Cuntybaws

Fuck me, do some of you chaps hail from the flat county? I don't think you've ever mentioned that before.

"I don't condone terrorism. but..." - what the fuck? I suppose we got what we deserved on 7/7 too? At least you had the good grace to wait until after 9/11 before punting out this little platitude.

I'm out of work and on the dole, so stick your Red Flag up your hole.

He just lost my vote again.

He just got my vote!

There would be copious checks and balances, although I note that the lazy self-serving cunts on the GMC advise their members never to participate. The Nurses union is neutral on the subject - draw your own conclusions. One concern is that no matter how well-controlled the process is some old dears might feel obliged to shuffle off early because they didn't want to be a burden. I don't actually see that as a problem - the selfish, asset-hogging, coffin-dodging senile old cunts can't fucking die fast enough as far as I'm concerned. (Did I mention that Mrs Baws' mother was visiting this weekend?)

These cunts actually - and get this - groomed pregnant women in anticipation of getting first dibs on their babies. I mean fuck me, I like them tight as much as the next man, but if we can't string cunts like that up we have no right to call ourselves civilised.

And don't get me started on those OAP Syrian cunts that make their children carry them thousands of miles across deserts and continents just so they can get a pensioner meal deal in 'Spoons.

People used to remark admiringly that my old gran still had a nice pair of threepenny bits.

You heartless cunt, Gobbler, these old cunts need to save every penny to put towards a soon-to-be-needed plywood coffin. Winter is coming!

Hurry Up Harry, Come On (my face)

Does she favour the flatter shoe?

It?

I nominated the Bay City Rollers once. Easy target, the tartan fucking cunts.

It is a bit of a mystery, I'll grant you. I'm no R D Laing so just thinking out loud here, but perhaps at a subconscious level spiders remind you of a vagina?

But still better than Gordon fucking cunthole wanker bastard cunting fuckpig Strachan.

Today's top tip - leave your car unattended anywhere in Liverpool for 5 minutes and you won't have to worry about spiders in your wing mirrors any more. As a bonus, this will also resolve any "spiders in your alloys" or "spiders in your car stereo" problems into the bargain.

Everything's bum sex with you, I don't know why...

I don't love you like I loved you yesterday.

Elmo's "handler", Kevin Clash, aka Mr Tickler.

Two "British" fighters have been killed by a drone strike in Syria. I don't remember the House of Commons voting for that but fuck it, I'll let them off this time. And what a brilliant fucking name - Reaper Drone. This is now my favourite thing.

Doug Richard; Cliff Richard. Coincidence or what?

Shakespeare, eat your fucking heart out! This is what "Othello" was lacking.