Ape™️

I bet this took you ages, and I bet you were chuckling uncontrollably to yourself as you typed it. It is, I have to admit, reasonably amusing, but this in no way changes the fact that you are a fucking stupid fucking cunt. Oh, and Ape is my first name you cretin.

I'd love to know what possesses people to keep these nasty little cunts in their gardens. I saw one today that I'm fucking sure was leering at me. I'll pay it a visit with my air pistol and wipe the smile of its face. Horrible little fuckers.

And not before time. He was giving me a sour stomach.

You have indeed Punkers, but at least you've recognised it. ThunderCunt and IKTC need to pay heed. My hag is fine - thanks for asking.

Hahahahahahaha. You fucking useless spastic.

Ah, I see you've invoked the \Tesco subroutine to deflect from your massive gayness.

Exactly, when it was all single sex - just the way you like it. lol. Lol

I can't see what difference this would make to you.

I was horrified when Maverick killed Goose by showboating in his F-14, and tried to blame it on jet wash. What a fucking murderous cunt.

Not really much I feel I need to add to this, except that if the shirt happens to be pink, the cunt wearing it is a cock sucking ponce faggot shit stabbing arse bandit.

Your Lego breaking wheel? I bet you've got an Action Man strapped to it now - you're wanking furiously as you watch it revolve, and Action Man suffers a more slower death.

I don't doubt it appears real to you, inside your barely functioning mind. Something is clearly very wrong with you, aside from your clear and present stupidity.

Space before question mark again. They certainly don't teach such dunce-like punctuation at public school. You are the product of Macclesfield comprehensive, and a fucking disgrace.

The only torture chamber you have is the one you made out of Lego, using your Fisher Price claw hammer. Fucking idiot.

Hopefully, even a weapons grade cretin like you can identify a typo, and work out what was intended. Now, fuck off.

Explain the though processes (if any) you use to create a nom like this. It really is a load of contrived fucking bollocks, and you're a fucking idiot.

Indeed - we have much to learn from TC. He's a fucking class act.

Just imagine the magnitude of spacker you'd get if it was possible to combine the stupidity of TC and IKTC.

I rest my case.

You really are a tedious, repetitive fucking idiot, aren't you? A seemingly boundless source of utter fucking drivel.

I hate Cats.

Yes, you've said that already.

Please don't feel flattered; that was never my intention. And yes, I do have a colossal penis. You fucking poof. lol. Lol.

Yes Punky, but you read a crumpled copy from the previous day, retrieved from a bin at Macclesfield station. You fucking tramp. lol. Lol.

I absolutely fucking detest Yazz and that shitting cunt of a song. Jazz is a fartslice.