Decimus

He freely admits that he doesn't drink or take drugs anymore, and his antics as a slum landlord lost their shine after reading his online reviews more than twice. Aside from his yellow tie, being a coked up charlatan who once read a quarter of 'To The White Sea' was all he had. He might as well shut up shop and get the fuck off of my site.

I'm not sure about this, I'll get back to you. Have you seen that Stubby has taken another kicking today? He's been painfully breaking down and explaining jokes made on here in instances where the punchline isn't immediately clear. What are we going to do with him?

Stubby, you're completely fucking shit in every measurable way.

How's your old man tonight? Can you remember when I called Wiz a dead-dadded cunt?

Genuinely looks like Frank sans wig. Fucking hell.

That's a rather bold statement. I don't know about "will", it remains to be seen how this is going to play out, but it's optimistic to think that the average British worker is guaranteed to be better off. Governments, especially traditional Tory governments, are on the side of big business, not the average employee. None of what you've said will be enforced by legislation, it will be down to market forces. And market forces have a knack of fucking over those at the bottom. You know my opinions on Brexit, but for what it's worth, I hope you're right and I'm wrong.

Morning, Withers. Did you see that Macron is in some former French shithole in Africa this week? Apparently he has declared to the savages there that he's going to make French the first language of the world. I'd be interested to know how he intends to do this, my own personal theory is that you'll all be speaking Arabic by 2050. Lol Fuck off.

I guess that makes you me. The question is, who's the cantankerous nose-bag addict, HIMO dweller of the gang? You also need a name and a scribe.

I assumed that was the dress code at your Remploy factory anyway.

He doesn't look well, Frank, and whilst I'm not saying that I hope he dies over the Christmas period, that is in fact exactly what I'm saying. As a way of making it up to you, I've got a suggestion for his playlist.

Eric, I haven't got a fucking clue what you're talking about. My knowledge of Roadhouse is solely based on Family Guy, and it tickles me now to think of you roundhouse kicking people in the street and shouting "Roadhouse" as you trundle away.

You've got a rare like from me for the Roadhouse quip. Genius.

Fuck off, cunt, or you'll get the pencil up your arse. The irony isn't lost on me that Stubby Pecker has liked this post, despite the fact that he's posting on here all morning and afternoon compared to the odd one or two from myself. Stubby, you fucking mong. Throw stones at your glass house and cut your jugular on the shards.

What are her thoughts on fyffes bananas?

From the looks of things, the old cunt hasn't got long left. My old man and old dear are yet to turn 50. What do you think about that?

Kill this cunt dead.

Sure.

What's your favourite? EastBenders or Home and a gay? Lol.

In all seriousness and despite my recent anti-Australianism, I have to admit to liking Shane Warne. I'm not a cricket fan and have to turn it off within seconds if it's on the telly. However, I could have watched him in action for hours, his bowling almost seemed to defy the laws of physics. He does look like a right faggot these days though.

I think the intention was for you to choke to death. In between dying again and scraping the foetal remains of geese off of your vile cock, have you been up to much?

I'm afraid I'm with Steve Irwin on this one. Certainly not because I have any interest in the inherent fairness in the most boring fucking game ever created. It's another load of tedious old toss that we invented like Rugby, but which every other country thrashes us at. I just think he's got a point when he says you're a tedious, depressive wanker.

Such a fucking shame. This topic had potential, Stubfuckwit. Instead of playing to the cheap seats with yet another easy shot at Catholics, you could have started a genuinely interesting thread about the decimation of Ang San Suu Kyi's international reputation as a semi-deified, right-on symbol of peace and reconciliation. Whether she is directly complicit in the current crisis or not is irrelevant. Her complete inaction is a fucking disgrace and she deserves to have her cunt kicked down her fucking throat.

Never mind this shit. The Chicken has given me fucking lip. What are you going to do about it?

I've got the moves like Stubbers, I've got the moves like Stubbers, I've got the mooooooooooooves like Stubbers.

Dan, you fucking bellend. We haven't exchanged pleasantries in a while. What are your thoughts on Benny and The Jets?