Guest Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I went shopping for condoms the other day as I have to use them coz when my cock gets wet I get arthritis and was absolutely staggered by amount of options on offer. Ribbed, glow in the dark, flavoured, scented, even vibrating ones for fucks sake. Then you have to pick a size ranging from Asian gentleman to Brooklyn basketball player and even one called Mr Big. Why the fuck is their so many options for something that's major objective is to stop your ball cream swimming up stream?? Faced with all these options I lost patience and brought a crunchie bar and used the fucking wrapper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Something for the weekend sir? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Suits you sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Did you consider a box of latex gloves Grumps, she's then got access to a few more fingers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Did you consider a box of latex gloves Grumps, she's then got access to a few more fingers. Never considered that Duc. I could cut the fingers off and I'm set for 10 fucks which would probably last me another decade. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Commercial Roll of Clingfilm.... ...just sayin'... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I bought some the other day, the extended pleasure ones. I notice you can get them in "larger fit" size as well. I bought regular. That's fucking great. So when I took them up the bird at the counter of the chemist, she would have been thinking that this cunt not only goes off after 2 pushes, but has an average size cock, at best. Shopping for dingers is a real embarrassing cunt. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Go for the natural feel of a roll of sausage skin bought from the butchers suppliers and a load of lube of your choice. Cut to length allowing for the balloon style knot in the end and bobs your uncle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cuntcrapper Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Hope you got outsize I went shopping for condoms the other day as I have to use them coz when my cock gets wet I get arthritis and was absolutely staggered by amount of options on offer. Ribbed, glow in the dark, flavoured, scented, even vibrating ones for fucks sake. Then you have to pick a size ranging from Asian gentleman to Brooklyn basketball player and even one called Mr Big. Why the fuck is their so many options for something that's major objective is to stop your ball cream swimming up stream?? Faced with all these options I lost patience and brought a crunchie bar and used the fucking wrapper. Hope you got 'Mr Big' and pulled one over your cuntly old gob you bubonic old rathead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Condoms are for benders. Man up, if you get AIDS just hope it's good AIDS and not the bad one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Don't whatever you do, go for them fluorescent glow in the dark fuckers. Particularly if there's a cat in the room. One twitch from your todger and its goodbye to your bollocks. The best all-rounder, is the clingfilm from a block of Stilton, or a sheet of fine-grade wet & dry, like they used on Blue Peter once during the AIDS scare of the 1980s. I bet Peter wasn't blue for long.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Ever tried lambskin condom? You need to make your condom last longer? Turn it inside out when you're done and shake the fuck out of it, put it back on and keep on with the fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I bought a pack of three twelve moths ago, still got two left, I lost the other one when I opened my wallet down a dark back street, while having a conversation with this woman about something or other...😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I used to put one on just to have a wank. Safety first, especially as I knew exactly where my hands had been! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I went shopping for condoms the other day as I have to use them coz when my cock gets wet I get arthritis and was absolutely staggered by amount of options on offer. Ribbed, glow in the dark, flavoured, scented, even vibrating ones for fucks sake. Then you have to pick a size ranging from Asian gentleman to Brooklyn basketball player and even one called Mr Big. Why the fuck is their so many options for something that's major objective is to stop your ball cream swimming up stream?? Faced with all these options I lost patience and brought a crunchie bar and used the fucking wrapper. Have you got a fit little bird on the side then? Naughty old bean! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I went shopping for condoms the other day as I have to use them coz when my cock gets wet I get arthritis and was absolutely staggered by amount of options on offer. Ribbed, glow in the dark, flavoured, scented, even vibrating ones for fucks sake. Then you have to pick a size ranging from Asian gentleman to Brooklyn basketball player and even one called Mr Big. Why the fuck is their so many options for something that's major objective is to stop your ball cream swimming up stream?? Faced with all these options I lost patience and brought a crunchie bar and used the fucking wrapper. What? You rub the condom lubricant on your old joints? You know condoms were made for something other than rubbing knees. And don't tell me you have an inflammation of the cock. On the other hand you could be using condoms for cleaning CDs, shine shoes or carry water while going for walks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I always go Asian Gentleman. I buy online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I always go Asian Gentleman. I buy online. Asian? Ooh, steady there , Frank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I always go Asian Gentleman. I buy online. We've heard that about you. Asian trannies, rent boys, boxers with skid marks, all asian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 We've heard that about you. Asian trannies, rent boys, boxers with skid marks, all asian. No.. none of that. I'm just small to medium at best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 No.. none of that. I'm just small to medium at best. I heard you were more miniscule to non-existant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 No.. none of that. I'm just small to medium at best. Who are you, and what have you done with Frank? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 I heard you were more miniscule to non-existant. ... good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Keith Lard Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) Altered quote deleted Edited October 27, 2014 by Rick_B Altering quotes, don't do that again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Who are you, and what have you done with Frank? It's only me kunty... kleftiko. I've turned a leaf and we're now bestest friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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