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Britain's Got Talent


Guest nobgobbler

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Did David Walliams come out or is he still mincing around like Charlie Hawtrey pretending to be gay?

David Walliams, same old same old, trying to make blokes feel uncomfortable with his mincing, is about is as funny as this utter cunt gets. We have enough genuine  poofs on the telly without this weird fucker pretending. 

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It's a rather sad indictment of Britain that after months of scouring the country for talent the winner turns out to be a middle-aged woman who has nothing better to do than spend hours on end teaching her dog to perform inane tricks. I look after a dog for a few weeks a year. Last year when I took it back to Mrs Peacock's sisters house, I was enjoying a cup of tea when the dog emerged from behind the sofa with a mahoosive,  mandigo dildo in it's mouth.  Now that's entertainment.

Sack the judges, put frank on the panel and then at least no cunt makes it through round 1.

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This has got a high inbuilt obsolescence factor, that even Cowell's very special brand of marketing bombast and overkill cannot disguise; namely there is very little in the way of 'Talent' that can be showcased by this televisual limp dick of a show.

Singers - Done that - and X-Factor is dying on it's arse anyway
Street Dancers - Only so many 'moving like a Tazered Pig' spazzacts you can see before terminal ennui sets in
Comedians - Can't do much in three minutes really.
Magicians - See 'Street Dancers' 'cept splice in ' giving it the sucked in hollowed cheek, Bauhaus 'look I'm dangerous and alternative' schtik before pulling a rabbit out of a hat.

After which you're into the 'man smashing blocks of bauxite with his cock' territory, which as a one off is entertaining but where does he go then? I mean after the trip to A&E?

 

 

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This has got a high inbuilt obsolescence factor, that even Cowell's very special brand of marketing bombast and overkill cannot disguise; namely there is very little in the way of 'Talent' that can be showcased by this televisual limp dick of a show.

Singers - Done that - and X-Factor is dying on it's arse anyway
Street Dancers - Only so many 'moving like a Tazered Pig' spazzacts you can see before terminal ennui sets in
Comedians - Can't do much in three minutes really.
Magicians - See 'Street Dancers' 'cept splice in ' giving it the sucked in hollowed cheek, Bauhaus 'look I'm dangerous and alternative' schtik before pulling a rabbit out of a hat.

After which you're into the 'man smashing blocks of bauxite with his cock' territory, which as a one off is entertaining but where does he go then? I mean after the trip to A&E?

 

 

I preferred the talented dogs that could say "sausages" on that's life

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Guest Bill Stickers

It's a bit fucking bad when you saw your own dog's leg off to win in the final.

Why the fuck are you watching that shit in the first place gobbler?

How did you expect the show to culminate? Who did you think would win? Perhaps a triumphant performance by the Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra, spearheaded by a genetically-cloned Beethoven, playing the Ninth with fireworks and Victoria's Secret models in the background?

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Why the fuck are you watching that shit in the first place gobbler?

How did you expect the show to culminate? Who did you think would win? Perhaps a triumphant performance by the Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra, spearheaded by a genetically-cloned Beethoven, playing the Ninth with fireworks and Victoria's Secret models in the background?

You were at this years Little Snoring village fete talent contest, weren't you?

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Why the fuck are you watching that shit in the first place gobbler?

How did you expect the show to culminate? Who did you think would win? Perhaps a triumphant performance by the Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra, spearheaded by a genetically-cloned Beethoven, playing the Ninth with fireworks and Victoria's Secret models in the background?

Sounds like a winner, I would watch that

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Guest nobgobbler

Why the fuck are you watching that shit in the first place gobbler?

How did you expect the show to culminate? Who did you think would win? Perhaps a triumphant performance by the Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra, spearheaded by a genetically-cloned Beethoven, playing the Ninth with fireworks and Victoria's Secret models in the background?

​You have a point Sticky. It must be the cunt in me. I suppose there's always the hope that there might be a fire throwing act that will put an end to this talentless bunch of cunts once and for all - Cowell and co, Ant & Dec, and the cunt playing a tune on a plastic comb. I am musically limited, but he makes me look like Joscho Stephan.

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Guest DingTheRioja

Why the fuck are you watching that shit in the first place gobbler?

How did you expect the show to culminate? Who did you think would win? Perhaps a triumphant performance by the Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra, spearheaded by a genetically-cloned Beethoven, playing the Ninth with fireworks and Victoria's Secret models in the background?

Sounds like a winner, I would watch that

​So would I, with sound turned off.... oh.. and can we bring the girls to the front?

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