Wolfie

This would have made a more worthy topic intro than Pansy's fabricated pile of cat shit. Anyway, on topic. I often think about this, and one can only agree in principle. Technology in recent years demonstrates we no longer require weapons for conventional warfare, and we're already spending far too much for the real threats we face. But obviously there's more to it. Military spending is guided less by threats and more from numerous other sources, chiefly economic priorities and banking influences, which themselves create security risks and wars. Whether you like Trump or not, the UK is privileged is have the US as its closest ally. Importantly, the EU relies on Britain's military power more than any other – in particular its navy, for which modern aircraft carriers are required – to protect Western interests with nuclear capability. For me, this is the point of these new ships. Despite no agreement hitherto being reached, defence is evidently giving the UK a good deal of bargaining power throughout Brexit negotiations. While the 'threat' from Russia and China may not be quite as real as our Western media would like us to believe, I feel safer knowing Uncle Don is doing his job as our club door bouncer, and likewise, we realise the economic importance of providing a nuclear military presence in and around European waters. Of course, anyone who takes taxes from others should be obliged to say why. So, am I happy for some of mine to still be used for military purposes? Absolutely.

Have you ever visited Bradford?

I bet Jess still chooses to stand and piss in the sink when she rolls in at 4am.

You're right, erm, 'WC'. What I think of your posts is, to you, irrelevant – which is why you didn't bother responding to my last comment.

You seem to be rattled on a daily basis, Mr Laidback. I bet you haven't encountered such a constant rattling since your last victim's false teeth clattered together as you delivered a backdoor-ploughing on your single bed.

Your membership is safe. I've had a quick browse of the LACS website and it appears wild boar doesn't come under its dominion.

It does matter. We're waiting for you to substantiate your claim with facts. You dug yourself into a little hole and invited Roops, arrogantly accusing her of using a method of research you clearly didn't – and now you're back-peddling like the vacuous shitzkrieg you've exposed yourself to be. Laffin' at yer, ya dumb little pussy.

A computer aimed squarely at juveniles, and long, skinny fingers on soft hands which have never seen a hard day's labour. These could only belong to MC.

Treading in dog shit of all colours and accidentally touching it and rubbing one's eyes, for example, may cause blindness – and numerous visits to an NHS GP surgery. Have you considered a National Express Coachcard, to help avoid walking and therefore reduce your chances of stepping in canine poo? The only problem this may pose is seeing the distinction between the two organisations. Lol.

Of course, Britain's Royal Navy – still the second most powerful of its type in the world – doesn't compare with Ireland's rich military history. Lol.

I would have normally admired such aggression, but then, for the reason chemical ripostes have become the rather predictable modus operandi of the lesser-skilled commenters, I wasn't expecting much – and you didn't disappoint. 200 'likes' in almost four years. Now that really does speak volumes.

Do your dresses have shoulder pads which turn 180 degrees, to cover your hairy pits?

What are your thoughts, Pen?

Jesus wept. Please say something engaging, funny or offensive. Each time you post I skim-read it – presuming it will be utterly shit – before wasting my time to re-read it to see whether I've missed something subtly intelligent. Not so. While you still have much catching up to do, you'll be poaching Pansy's Most Boring mantle before long.

It must have been easier for you to cope with the smell of shit than it was for your colleagues, having spent years emptying your colostomy pouch as a result of a ringpiece that'd seen more action than Rocky over the years.

This comes as little surprise, considering the size of your brain and the fact you probably shit in people's gardens when you're out rifling through celebrity bins 'researching' your next book.

I cannot fathom this cunt. I hope photographs of him lying in the street, semi-drunk and hungover, with a cock and balls drawn on his face, his shoes nicked, and a johnny hanging out of his arse, become published. The same goes for Piers Morgan.

Like others, I assumed you had been playing the role of someone unemployed. Now, I believe you are completely unemployable, spending your days as a poor and single middle-aged Irishman trolling a British website, probably from a state-funded bedsit, spewing repetitive verbal diarrhoea at those who live in a country you aspire to be part of – and are very clearly infatuated with. From where does your obvious bitterness and jealousy spawn? Did you apply for work in the UK and get turned away? Was the form-filling and bureaucracy a little too stressful? Do you have relatives who were in the IRA? Perhaps you came here and had a bad experience. Whichever way, you seem to have morphed from a rather likeable, superficial and (sometimes) funny chap into a very angry, intense and tiresome wanker with a serious chip on his shoulder. If all you have in your life is time to berate British people, neck protein shakes in the gym at the expense of taxpayers and talk about how good-looking you are, as well as planning your days around sleeping, your misfortune is almost worthy of compassion. Seriously Pansy, if ever you step foot in the UK I'll put you up for a couple of nights. It goes without saying there will be no charge – though my gutters could do with a good clean, my chimney and flue are in need of a solid sweep, and my patio hasn't had anyone buried under it for decades. Even Pen is getting tired of your Brexit-obsessed fuckwittery. Change the record you monotonous, insufferable, boring fucking gobshite.

'Hammas'? Do they occasionally fill in for Hamas to launch terrorist attacks on Israel using a hybrid Middle Eastern chickpea recipe? Time and again you prove more peasant than pheasant.

Gyps?

A huge bottle of carbonated champagne would weigh much more than his effortless posture suggests. Perhaps he's going to fill it up and gas it later.

I hadn't thought for one moment you have a Geordie accent.

Clearly, I haven't been getting to you.