Eric Cuntman

Robin was the dirtiest.

Poof.

Have you seen the 1984 film 'Threads'? A timeline docu-drama, portraying the aftermath of nuclear war on an English city (Sheffield), and charting the period from date of nuclear attack to 13 years later. Horrifyingly well done. The only thing on-screen that's ever put the heebee-geebees up me.

You stupid fucking cunt.

I'm the best racist on here.

Don't knock it. If you're attending a Jewish wedding, a hamfisted nuclear strike could be the very thing to excuse you from doing that 'Godfather dance' with a hankie. you wouldn't be in much danger. Any ballistic guidance would have been conceived of and operated by pyjama wearing goat fuckers who are barely educated enough to help their wives revise for their 11+ exams.

He was asking if we're allowed to eat these men.

That place looks grotty as fuck now. A few fruit machines inside the main entrance and the rest of it sealed up and abandoned.

I bet Punkape has.

The only legible word produced in that typewriter experiment was 'Chumbawumba'. True.

It's halfway between a priory and William the Conquerer's castle.

I'm not in Southend. I went there last year though. I went on the little train to the end of the pier. That's probably why you've got it in your head.

And being only a few miles south of you, I suppose I will be the first wave of Cannon fodder when you and all the other filthy wife beating inbred monkeys invade and impregnate the demure and virtuous women of Essex with your 16 fingered, deviant progeny.

They both have the initials 'DC'... Directionally Confused?

Here he is... 'Nosferatu The Hipster'.

'Just because some moistened bint lobs a scimitar at you, it doesn't make you king of the Britons.'

No. You're Welsh, which is the next best thing.

Harold. I do like you. But I don't think our friendship could survive the revelation that you're a sooty.

Look at George Washington Carver. Spent his entire life trying to find uses for the peanut. Gave away the recipe for peanut butter because he was working on a method of compressing peanuts into phonograph styluses. The white men who started the 'Sun-Pat' company became millionaires... while Dr Carver died penniless and insane, still trying to play a phonograph record with a peanut.

Why do they need a month to explain black history? '50,000 years ago we sat in mud and we fucking stank. Now, we sit in mud and we fucking stink.'

Was Monumental Cunt wearing his denim knee shorts?

'They will take my gun when they pry it from my cold, dead, 7 fingered hand'

Imagine when those cunts arrived back in Yorkshire, the furore of excitement, friends and family clamouring to hear outlandish and fanciful tales of 'hot running water', 'carpets', electricity' and kids running round with shoes on their feet. "eeh, ya should see what them southerners decorate t' walls an' ceilin's wi'.. 'aaar-tecks' they call it. It's the future, I tell thee!"

Possibly the greatest line of cinematic dialogue ever... 'That wee lassie got glassed and nae cunt leaves here 'til we find oot what cunt did it!'

It still angers me that we sent Alsatians and Chimpanzees to die in space when these cunts were available.