Last Cunt Standing

I can think of no finer tribute to Big Bob, who I imagine is trading stories with Saddam as we speak.

The anger will come later Spotto, for now much of the World has got the popcorn out watching this farce unwind in the Mother of Parliaments. My Somalian cab driver this morning asked me “what the fuck is going on with the Brexit?”, causing me to bite my tongue so hard I drew blood.

And funny. Don’t forget funny. The rest of the world is pissing itself.

Married to an attractive white woman, too. I’m sure you’ll approve.

Another fucking disgrace in progress at Headingley. And add to it the exquisite agony of smug Channel Nine presenters grinning under the banner headline “Pomageddon”. Bastards. I’m going to bed.

I imagine you’re a great advert for abortion you sad little man. You’d probably talk less bollocks with a knitting needle through your scalp even now, to be honest. Shouldn’t you be at Mass? Your knee cushion is waiting for you.

The UK has lost its measles-free status I see, with 231 cases reported in the last year. A triumph for the stupid, as humanity continues to hurtle backwards. Next stop, Rickets and Consumption. Iron lungs all round!

Remember those T shirts they had printed up? Unfortunately, given the high number of tubby bastards in that dreadful West Yorkshire slum, most of the T shirts were stretched so tight poor Shannon’s face was reminiscent of Rocky Dennis from Mask.

These dubious little cunts are taking us all for fools. Whether it’s a Boeing 777 which miraculously falls off radar in the general direction of Africa, a prank assassination of a prominent North Korean, or a little Irish girl with Patau Syndrome who finds her inner Bear Grylls, there’s more fiction coming out of Kaula Lumpur these days than Jackanory. How do you not find a naked white teenager in a jungle flooded with 3000 troops? How does not eating for four days result in a perforated colon? How does a developmentally disabled girl open her own window and slip out in the night unheard? Why was she naked? I know this much, if it turns out that the parents were nearby eating tapas with friends, there’ll be holy hell to pay.

Oh I dunno, I believe there’s a certain high profile live case in Berkshire which will be investigated in an exemplary fashion, even if it means knocking on every caravan and nicking every illiterate drive tarmac layer in a 200 mile radius.

I thought you were a Nurse Spotto? Did you wear the Kepi when doing your drug round?

Fair play, good response. Wasted on here. Quite happy to condemn the circus of perpetual outrage which constrains free speech and makes idiots of us all. Using the same freedom of speech you defend, I disagree with your praise of the good Professor, though. Peterson is a troll, and a pretty transparent one at that. Oh, and can I add I do enjoy an Ulsterman signing off with “Not ever!”, makes me all nostalgic.

I think he’s more like Bert from Bert and Ernie, but you’re close enough.

Jordan Peterson is now widely acknowledged to be the stupid man’s idea of an intellectual. Countless academics have Swiss-cheesed his work and he is left whoring his pisspoor panto Dame act to any right wing outlet that will have him. That he came to prominence in the UK beating up the cognitive titan Cathy Newman on C4 News rather gives him away as a flat-track bully who in all likelihood spent his childhood pulling the legs off spiders.

No point to make, Your Moderateness. I’m quite content to let the facts play out for themselves, as we finally get to see what was hiding behind Bully all those years ago.

My NHS pension is paid in pounds, Judy, so I am still interested. Distantly.

Glad to be of service Judith. An extra 50p on your Chicken Shish imminently I think.

The UK economy contracted by 0.2% in Q2, edging UK plc towards recession. Cue the usual bollocks about economic cycles and challenging times yadda yadda. No doubt the Roopster will provide a detailed analysis of why it’s all going swimmingly in real terms or some such nonsense. Hands up if you’re tired of winning yet.

Most people are sheep. Easily led and often picked off by wolves. Content to chew, stare, and shit their way through most days. And they’re about to be fleeced by the Landowners.

£71,000,000,000 and counting. That’s the cost of this fucking circus so far Judy. Your money, down the gurgler. The elite plan to enfeeble the British working class is by now well underway, yet the braying masses call for more and harder whipping from the blond bombshell. I worry for you. Abdul won’t keep the supply of chicken donner coming when your greasy fiver hits parity with the Zimbabwean dollar and you’ll be forced to contemplate, if only briefly, whether there’s a gap in the market for mobility scooter themed pornography. Back in June 2016, is this how you thought it would go? From this distance, it looks a complete fucking mess.

Thought so. I don’t like the cunt either. This common ground stuff is easier than I thought....

Judge, I’m by now quite familiar with your views on Mayor of London Mr Khan, may I enquire as to your views on the new Chancellor of The Exchequer, currently squinting through Boris’ first time at the Despatch Box?

Not possible in this universe old son. I have none.

Well well, Gavin and Cronos the spider get to hang out with all the Guardianistas at the Department for Education. If that’s not a statement of the unholy mess Britain is in, I don’t know what it is.

Cognitive dissonance....how advanced. Wanker.