Cuntybaws

Chikwature must be Nigerian for "Ham Planet".

He lives on Eel Pie Island. I feel sick just thinking about it.

I'm sure I've said this before, but what sort of fucking cunt in their right mind would contemplate for a billisecond buying a perfume called "Lovely" from Sarah Jessica Parker? My Lovely Horse, maybe.

Trevor Baylis invented a clockwork orange. Or was it a radio? I wish the cunt would make his mind up.

You're thinking of "Trans-Species", an easy mistake to make. Doctor Moreau was a cunt.

Anywhere that ends in "Stan" is a cunt. A trick was missed when they didn't site Israel in the centre of Pakistan, landlocked and earthquake-ravaged. There'd be room for Northern Ireland alongside too.

Remember good old Chemical Ali? At least you knew who was who in those days.

Imagine her going hard at it with a double-ended dildo with Susan Tully dressed in her Grange Hill school uniform. There isn't enough Viagra in the world to keep that mind picture alive.

It's not really a job normal people would do, but I suppose there are only so many scout master positions available.

A nice variation on the old "Stitch that!" theme.

The Supreme Court today rejected this unctuous pinched-face cockwomble’s case. With any luck the £60 fine the tight fisted arse tumour tried to evade will now end up costing him £60 grand instead. I hope his precious little moppet enjoyed that trip to Disneyland, because it’ll be fucking Butlins from now on. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-39504338

This ubiquitous poofery is good news for Ding, as there is all the more hot totty left for him. Seriously though (well, semi-seriously) this is what happens when evolutionary pressures are mitigated artificially and survival of the fittest is supplanted by survival of the fattest. You don't see many fat fucking poofs.around the dried-up waterholes of South Sudan.

I'm worried about this.

I wouldn't fuck her.

Very little escapes me, Eric old chum. Why, I've even seen YOU demonstrate contextual subtlety on occasion.

Honey Boo Boo is a cunt.

It's as if Flinty, er I mean Cobra, has had a debilitating stroke and given up drinking on a school night.

That's cheered me up immensely. There's nothing better for Sunday schadenfreude than the thought of a bunch of sour-faced, piss-smelling old cunts starving to death.

Flapping or fapping?

Coca-Cola was never the same after they stopped putting cocaine in it.

There were no gay companions in those days. Minty would never have stood for it.

Unrealistic? Wash your mouth out with spunk!

I like this - delicate, but brutal. Maybe use one of those really fine atomisers? Aqua Regia; because you're worth it.

Ah, but what a way to go.