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The Prophet Mohammed


Guest Quincy Cockfingers

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14 minutes ago, Snatch said:

On the old site Frank made it up about owning a restaurant,just like he owns a boat and goes travelling around Europe.

The same as Judge made it all up about owning a Harley,being a hard man and thinking he is intelligent.

They both make me laugh, and neither of them for the right reasons.

Fuck it, let them get on with it.

 

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1 hour ago, Frank. said:

The restaurant saga I regret. Almost 5 years on and it's still too hilarious to contemplate. 

Shortly after his extraordinary meltdown, he posted his home address on here and invited everyone to physically take him on. Naturally I took it upon myself to send him, by special delivery, a dollop of my own faeces for 31 days consecutively. 

The other shit wasn't me. 

Aaaaaaah Bless....", Tuesday, October 9, 2012, 7:39 pm - "If that's your number, you are one daft old prick. Let the games begin..."

Anyone wants the actual number and address, deposit 0.25 Bitcoin in Bitstamp account MT1023912 with the instruction, "Yes, I want to send some oversize rubberwear to Judge on approval."

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3 hours ago, Frank. said:

It all came about when Tot and I were courting back in the day. This was our song..

We're not all sad fuckin guitar playing muso daydreaming pensioners. 

I'm glad to hear it. This muso pensioner has sessioned on several dozen albums  and been paid handsomely for it. One of those albums has sold five million copies. Of course, that was when I wasn't day dreaming. Session work is fitful and hard. I wanted certainly so I had a "day job".

If you practise , Frank, they might let you play "country road" at your local folk club ..... Keep smiling darling boy!

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Guest Bill Stickers
On 11/29/2015, 10:36:58, Frank. said:

The restaurant saga I regret. Almost 5 years on and it's still too hilarious to contemplate. 

Shortly after his extraordinary meltdown, he posted his home address on here and invited everyone to physically take him on. Naturally I took it upon myself to send him, by special delivery, a dollop of my own faeces for 31 days consecutively. 

The other shit wasn't me. 

Jesus Christ, he put his address on this site? I knew he was a fucking moron but this is beyond the pale.

I don't understand how you owning a restaurant or a Harley Davidson fits into any of this, but it sounds fucking hilarious nonetheless. 

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On 29 November 2015 13:51:31, cuntspotter said:

I'm glad to hear it. This muso pensioner has sessioned on several dozen albums  and been paid handsomely for it. One of those albums has sold five million copies. Of course, that was when I wasn't day dreaming. Session work is fitful and hard. I wanted certainly so I had a "day job".

If you practise , Frank, they might let you play "country road" at your local folk club ..... Keep smiling darling boy!

Has Jazz hacked your account or are you allowing your demons to get the better of you?

Silly.

 

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On Sun Nov 29 2015 10:36:58 GMT+0000, Frank. said:

The restaurant saga I regret. Almost 5 years on and it's still too hilarious to contemplate. 

Shortly after his extraordinary meltdown, he posted his home address on here and invited everyone to physically take him on. Naturally I took it upon myself to send him, by special delivery, a dollop of my own faeces for 31 days consecutively. 

The other shit wasn't me. 

I'm suprised at you, Frank. You are undoubtedly a classy individual, a dapper gentleman and a real Beau Brummell if you will. Engaging in scatological shenanigans with an emotionally damaged old cove like The Judge, is quite frankly beneath you.

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Just now, Decimus said:

I'm suprised at you, Frank. You are undoubtedly a classy individual, a dapper gentleman and a real Beau Brummell if you will. Engaging in scatological shenanigans with an emotionally damaged old cove like The Judge, is quite frankly beneath you.

Everyone deserves a chance.. I don't know. It wasn't cheap sending all that shit.

I assume your absence was due to burying that fucking god awful wife of yours...  

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2 minutes ago, Frank. said:

Everyone deserves a chance.. I don't know. It wasn't cheap sending all that shit.

