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Arsehole Customers


Guest nobgobbler

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Guest nobgobbler

Why is it that arsehole customers spring up out of nowhere when business is slow? I want to believe they're a genuine buyer because I want the work, but I've had enough experience to know when the shit they come out with is certain indication that I'm gonna be on a roundabout of pig slurry if I take this on. Yesterday some cunt didn't want to order a custom built item (presumably coz that takes longer and costs more) but instead chose one off the shelf, fair enough, but she then wanted EVERYTHING altered to suit her. After loads of to and fro, I politely explained she needed to order a custom item she said "oh I won't bother then." Thank fuck for that, go and pester somebody else you cunt. Just now another cunt wants to order a personalised item that clearly states it's no longer available and sends me this message: "Hey when ever u ready to start with the name and details just hit me up". What is this fucking nonsense all about? Fuck it, I'm off to the cinema. 

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Why is it that arsehole customers spring up out of nowhere when business is slow? I want to believe they're a genuine buyer because I want the work, but I've had enough experience to know when the shit they come out with is certain indication that I'm gonna be on a roundabout of pig slurry if I take this on. Yesterday some cunt didn't want to order a custom built item (presumably coz that takes longer and costs more) but instead chose one off the shelf, fair enough, but she then wanted EVERYTHING altered to suit her. After loads of to and fro, I politely explained she needed to order a custom item she said "oh I won't bother then." Thank fuck for that, go and pester somebody else you cunt. Just now another cunt wants to order a personalised item that clearly states it's no longer available and sends me this message: "Hey when ever u ready to start with the name and details just hit me up". What is this fucking nonsense all about? Fuck it, I'm off to the cinema. 

That's the sex toy industry for you gobbler. Er.....do you have a catalogue per chance?

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Guest DingTheRioja

Depends on the context, dingers. If it was a reference to frank and his citroen obsession I'd be referring to the 2cv, or "deux chevaux". However, in this case I meant a curriculum vitae.

 

ah I was wondering if you meant Cock-Vagina, bearing in mind the context of Gobbler and her "wares".... B)

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Why is it that arsehole customers spring up out of nowhere when business is slow? I want to believe they're a genuine buyer because I want the work, but I've had enough experience to know when the shit they come out with is certain indication that I'm gonna be on a roundabout of pig slurry if I take this on. Yesterday some cunt didn't want to order a custom built item (presumably coz that takes longer and costs more) but instead chose one off the shelf, fair enough, but she then wanted EVERYTHING altered to suit her. After loads of to and fro, I politely explained she needed to order a custom item she said "oh I won't bother then." Thank fuck for that, go and pester somebody else you cunt. Just now another cunt wants to order a personalised item that clearly states it's no longer available and sends me this message: "Hey when ever u ready to start with the name and details just hit me up". What is this fucking nonsense all about? Fuck it, I'm off to the cinema. 

Do you place a modesty cloth over the genitalia when embalming? 

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Guest Ahriman

Nobgobbler: the ann summers of cunts corner :D  That would look great on anyones cv.

I can picture it now...

Vibrators made out of bits of cardboard hastily cello-taped together and operated with pound shop batteries from Kazakhstan that last a grand total of 30 seconds on the mildest setting.

Second hand anal beads that are still coated in bronys shit.

Bottles of lube that consist entirely of professor Bs saliva.

And a fleshlight realistically molded from Cuntwads fanny that is poised to swallow whole any poor cunt crazy enough to stick his dick in it.

 

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Guest DingTheRioja

I can picture it now...

Vibrators made out of bits of cardboard hastily cello-taped together and operated with pound shop batteries from Kazakhstan that last a grand total of 30 seconds on the mildest setting.

Second hand anal beads that are still coated in bronys shit.

Bottles of lube that consist entirely of professor Bs saliva.

And a fleshlight realistically molded from Cuntwads fanny that is poised to swallow whole any poor cunt crazy enough to stick his dick in it.

 

You went too fucking far with that one!!!!!!!!!

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I can picture it now...

Vibrators made out of bits of cardboard hastily cello-taped together and operated with pound shop batteries from Kazakhstan that last a grand total of 30 seconds on the mildest setting.

Second hand anal beads that are still coated in bronys shit.

Bottles of lube that consist entirely of professor Bs saliva.

And a fleshlight realistically molded from Cuntwads fanny that is poised to swallow whole any poor cunt crazy enough to stick his dick in it.

 

Where the fuck have you been peanut, haven't seen you on here in ages. Not that you've missed much.

 

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I can picture it now...

Vibrators made out of bits of cardboard hastily cello-taped together and operated with pound shop batteries from Kazakhstan that last a grand total of 30 seconds on the mildest setting.

Second hand anal beads that are still coated in bronys shit.

Bottles of lube that consist entirely of professor Bs saliva.

And a fleshlight realistically molded from Cuntwads fanny that is poised to swallow whole any poor cunt crazy enough to stick his dick in it.

 

Actually, on second thoughts, bollocks to the catalogue now. Not only do I no longer need it, after seeing all the marvellous products on offer here, but I can't say I find any of them particularly enticing. Especially Brony's Beads, the thought of which have quite frankly put me off my fucking dinner.

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Guest Ahriman

Where the fuck have you been peanut, haven't seen you on here in ages. Not that you've missed much.

 

A combination of alcohol, general disinterest and the witcher 3 have been keeping me from posting of late.

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Actually, on second thoughts, bollocks to the catalogue now. Not only do I no longer need it, after seeing all the marvellous products on offer here, but I can't say I find any of them particularly enticing. Especially Brony's Beads, the thought of which have quite frankly put me off my fucking dinner.

Chilli con carne I guess?

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Chilli con carne I guess?

Not too many miles away Gyp; lasagne. Home made by Mrs N, and rather bloody lovely, but a mere shadow of its former glory when I made it through the pasta into the browned runny ragu, and for some stupid fucking reason cast my mind back to this thread. 

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Guest nobgobbler

I knew I could rely on you lot to cheer me up you bunch of funny fuckers. A year's subscription to "Brace Yourself" magazine for each and every one of you free of charge.

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