Frank

Decimus PM’d over so pretty graphic shit, Pen. There’s something wrong with you.

Pen, I’m blocking you. You’re rubbish. Kill yourself.

You’re very hit and miss, Eric. I certainly don’t dislike you. But when you miss, it’s so cringeworthy, I can’t stand it. You really are a creepy fucking cunt.

Idiot.

It’s Max Bygraves, Punk.. ‘You Need Hands’.

Ape what on earth is going on!?

Shut the fuck up, you sad and old deluded cunt.

Overkill.

Jazz’s noxious son was in a wheelchair for over sixteen years. His only impediment these days is a slight lisp, a wet fuck for a father and a weak hand shake.

It’s no secret amongst the membership that I’m at a low ebb. However, apart from the one chinless doorkeeping freak who appears to ‘get’ you, the majority of the board wish you weren’t here. Move on.

What a complete and utter fucking twat you are.

Alf, you sparkless fucking wrinkler. This is a tragedy beyond belief. I’m literally in tears. Know what I mean?

I’m here on the scene, Alf. The fucking thing has gone. Please, don’t start a sentence with ‘So’. Stupid old cunt.

Settle down. Idiot.

There’s a lot of negative vibes around, withers. I’ll always be here for you. See your PM.

He’s not wrong though, is he? idiot.

Not really Alf. Every morning I run from my bijou residence next to St Paul’s Cathedral, across the Millennium Bridge, along the South Bank, over Westminster Bridge and into St James’s Park. I then wend my way through Soho and usually stop for a coffee on Frith Street. I love London.

I’m sorry, eric.. I’ve got nothing. From time to time some cunt has to put you in your place. You’re an idiot.

Shut up you fucking idiot.

It’s no secret that I posted my own faeces through his council pigeon hole back in 2012. After all that’s been said, I regret that.

Although a little coy, I’m impressed with his recent output. Do you think he might know something about Maddie’s disappearance?

I’m completely shot through, withers. My doctor suggested I might be deluded. However, I’ve bought a house in the Corréze with great potential. How are you?