Guest cuntcrapper Posted November 13, 2014 Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 BBC crapping on all day with this self congratulatory 'TopNews Story' about a washing machine landing on a comet. World stopping comments include, 'has it landed up against a bolster', as it only send pictures of what looks like the bottom of a parrot's cage. 'What's the first thing it said upon landing', 'will it be safe, or will it perish'! We are promised updates every thirty minutes, why? Who gives a brass fuck whether this pile of cunting scrap falls off the flying rock its clinging too, whether it can prove that amoeba's originally came from space, when its Duracells will run out, if it's spin cycle will complete etc etc etc. This Eu sputnik even knocked Jock Salmonds goodbye speech to his loser 000's off top place on the fuckin 1'oclock news. Who the fuck paid for this bucket of bollocks! Special agent Dick Branson will be at it next putting chest freezers into orbit full of dead pilots! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 13, 2014 Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 I find it ironic that the space programme is credited with the development of Velcro, but no cunt seems to have thought of using it here. The thing that REALLY fucks me off about this triumph of endeavour and technology is how everyone comes in their pants because the lander sent a tweet. The soft fucking cunts deserve everything that Skynet will one day throw at them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted November 13, 2014 Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 Watched this on the news yesterday morning, they showed all the joyous people in the control centre. There was some large female jumping up and down as if she had just found out her new boyfriend had a 14 inch cock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted November 13, 2014 Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted November 13, 2014 Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth! Evidently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted November 13, 2014 Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 Evidently. Your point being? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 13, 2014 Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 I do take the point that a lot of time and money is spent on space ventures and it appears to be pissing in the wind given the mind boggling distance just to get to Mars. Perhaps the human race is isolated light years away from any other cunt for good reason. A bit like Australians I guess 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 13, 2014 Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 It's a cute little thing: One leg up in the air and all, bouncing around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 14, 2014 Report Share Posted November 14, 2014 If its a hotpoint they'll have to get a service engineer out within 3 months. Fucking useless Hotpoint Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cuntcrapper Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 Bet the Fat lady isn't singing today. Apparently the fucking batteries have gone flat and the cunt's gone into 'standby mode'. Standby for what, for fucks sake 'Green Fag' Intergalactic Rescue'! Cunts all of em, they can take their fucking washing machine and fuck right off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 Voyager 1 is now over 12,000 million miles away, on the utmost edge of the solar system. All respect to the little tin cunt! http://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/where/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 Someone ought to tell Richard Branson it takes more than a cardigan and a failed Diploma in Ballooning to run a space mission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 The tight fisted bitch should have used DURACELL. If they're good enough for her 'clit-rabbit' then what the fuck was she thinking? You beat me to this comment by 4 minutes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cuntcrapper Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 An update - of course! When this cunting overgrown Xbox gets nearer a sun it will apprently wake up and start interviewing everything - Zanussi meets Graham Norton for fucks sake. Fucking boring, slow news day bollocks item from the EU. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 ... you have your batteries to thank for that ;-) rechargeables you know it makes sense Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 So we now know a comet is made from rock,well I'm fucking ecstatic life now has a whole new meaning. What I really want to know is the chances of it crashing through a bedsit window in Derby while some fat cunt is noseing a marvel comic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 I got a lump of comet for christmas once. Its a 2cm square lump of cinder with metal running through it, glued to a lump of wood. This is the sort of shit you get when you say you don't want anything. Just get me a case of rose you cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 Consider yourself one of the lucky ones... I got a chunk of the Arctic Circle and forgot to keep the cunting thing in the fridge. Re-freeze it and get it on ebay quick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 Don't forget to charge for the coolbox.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 I got a lump of comet for christmas once. Its a 2cm square lump of cinder with metal running through it, glued to a lump of wood. This is the sort of shit you get when you say you don't want anything. Just get me a case of rose you cunt. Fuck me they're still at it then, I was making them up in the shed twenty years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted November 15, 2014 Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 Fuck me they're still at it then, I was making them up in the shed twenty years ago. I thought as much. It looks like a bit of tempered steel mixed with dried dog shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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