Wolfie

Thankfully nowadays black women allow white men to share their water fountains.

You're so right. Some women hit the 'hot-zone' around 45-55, an age when Pam Grier was undoubtedly at her most fuckable. Despite it being over a decade ago, Roops, do you recall this particular time in your life fondly?

Blimey. Never have the lyrics 'I want to go to the new Belsen' been more apt for the elected face of McDonald's 2019 marketing campaign.

In Arthur's defence, sitting up high in a National Express coach enables him to see inside the cars.

Yet another engaging literary execution by White 'Mr Interesting' Cunt. Have you considered setting fire to one of Roops' used tampons and inhaling the toxic, synthetic fumes?

While others only need too much spare time and a web platform such as this, eh, Pen?

In spite of Beckham obviously wishing to avoid a driving ban, his clever wife may well have found the loophole, Erin Brockovich style. Think about it. 'Posh' looks as though she takes a dump just once every few weeks – thus freeing up more time for legal study.

Don't say I never do anything for you, Eric (0:18, 0:30)

Cow-on-the-Wold?

Your last piece of genius is almost as brilliant as this: Have you thought about subbing MC's next Homebuyer Report? I'm sure he's got cash to throw at you.

'Here here' is something you might use to calm a baby. 'Hear hear' is a term often used to illustrate agreement, which is what you were looking for. Book author indeed. You fucking thick cunt.

You must have been a rare exception.

Don't attempt to debate with Roops when it comes to the distribution of finance during major wars. She's got an advanced degree in the subject.

You at least deserve credit for gently climbing your way to the top of the Corner's bullshitting tree, MC. Have you thought about going into business with sean5302 and LCS? You could help people realise their dreams by utilising your financial nous to develop land they purchase; Sean's legal expertise could complete the conveyancing process, while LCS would ensure stress-related illnesses resulting from the builds are kept to a minimum. If you ask nicely, I'm sure Pen will hod-carry while Gyps could come out of retirement to dig foundations and lay bricks. White Cunt would undoubtedly make the plastering and paint-drying process more bearable by talking to everyone, and Rick could add the final touch by throwing a wild party to celebrate everybody's good fortune. How does the moniker 'Monumental Bullshitters' grab you?

'The first time' must have been decades ago for you, scotty. Are you jealous because you can't get a proper boner any more?

If you're going to pick a fight don't forget to remove your straitjacket, cunt. Pub car park?

I can't find Eddie's fight yarn, though I recall he 'took out a few' scooter riders in a pub car park to protect a mother and daughter (probably tearful drunken slags staying at the same Premier Inn), 'with a mate', because he was 'with a mate' in a pub car park, 'with a mate'. The authenticity of this legendary scrap was confirmed soon after by Eddie's sausage fingers landing on a punchbag while shouting 'Snatch' in a Mockney voice, ironically similar to MC's Brick Top avatar in Snatch. Eddie, you're a fucking bullshitting pussy.

Wow, that's inauspiciously coincidental – with your mate suffering the fate of an identical car theft so soon after yours. What's more surprising is you actually have any friends.

Retired, yes? Interesting. With the facts above in your post of 13/02/18, two conclusions can be drawn: 1) you've retired altogether since 13 February, and 2) if you were a (post-graduate) medical student at college in the 90s, you would have been about 25 in 1995 – and that's a fairly forgiving assumption. This would make you in your mid- to late-40s now. This is a little early for a practicing GP's retirement, don't you think? I've been in the cunting business a long time and I know a bullshitter when I see one. This place is somewhat addictive, hence I'm sure Roops will keep the Corner informed of whether posts fitting your calculated style and sharp grammar, which consistently display the characteristics of a fairly young man, continue to come in from a locale considerably further south than the UK.

That's all very well, but I'm disappointed a GP regards a tabloid media link the most worthy upload.

Christ 'Eavens. Did your psychologist qualify in Lagos?

Shut up you painfully unfunny reservoir of dog shit.

That's interesting. Anyway, thanks for your heartfelt response. To reiterate, I'm afraid I'm not gay, so good luck elsewhere. Also, you have my respect for confessing your inadequacies; now I understand why you try to fill the void with expensive clothes. I too hope you find a pair of designer shorts which can transform chicken legs into something less embarrassing.

Has anyone ever reviewed your David Bowie biography, 'Eav? Seriously, when I found out you had authored a book encompassing the great man's life (pre-1980s), I was most impressed. How on Earth you've ended up living in a static caravan selling cheap glass ornaments suggests it wasn't a big seller, however. Nevertheless, I can just imagine a review excerpt from a leading music magazine critique, and your response thereafter. Reviewer: 'I was hoping it'd be one of those reads which, as a life-long admirer of Bowie's work, I'd read slowly – savouring each drop like a rare Islay single malt whisky. Sadly, in addition to the author's poor grasp of the English language and sub-editor's suspected drink problem for missing it all, the biography is gossipy and sketchy in the extreme. What's confusing is the constant references to Bowie's alleged Weimaraner called 'Frank' and obsession with LC Tiffany French glass decorations. All in all, Colin's book is poorly fact-checked and generally offers a tabloid-level disaster of work.' Response: 'It's actually, a very interesting, read... YOU... YOU are the one buffoon who reminds ME of a dog's rancid leftover's... tell me more about what, YOU know about my old pal Bowie? THAT you, have the sheer odyssey to slag-off my book... You have your tail-between it's legs and have come-out as a bone-a-fido Homosexual ramsbottom with this, "book review". You're whore mother is a rancid haddock who, works the streets at night... get FUCKED Mr high-and-mighty fartslice.'