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Cunts that claim to have migraines.


Guest Tata Steely Dan

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Guest Tata Steely Dan

"I've got a migraine coming on, I'd better go home and take the next three days off work for good measure".

You have a fucking headache, cunt. Your only liquid intake today has been three poofy sugary lattes and four diet cokes, so you are probably deeply dehydrated and have a TOTALLY NORMAL headache, like any other cunt has. About 0.01% of the population get real migraines, with the trippy visuals and the vomiting and the shivering while locked away in a darkened room. These people don't simply spring back up with a hop and a skip, having totally fucking fabricated a day off work watching Netflix and wanking. 

The worst offenders are, surprise surprise, women. They can blame it on their hormones, their menopause or whatever, leaving theirbmale boss to stew, as no real man wants to discuss women shite in an open-plan office. Basically they want (another) excuse to do way less work than men and fuck off home early to eat chocolate, drink shitey Tesco Prosecco and bitch about how men are all animals. Glass ceiling my arse. Put in 33% of the work then sleep and blackmail your way to the top. 

One word for these fat slackers: Paracetamol. 

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
1 minute ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

This nom. Is about as welcome as a STD, TSD

Hey, Bungalow Bill
What did you kill, Bungalow Bill?
Hey, Bungalow Bill
What did you kill, Bungalow Bill?

 

Do stairs give you a migraine? 
 

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3 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Hey, Bungalow Bill
What did you kill, Bungalow Bill?
Hey, Bungalow Bill
What did you kill, Bungalow Bill?

 
Buffalo Bill ’s
defunct
               who used to
               ride a watersmooth-silver
                                                                  stallion
and break onetwothreefourfive pigeonsjustlikethat
                                                                                                     Jesus
 
he was a handsome man 
                                                  and what i want to know is
how do you like your blue-eyed boy
Mister Death
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3 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Hey, Bungalow Bill
What did you kill, Bungalow Bill?
Hey, Bungalow Bill
What did you kill, Bungalow Bill?

 

Do stairs give you a migraine? 
 

Dan, you're figuratively on fire tonight. Please make it a literal inferno by falling asleep in a drunken stupor and leaving your overused chip pan on unattended in your disgusting Gorbals hovel.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
2 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:
 
Buffalo Bill ’s
defunct
               who used to
               ride a watersmooth-silver
                                                                  stallion
and break onetwothreefourfive pigeonsjustlikethat
                                                                                                     Jesus
 
he was a handsome man 
                                                  and what i want to know is
how do you like your blue-eyed boy
Mister Death

 

 

In for a Penny, in for an Ezra Pound!

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
1 minute ago, deebom said:

I agree with the bit about migraines, you spoiled it a little with your rant about the fairer sex though. Queer cunt.

Male feminists are the worst. 

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We have a useless cunt at work who is always off with an alleged 'migraine'. If you're unfortunate enough to engage in conversation with him, you can get pissed up on the alcohol content from his breath, which will explain the headaches.

He's also a fucking huge ham planet of a cunt. You could kick his arse all day and not hit the same spot twice. When he finally succumbs to either heart or liver failure, they'll have to give him a viking burial on an aircraft hangar.

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Guest DingTheRioja

I hate wankers who claim to have migraines, and then you see them later that day down the shops... if you had a real migraine you couldn't move out of bed you fucking fucktards. 

A real migraine is a whole fleet of jackhammers in your head, full 42 acid tab hallucinations, not just a hangover which is only a single mash hammer on the back of the head.  If you get proper migraines, then the day after that feels like a hangover.

 

We did have one silly bint who reckoned she got them from eating chocolate, then every christmas or easter, lo and behold, she scoff the fuck out of the office choccy tin and skive off for 2 days, which always just happened to be 2 days before the weekend.. funny that...

 

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8 minutes ago, nocti said:

We have a useless cunt at work who is always off with an alleged 'migraine'. If you're unfortunate enough to engage in conversation with him, you can get pissed up on the alcohol content from his breath, which will explain the headaches.

He's also a fucking huge ham planet of a cunt. You could kick his arse all day and not hit the same spot twice. When he finally succumbs to either heart or liver failure, they'll have to give him a viking burial on an aircraft hangar.

And let me guess, it would take at least 3 years of working through the myriad HR policies on absence management and capability before you could rid of the cunt. After which he'd only sue you for unfair dismissal, and probably win. I liked it better in the olden days, when the landowner could just shoot a few peasants to set an example, and then shag their wives.

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Guest DingTheRioja
On 21/01/2017 at 10:08 AM, Cuntybaws said:

And let me guess, it would take at least 3 years of working through the myriad HR policies on absence management and capability before you could rid of the cunt. After which he'd only sue you for unfair dismissal, and probably win. I liked it better in the olden days, when the landowner could just shoot a few peasants to set an example, and then shag their wives.

Not necessarily in that order though.

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Guest Lady Penelope
On 21/01/2017 at 10:08 AM, Cuntybaws said:

And let me guess, it would take at least 3 years of working through the myriad HR policies on absence management and capability before you could rid of the cunt. After which he'd only sue you for unfair dismissal, and probably win. I liked it better in the olden days, when the landowner could just shoot a few peasants to set an example, and then shag their wives.

Near the racecourse at Ludlow there is a cottage where many years ago a skeleton was found buried in the garden. It turned out that it was the remains of a local squire who used to have his way with his workers daughters. In this case the father who was a gardener caught the squire at it with his daugher and dispatched him with a garden fork and buried him in the garden. His disapearance remained a mystery for many years until the cottage was sold and the people who bought it decided to dig part of the garden up to build an extension.

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