovers iirc.

The obvious person to ask about the benefits or otherwise of reversing his car is manky. He's the expert, so why hasn't he posted yet?

Every July on our anniversary, me and the wife like to relive the magic of our wedding night. So she has a headache while I get drunk and piss the bed.