Eric Cuntman

Hindus are alright people, they might follow a religion, but it's a fucking harmless one. They generally believe in being decent to everyone in equal measure and leaving others to their own choices. I've known several Hindus over the years and they've all been honest and kind to those around them. In stark contrast to those other hateful, barbaric, murderous fucking animals that our government seems so eager to appease.

Pen cannot be injured by a vehicular collision. All of her bones and joints, major organs etc', have been replaced with titanium alloy and Kevlar. Her projected chances of surviving a 60 mph impact from a Volvo are 103.6%.

My caption was fucking better.

Which honest, decent Brits? The Hindus?

Keep it to yourself. If it comes to light that Decs occasionally wears a nuns habit, he might find himself being raped at hammer-point by a man in white dungarees.

Pamela may have been the pretty one, but I bet Sue Ellen was dirty as fuck.

Fucking hell.

I'm on a fucking iPhone 5 and I can see it. How the fuck are you using the internet with a Nokia 3310?

Cathy Tyson 'Mona Lisa', or Cathy Tyson now?

No. Just deep-frying.

It's like the Nexus, from Star Trek Generations, once you've been there, all you can think of is getting back. Ask @Decimus, or Whoopi Goldberg.

The inner workings of your mind are actually quite disturbing. I imagine that one day, your shocked neighbours will be telling journalists; 'I can't believe it! He was such a nice man!'

It's a rolling 7 day total. If you got 3 likes last Tuesday at 6 o'clock, they will drop off your total at 6 o'clock this evening. It's fucking heartbreaking if you had a belting Friday night and picked up twelve of them within an hour, and having to watch them disappear a week later.

You fucking cunt. I did the John Lobb slippers joke 2 weeks ago, now you've nicked it and got 3 likes. Next time he posts a sartorialist picture, don't caption it.. 'Sonny Crockett, the autumn years' That one's fucking copyrighted.

At least we know that there will be a few male children who won't be getting a dolls house for Christmas, or requesting Tampax from their school nurse. Nazi babies are hardly an ideal societal development, but I'm more comfortable with it than the current policy of indoctrinating kids in 'right on', rainbow faggot ideology. Whatever happened to that Soho nail-bombing cunt. He had the right idea, before this fucking shit got a foothold.

Don't forget, he's only 3 feet tall.

'Young, Gifted and Spack'

Some Welsh cunt who rides bicycles faster than other cunts ride bicycles, and won a yellow jumper. Whoopee shit. Bicycles are for children and poofs. and this will please you.. Cooks last century was up for 'sports moment of the year, but it got beat by a fucking netball game.

Trigger Happy TV was a bit hit and miss, with a lot of repetition. I think the skit that made me laugh the most was him, pulling into a timber yard, driving a builders truck and wearing hi-vis. He gets out and asks the yard man for '5 soggy chimps and a 48 foot bastard'.

No.

Yeah.

It's not just me then. If you hadn't said anything, I'd still be jabbing the screen like a spasticated gibbon looking at a banana in a glass case.

You won't have any tits left soon. You keep deleting their accounts.

I said they were from the same special school. What's with the piercing gaze avatar? A bit of subliminal intimidation, like frank tries to convey with Vangelis and his brooding undercurrent of menace.

That's the fella. I was going to ask him directions, and then saw the expression on his face, I concluded that rational questioning probably wouldn't yield a result.