Cuntybaws Posted August 1, 2015 Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 I'm talking to some woman on a chat site but comparing her to my woman is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.A woman, eh? Well, you believe whatever you like, and good luck to you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 1, 2015 Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 A woman, eh? Well, you believe whatever you like, and good luck to you!I will need more than that, I'd want my preferred choice really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 1, 2015 Report Share Posted August 1, 2015 I will need more than that, I'd want my preferred choice really.Probably for the best. And If the dating website continues to introduce you to potential partners going by the name of "Big Dave" ask them for your money back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 2, 2015 Report Share Posted August 2, 2015 Probably for the best. And If the dating website continues to introduce you to potential partners going by the name of "Big Dave" ask them for your money back!I think it's sound advice for any potential partner with either Big or Dave in the name. Big Becs doesn't sound all that appealing, if I'm honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 2, 2015 Report Share Posted August 2, 2015 I joined one of these sites 3 months ago. Not a fucking sniff. When I complained, they suggested I renew my subscription without my profile image. Cunts.Any fool is aware that those sort of sites are based on looks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 8, 2015 Report Share Posted August 8, 2015 It's brilliant to have the Ashes back, 600 days those smug idiots had them for, we will have them until at least the end of of 2017 which is longer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted August 8, 2015 Report Share Posted August 8, 2015 In cider. Inside her..........or him. Get it. Where is apple? Of course Crabbies has fucked this up by brewing cider from anything EXCEPT apples. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 19, 2015 Report Share Posted August 19, 2015 Come on Scruffo, don't leave wanting, where is the Rolf Harris to Rembrandt comparison? There's this new brilliant woman at work, best person I've met in 2015. Only problem is she may be a bit young for me, I think is with someone and comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted August 19, 2015 Report Share Posted August 19, 2015 There's this new brilliant woman at work, best person I've met in 2015. Only problem is she may be a bit young for me, I think is with someone and comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.Is she hugely pessimistic, sick of her life and job, desperate to emigrate to the antipodes, obsessed with the beatles, poverty stricken, mourning for her lost love, abused by her employers and craving sympathy? If so, you have found your soulmate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 best person I've met in 2015. Only problem is she may be a bit young for me,I do hope your not a school caretaker Scruffers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 There's this new brilliant woman at work, best person I've met in 2015. Only problem is she may be a bit young for me, I think is with someone and comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.Scruffers, all I can say is give her a chance. By limiting yourself you risk missing out on someone special. You need to be opening new doors, not checking the creeping old ones you already know to lead nowhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 I do hope your not a school caretaker Scruffers.No. Scruffers, all I can say is give her a chance. By limiting yourself you risk missing out on someone special. You need to be opening new doors, not checking the creeping old ones you already know to lead nowhere. That's very good advice actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 No.That's very good advice actually.I see our hour is just about up, would you like to book this same time next week? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 25, 2015 Report Share Posted August 25, 2015 There's this new brilliant woman at work, best person I've met in 2015. Only problem is she may be a bit young for me, I think is with someone and comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.I got a hug off her yesterday but it's like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 25, 2015 Report Share Posted August 25, 2015 I got a hug off her yesterday but it's like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.why is that? A hug from a fit bird is usually a good thing, unless you tried to slip her your Saville. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 26, 2015 Report Share Posted August 26, 2015 why is that? A hug from a fit bird is usually a good thing, unless you tried to slip her your Saville. Comparing any woman to my woman is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 26, 2015 Report Share Posted August 26, 2015 Comparing any woman to my woman is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.then get on with it and send her your ear...figuratively speaking, of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 28, 2015 Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 Comparing any woman to my woman is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.I got a hug off her yesterday but it's like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.I'm beginning to suspect that you are going round in circles here Apple'. Does she help you clean the hotel lavs ? I bet you miss your tradesman days ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 28, 2015 Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 I'm beginning to suspect that you are going round in circles here Apple'. Does she help you clean the hotel lavs ? I bet you miss your tradesman days ?I do really, it's been six long years since they ended. We have more chance of winning the Ashes 0-5 in Australia than I do ending my single days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 I'm beginning to suspect that you are going round in circles here Apple'. Does she help you clean the hotel lavs ? I bet you miss your tradesman days ?I rolled back the years today, I had a woman texting me and even phoned her up, didn't expect that this morning. Nice woman but comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. I'm so far out of my depth on this one it's untrue, it's going to have to end somewhere. Part of me wants to just sever all ties but the other doesn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 I rolled back the years today, I had a woman texting me and even phoned her up, didn't expect that this morning. Nice woman but comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. I'm so far out of my depth on this one it's untrue, it's going to have to end somewhere. Part of me wants to just sever all ties but the other doesn't.Sever arteries - Not tiesThere's a fucking brilliant T-Shirt motif for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 Sever arteries - Not tiesThere's a fucking brilliant T-Shirt motif for you.I should just grow up really, phoning her up was probably the most pathetic thing I've done in 2015. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 I should just grow up really, phoning her up was probably the most pathetic thing I've done in 2015. Don't be so hard on yourself, Scruffs....2015 isn't over yet. You have plenty of chances to do something even more pathetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 In response to the subject of this nom, and I don't know if this is really relevant but, I saw an apple hanging off my tree today and it looked so fucking weak and pathetic not even the maggots were interested in it. You know the sort I mean, would probably be more fitting shoved up a pigs arse rather than put in its mouth if you were creating a table decoration out of your pork roast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 I should just grow up really, phoning her up was probably the most pathetic thing I've done in 2015. That is actually impossible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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