King Billy

Harvey’s cock?

Get a fucking avatar if you want to survive the weekend. No need to thank me.

She’s obviously just fine Doc. Surely Wills and little George showing up unannounced to watch their ‘beloved Aston Villa’ 🤔 last night proves that nothing’s up with mummy back at the morgue, sorry palace?

‘The Bibby Stockholm’ the cruise that gives you all this without leaving the pier.

I’m far too busy to even imagine doing that. Exactly like yourself I imagine.

You’ve brought back a memory from many years ago at Club U.K. in Wandsworth, when admittedly I was absolutely fucking spannered on quite a few more than the recommended dosage of ‘white doves’ and ‘snowballs’. Apparently (according to several of my fellow ravers) I found myself surrounded by a few bouncers at the bar and told to behave myself or fuck off, simply for repeatedly ordering two ‘port and lemons’ for myself and some bird who apparently didn’t even exist. Happy days.

‘Bell-end Brie’ lol.

I have my imaginary M4 valeted and waxed by some illegal Albanian and Romanian scumbags, to an eyesight endangering shine that would make Franks over polished Bellend look decidedly dull, at least once a fortnight. Mainly to impress the crowds of adoring pedestrians who watch me cruise past, smiling at all the pretty girls with my arm out the window, but also as I can’t stand living in an environment of filth and dirt. If I wanted that I’d live in France.

A very mysterious character indeed Eric. Believed to have lived his entire life somewhere within the 5w40 postcode and yet no one ever heard a squeak .

Don’t encourage the vile boring old cunt ffs.

Someone should let Pen know.

Reported. Maths is racist.

“Yes please, just butter and no bacon thanks”. Fuck ASDA, George is a cunt.

🎶Please don’t go🎶 🎶I’m begging you to stay-ay🎶

The Pakistani and Bangla-Deshi Muslim immigrants who have been given free reign to take over our streets every weekend and vent their rage over the Israeli occupation of the ‘stolen lands of Palestine’ seem to have no problem ignoring the fact that both of their shithole countries are less than a hundred years old, and were the historical homelands of tens of millions of displaced or murdered Indians, until the ‘evil racist’ British gave them what they demanded and fucked off, leaving them to resume their murderous ways.

He was rumoured to have an enormous cock too. What do you have to say about that?

Adding a sparkler would guarantee a severe rectal battering, followed by a gob full of Franks putrid jizz in the Gents too.

The Guardian or The Gay Times?

Sounds plausible to me, as I tend to shit the bed a lot more frequently when it’s raining heavily outside (mind you I do have an outside toilet).

Couldn’t reach them when he was applying sun cream?

Roops Fanny?

You will probably find that even more passers by than usual will stop dead in their tracks, scratching their heads and staring open mouthed at you, if that’s possible. Every one of them trying to work out how the fuck a hideously ugly geriatric man with a five o clock shadow, wearing an ankle length dress that reeks of mothballs and piss, could possibly have a bun in the oven? (not to mention the terror they’d feel when they realised there must be a male on the loose, capable of such a disgusting inhuman act of copulation).

Could be because I don’t have to go to bed as early as you?

‘bitchy’ and ‘snatchy’ lol.