I assume your absence was due to burying that fucking god awful wife of yours...  

She has her uses, Frank. Without her, I'd be left to raise my two equally awful children alone. I don't mind telling you father-to-father, that I hate them almost as much as I do their mother.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
1 minute ago, Decimus said:

She has her uses, Frank. Without her, I'd be left to raise my two equally awful children alone. I don't mind telling you father-to-father, that I hate them almost as much as I do their mother.

Why didn't you get her tubes tied before marrying her?  Seems to me that one mistake, of your own making, would have changed the outlook and pace of your life, profoundly, Decs. 

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Guest DingTheRioja
5 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Why didn't you get her tubes tied before marrying her?  Seems to me that one mistake, of your own making, would have changed the outlook and pace of your life, profoundly, Decs. 

...they might not be his...

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6 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Why didn't you get her tubes tied before marrying her?  Seems to me that one mistake, of your own making, would have changed the outlook and pace of your life, profoundly, Decs. 

She caught me young and inebriated, Wiz. One moment I was quite the man about town, the next I was trapped within an endless cycle of Fisher Price toys, spousal resentment and joyless day trips to Brewers Fayre restaurants and adventure playgrounds. 

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Guest Wizardsleeve
1 minute ago, Decimus said:

She caught me young and inebriated, Wiz. One moment I was quite the man about town, the next I was trapped within an endless cycle of Fisher Price toys, spousal resentment and joyless day trips to Brewers Fayre restaurants and adventure playgrounds. 

One of her oversized brothers chloroformed you, put the cricket bat to your legs and shot gunned you to say "I do" whilst in a daze, and life henceforth is a tour through the bowels of hell. Poor bastard!

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Guest DingTheRioja
26 minutes ago, Decimus said:

She caught me young and inebriated, Wiz. One moment I was quite the man about town, the next I was trapped within an endless cycle of Fisher Price toys, spousal resentment and joyless day trips to Brewers Fayre restaurants and adventure playgrounds. 

Brewers Fayre??

You poor bastard, she must be an evil one to do that...

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

She has her uses, Frank. Without her, I'd be left to raise my two equally awful children alone. I don't mind telling you father-to-father, that I hate them almost as much as I do their mother.

Decs, my advice to you is the same advice I give to other semi-intelligent father's I know..

If you can afford it, send them boarding as soon as possible. If you can't.. start thinking about an exit plan.

Whatever you do, don't do a nocti. Hope this helps xx

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Guest DingTheRioja
4 minutes ago, Frank. said:

Decs, my advice to you is the same advice I give to other semi-intelligent father's I know..

If you can afford it, send them boarding as soon as possible. If you can't.. start thinking about an exit plan.

Whatever you do, don't do a nocti. Hope this helps   xx

Please tell me you're not Prof Bollocks as well?

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28 minutes ago, Frank. said:

Decs, my advice to you is the same advice I give to other semi-intelligent father's I know..

If you can afford it, send them boarding as soon as possible. If you can't.. start thinking about an exit plan.

Whatever you do, don't do a nocti. Hope this helps xx

I've often considered this, Frank. The local state comprehensive is full of multi-cultural types and delinquents from the surrounding sink estates. The thought of my boys going there and coming home transformed into hip-hop loving, cap wearing hooligans, fills me with an overwhelming sense of existential dread. But alas, you can't polish a turd, and no amount of money spent on my sons education will ever eradicate the low-browed, sheer fucking idiocy that they have inherited from their cunt of a mother.

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2 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I've often considered this, Frank. The local state comprehensive is full of multi-cultural types and delinquents from the surrounding sink estates. The thought of my boys going there and coming home transformed into hip-hop loving, cap wearing hooligans, fills me with an overwhelming sense of existential dread. But alas, you can't polish a turd, and no amount of money spent on my sons education will ever eradicate the low-browed, sheer fucking idiocy that they have inherited from their cunt of a mother.

Is there a pig farm near you?

Just asking........

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