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Disaster Films


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Guest Wizardsleeve
Posted

Just when I thought the cinema couldn't possibly sink any lower, enter the straight to video disaster film genre!  These cunting things require a couple of hundred actors, only one or two with any level of success in the business, and the producers have to turn it into a fucking daytime drama without the sex, betrayal, and adultery.  Earthquakes, tidal waves, spontaneous volcanic eruptions, buildings collapsing, the ground opening up and swallowing hundreds of thousands of unsuspecting cunts who switched off the tele when the "Breaking News" began.  

These films are the height of idiocy of film-making.  

Guest Wizardsleeve
Posted (edited)

I've seen the ads for that one, and something told me to pass on the opportunity.  However, my lovely wife is something of a fanatic for daytime drama, and the nobility of human achievement against insurmountable circumstances style film.  I present to you, the motivation behind this topic, and quite possible the reason for divorce:

10.5_ballov_apokalipsis_10.5_apocalypse-

 

If you ever find yourself in the dubious position of having to view this cinematic pile of shit, you will know what it feels like to hit rock bottom. 

Edited by Wizardsleeve
Guest Alfie Noakes
Posted

Check out Stonehenge Apocalypse. That has to be the worst. 

Posted

I appeared in a couple films in my younger days. They were a disaster. But I was young and needed the money.

Yes, who could forget "Gyppo does Durham". It's one of my all time favourites. The dialogue was shite, but the double ended dildo scene was pure cinematic magic.

  • Like 1
Posted

You're right of course. Who could forget the scene where The Judge is fisted by the entire St Helens Rugby team.

Cheap shot, Decs, I thought you were better than that.

4. No nominations of fellow members 
7. No fomenting arguments or pursuing vendettas with other members. 
9. No posting of items promoting or depicting pornography

And not even a fucking picture!

  • Like 2
Guest DingTheRioja
Posted

Yes, who could forget "Gyppo does Durham". It's one of my all time favourites. The dialogue was shite, but the double ended dildo scene was pure cinematic magic.

Fucking hell... I worked in Durham for years and never got asked to casting... Hrrumph!

Was Morgan Freeman in any of them? He's in every other fucking film.

Isn't he that dwarf bloke in some New Zealand film?

Guest yariman
Posted

Pretty sure that was Samuel L Jackson...

 

No, wasn't Alan played by Carl Weather's when he wasn't being Apollo Creed?

Guest MikeD
Posted

Just when I thought the cinema couldn't possibly sink any lower, enter the straight to video disaster film genre!  These cunting things require a couple of hundred actors, only one or two with any level of success in the business, and the producers have to turn it into a fucking daytime drama without the sex, betrayal, and adultery.  Earthquakes, tidal waves, spontaneous volcanic eruptions, buildings collapsing, the ground opening up and swallowing hundreds of thousands of unsuspecting cunts who switched off the tele when the "Breaking News" began.  

These films are the height of idiocy of film-making.  

Chancing cunts making shite for brain dead cunts.

Guest Snatch
Posted

Pretty sure that was Samuel L Jackson...

I think it was Sidney Poitier.

Guest Drew P Pissflaps
Posted

Sidney potter

They all bear a remarkable resemblance to the character but wasn't the actor called Richard Beckinsale??

Guest Alfie Noakes
Posted

They all bear a remarkable resemblance to the character but wasn't the actor called Richard Beckinsale??

Don Warrington

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