Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 "I've got a migraine coming on, I'd better go home and take the next three days off work for good measure". You have a fucking headache, cunt. Your only liquid intake today has been three poofy sugary lattes and four diet cokes, so you are probably deeply dehydrated and have a TOTALLY NORMAL headache, like any other cunt has. About 0.01% of the population get real migraines, with the trippy visuals and the vomiting and the shivering while locked away in a darkened room. These people don't simply spring back up with a hop and a skip, having totally fucking fabricated a day off work watching Netflix and wanking. The worst offenders are, surprise surprise, women. They can blame it on their hormones, their menopause or whatever, leaving theirbmale boss to stew, as no real man wants to discuss women shite in an open-plan office. Basically they want (another) excuse to do way less work than men and fuck off home early to eat chocolate, drink shitey Tesco Prosecco and bitch about how men are all animals. Glass ceiling my arse. Put in 33% of the work then sleep and blackmail your way to the top. One word for these fat slackers: Paracetamol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 This nom. Is about as welcome as a STD, TSD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: This nom. Is about as welcome as a STD, TSD Hey, Bungalow Bill What did you kill, Bungalow Bill? Hey, Bungalow Bill What did you kill, Bungalow Bill? Do stairs give you a migraine? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 3 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Hey, Bungalow Bill What did you kill, Bungalow Bill? Hey, Bungalow Bill What did you kill, Bungalow Bill? Buffalo Bill ’s defunct who used to ride a watersmooth-silver stallion and break onetwothreefourfive pigeonsjustlikethat Jesus he was a handsome man and what i want to know is how do you like your blue-eyed boy Mister Death Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 I agree with the bit about migraines, you spoiled it a little with your rant about the fairer sex though. Queer cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 3 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Hey, Bungalow Bill What did you kill, Bungalow Bill? Hey, Bungalow Bill What did you kill, Bungalow Bill? Do stairs give you a migraine? Dan, you're figuratively on fire tonight. Please make it a literal inferno by falling asleep in a drunken stupor and leaving your overused chip pan on unattended in your disgusting Gorbals hovel. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 2 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Buffalo Bill ’s defunct who used to ride a watersmooth-silver stallion and break onetwothreefourfive pigeonsjustlikethat Jesus he was a handsome man and what i want to know is how do you like your blue-eyed boy Mister Death In for a Penny, in for an Ezra Pound! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 1 minute ago, deebom said: I agree with the bit about migraines, you spoiled it a little with your rant about the fairer sex though. Queer cunt. Male feminists are the worst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Tata Steely Dan said: In for a Penny, in for an Ezra Pound! I'm cumming! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said: I'm cumming! After a good hard Pounding from our Ezra? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 I've got a headache Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 20 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Hey, Bungalow Bill What did you kill, Bungalow Bill? Hey, Bungalow Bill What did you kill, Bungalow Bill? Do stairs give you a migraine? 'Bang bang Maxwells' silver hammer came down and put an end to some cunts fake migraine'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 7 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: I've got a headache No 'sexy time' for your chauffeur tonight then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: No 'sexy time' for your chauffeur tonight then. The chauffeur can get fucked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted January 21, 2017 Report Share Posted January 21, 2017 6 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I've got a headache Frank trying to romance you again? You should be fine as long as you don't dress up as a goat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 21, 2017 Report Share Posted January 21, 2017 4 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: Frank trying to romance you again? You should be fine as long as you don't dress up as a goat. Frank is a rug muncher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted January 21, 2017 Report Share Posted January 21, 2017 We have a useless cunt at work who is always off with an alleged 'migraine'. If you're unfortunate enough to engage in conversation with him, you can get pissed up on the alcohol content from his breath, which will explain the headaches. He's also a fucking huge ham planet of a cunt. You could kick his arse all day and not hit the same spot twice. When he finally succumbs to either heart or liver failure, they'll have to give him a viking burial on an aircraft hangar. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 21, 2017 Report Share Posted January 21, 2017 3 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: Frank is a rug muncher "What is a woman that you forsake her, And the hearth-fire and the home-acre. To go with the old grey Widow-maker?" Frank lied about the boat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 21, 2017 Report Share Posted January 21, 2017 I hate wankers who claim to have migraines, and then you see them later that day down the shops... if you had a real migraine you couldn't move out of bed you fucking fucktards. A real migraine is a whole fleet of jackhammers in your head, full 42 acid tab hallucinations, not just a hangover which is only a single mash hammer on the back of the head. If you get proper migraines, then the day after that feels like a hangover. We did have one silly bint who reckoned she got them from eating chocolate, then every christmas or easter, lo and behold, she scoff the fuck out of the office choccy tin and skive off for 2 days, which always just happened to be 2 days before the weekend.. funny that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 21, 2017 Report Share Posted January 21, 2017 8 minutes ago, nocti said: We have a useless cunt at work who is always off with an alleged 'migraine'. If you're unfortunate enough to engage in conversation with him, you can get pissed up on the alcohol content from his breath, which will explain the headaches. He's also a fucking huge ham planet of a cunt. You could kick his arse all day and not hit the same spot twice. When he finally succumbs to either heart or liver failure, they'll have to give him a viking burial on an aircraft hangar. And let me guess, it would take at least 3 years of working through the myriad HR policies on absence management and capability before you could rid of the cunt. After which he'd only sue you for unfair dismissal, and probably win. I liked it better in the olden days, when the landowner could just shoot a few peasants to set an example, and then shag their wives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 22, 2017 Report Share Posted January 22, 2017 On 21/01/2017 at 10:08 AM, Cuntybaws said: And let me guess, it would take at least 3 years of working through the myriad HR policies on absence management and capability before you could rid of the cunt. After which he'd only sue you for unfair dismissal, and probably win. I liked it better in the olden days, when the landowner could just shoot a few peasants to set an example, and then shag their wives. Not necessarily in that order though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 22, 2017 Report Share Posted January 22, 2017 Got a headache again so Frank can swivel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 22, 2017 Report Share Posted January 22, 2017 On 21/01/2017 at 10:08 AM, Cuntybaws said: And let me guess, it would take at least 3 years of working through the myriad HR policies on absence management and capability before you could rid of the cunt. After which he'd only sue you for unfair dismissal, and probably win. I liked it better in the olden days, when the landowner could just shoot a few peasants to set an example, and then shag their wives. Near the racecourse at Ludlow there is a cottage where many years ago a skeleton was found buried in the garden. It turned out that it was the remains of a local squire who used to have his way with his workers daughters. In this case the father who was a gardener caught the squire at it with his daugher and dispatched him with a garden fork and buried him in the garden. His disapearance remained a mystery for many years until the cottage was sold and the people who bought it decided to dig part of the garden up to build an extension. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 22, 2017 Report Share Posted January 22, 2017 On 21 January 2017 at 10:03 AM, Cuntybaws said: "What is a woman that you forsake her, And the hearth-fire and the home-acre. To go with the old grey Widow-maker?" Frank lied about the boat. I'm particularly fond of Mr Kiplings Cherry Bakewells. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 22, 2017 Report Share Posted January 22, 2017 4 hours ago, DingTheRioja said: Not necessarily in that order though. You sadistic fucker. You want to tell them that you've shagged their wives so you can see the the look on their faces, and THEN shoot them. Credit where it's due, you're an inspiration to super villains everywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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