Decimus

I guess we imagined your Scope fiasco. Bubbles had you in a right tizz, and it was easier than shitting out a Vindaloo. As for Scope, I personally think that they should have stuck to "The Spastics Society". What do you think about that, you palsy loving cunt?

Thanks Luke, you're the true power behind the throne. I'll keep a window open for some Stubby playtime, I'm estimating I'll only need 45 seconds to make him shit his adult nappy.

Morning, Stubby. I haven't got you scheduled in for a thrashing until mid-afternoon, so if you wouldn't mind chucking a bucket of ice water over your excited maggot and calming the fuck down until then it would be much appreciated. Ta.

What are your thoughts on Tarantino potentially reimagining Picard?

I can picture you now, Dan. Twelve chins quivering with rage as you park your fat fucking Scottish arse in a tiny, blue plastic chair at a Lineker's bar in Benidorm. Flinging your faeces around the room whilst incoherently screaming "egg and chips!" as the Dago waiter informs you that the special of the day is calamari.

It's not often I get the chance to witness two northern monkeys attempting to communicate. From an anthropological point of view, it's akin to witnessing the first time that early man lit a fire. Fascinating.

Bill's going to make you fucking regret the day that you made the decision to sign up here.

Ding, is it true that you're currently banged up for horrendous noncing offences?

"Her" cock and balls.

Spoken like the sort of cunt who thinks that Fosters is the lager of choice. Firstly, it's whisky if you're talking about the decent jock shit, which I assume you are as you have stated the Irish stuff is "for beginners". Secondly, Jack Daniels is a bourbon, not a whisky, so it's ridiculous to compare it to one. Thirdly, Laphroaig is ten times better than the shit you have thus far recommended. Fourthly, do your research before making a nomination, it will save you the arduous task of spouting out a load of fucking bollocks Fifthly, fuck off.

A dangerous and idiotic move. I was no Obama fan, but at least he didn't endorse the partisan American politics of supporting Israel regardless of whatever ethic cleansing they were up to during a particular week.

BLM came about as a reaction to the disproportionate amount of young black men shot and killed by the police. There isn't a corresponding White Lives Matter movement because there is absolutely no need for one. White men and women occupy a privileged place in society and statistics on wealth, education, incarceration levels and police related fatalities confirm this. I don't have a problem with a select group of people highlighting the numerous injustices black people face, especially in America. Just because a couple of black people try to tarnish the movement by coming out with stupid racist bollocks doesn't make BLM any less valid. What exactly is your problem with the movement, beyond a couple of renegade idiots? Pardon the pun, but you can't tar the whole BLM phenomena with the same brush.

He's almost perfect, but as any half-baked eugenicist will tell you, he can't swim.

He wouldn't get away with blacking up these days, that's why you never see him in a premier inn advert anymore.

Out of likes as unfortunately I gave Stubby nine irons yesterday due to him spouting even more bollocks than usual. Whilst I've got your attention, what are your thoughts on white people who have the fucking audacity to enjoy the comedy ramblings of Lenny Henry? Do you advocate a Snatchesque style Final Solution?

Frank?

Not if the "punters" over at FF were female in the sense that Camberwell Gypsy is.

It reminds me of that day when Stupid Pecker accused me of posting continuously since the morning, and how he had "a life" outside of the site. Which was all very good until it was pointed out he'd made seventeen posts to my four since that morning. I find that the one's who scream on about how fantastic their lives are, are usually the most prolific posters. Which says it all really. Stubby, fuck off.

Funny you should say this. There are a few other members including myself who don't believe this particular person is a woman. I'm not sure what it is, but there's definitely something that gives it away as being a bloke. You'd think that all the self-declared studs who endlessly swap smutty innuendos with it would be aware, given their apparent legendary status with the opposite sex.

This is hardly groundbreaking news, you stupid cunt. I'll let Eric off as he hasn't been here as long as you, but if you're only just finding out about this you're even more thick than I gave you credit for. What's next on your list of big reveals? Quincy is an estate agent? Roops isn't into vaginal grooming? You utter fucking tosser.

Oh that's alright then. As it doesn't offend one thick as pig shit painting-by-numbers cunt from London, we can ignore the fact that it is deemed offensive by the majority of the population and legitimise its use. You really are the thickest cunt to ever haunt these pages.

It's usually when you're making an absolute cunt of yourself, so every time you post.

And as if by magic, a stupid racist cunt appears.

No doubt he'll bang on about "free speech" now. The get out of jail free card for all stupid wankers who find it titillating to say unacceptable words.

Why don't you ask your carer nicely to read you the chapter about 'wogs' in your Ladybird Book of Racism? You could then regale us with yet more tedious bollocks regarding the etymology of racial slurs. Idiot.