Decimus Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Everyone knows one, usually from their office. A nauseating cunt who revels in being a supposed jackanape court jester. Usually to be found skulking and giggling in a corner after pulling a "hilarious" prank, like hiding your coffee mug. They delight in telling all and sundry how karazzeee they are, regaling any cunt stupid enough to listen with tales of hand buzzers, water squirting carnations, and the time that they stuck their tongue out at a policeman who was stood 600 metres away. There's one at my work, a drab, polyester wearing creature with a bad case of comedy catchphrase tourettes. If he's not inappropriately screeching "Am I bovvered?", he's usually wailing " I don't believvveeee it!". Well, the cunt won't fucking believe it when I key his fucking Mondeo, shove a dead pigeon in his desk, and shit in his novelty Only Fools and Horses mug. A fucking cunt of the highest order, only surpassed by that other office character, the snivelling grass. Cunts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Fast Show already did it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Always relied upon to organise the office 'dress like a cunt' day for Comic Relief and the staff Christmas do - before going home to their lonely bedsit and sobbing themselves to sleep to the sound of Melody Radio and their 12 cats howling to be fed as even they only want them because they've got the key to the kittycat. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 3 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Fast Show already did it. I was debating adding a picture of this cunt. The fast show got it spot on with a lot of their characters, but this slag especially hit home the most. Every fucker knows one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 we have this thing going on where I work at the moment........the "zany mental, you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps cunts" have taken to firing Nerf Guns at each other when in the office......trouble is that this has resulted in a pathetic arms race to see who can get the biggest kids toy gun......now remember, the average age of these twats is in the 40s. We have now reached the rapid fire automatic double magazine stage of this cuntish activity I refuse to join in and happily my miserable and sullen nature means that I am a designated "neutral zone" amidst all this constant arse gravy. Its amazing how many of the cunts join in just to be part of the crowd. Biffs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Take the childish cunts on at their own game by filling a Super Soaker with cold piss, and fashioning a set of Wolverine claws out of Stanley knives. Mutually Assured Destruction is a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 58 minutes ago, luke swarm said: we have this thing going on where I work at the moment........the "zany mental, you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps cunts" have taken to firing Nerf Guns at each other when in the office......trouble is that this has resulted in a pathetic arms race to see who can get the biggest kids toy gun......now remember, the average age of these twats is in the 40s. We have now reached the rapid fire automatic double magazine stage of this cuntish activity I refuse to join in and happily my miserable and sullen nature means that I am a designated "neutral zone" amidst all this constant arse gravy. Its amazing how many of the cunts join in just to be part of the crowd. Biffs. My nephew has a good collection of Nerf guns... however, he is 10..... You ought to join in on the sly, they have some tiny ones that are a bit like the gamblers pistols you can hide in your hand, then when you go stand behind them to tell them how shit their work is, you can "upgrade" the foam bullets with a dozen needles in the end, and shoot the cunt on the back of his neck on the spine.... Personnel will hear the scream from the next county..... Game over. The only downside is you may not have a job anymore.... On the orignal post, I would like to add "wacky"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 'You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps.' Those bastards. No, but you have to be breathing to live and my hands round your fucking throat might impede that a bit, you fucking wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 5 hours ago, luke swarm said: we have this thing going on where I work at the moment........the "zany mental, you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps cunts" have taken to firing Nerf Guns at each other when in the office......trouble is that this has resulted in a pathetic arms race to see who can get the biggest kids toy gun......now remember, the average age of these twats is in the 40s. We have now reached the rapid fire automatic double magazine stage of this cuntish activity I refuse to join in and happily my miserable and sullen nature means that I am a designated "neutral zone" amidst all this constant arse gravy. Its amazing how many of the cunts join in just to be part of the crowd. Biffs. Tomorrow morning hire out a Hydraulic nail gun. By the afternoon peace and quite should reign over the office once more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 7 hours ago, Decimus said: Everyone knows one, usually from their office. A nauseating cunt who revels in being a supposed jackanape court jester. Usually to be found skulking and giggling in a corner after pulling a "hilarious" prank, like hiding your coffee mug. They delight in telling all and sundry how karazzeee they are, regaling any cunt stupid enough to listen with tales of hand buzzers, water squirting carnations, and the time that they stuck their tongue out at a policeman who was stood 600 metres away. There's one at my work, a drab, polyester wearing creature with a bad case of comedy catchphrase tourettes. If he's not inappropriately screeching "Am I bovvered?", he's usually wailing " I don't believvveeee it!". Well, the cunt won't fucking believe it when I key his fucking Mondeo, shove a dead pigeon in his desk, and shit in his novelty Only Fools and Horses mug. A fucking cunt of the highest order, only surpassed by that other office character, the snivelling grass. Cunts. Do you work in a big tent? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 6 hours ago, luke swarm said: we have this thing going on where I work at the moment........the "zany mental, you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps cunts" have taken to firing Nerf Guns at each other when in the office......trouble is that this has resulted in a pathetic arms race to see who can get the biggest kids toy gun......now remember, the average age of these twats is in the 40s. We have now reached the rapid fire automatic double magazine stage of this cuntish activity I refuse to join in and happily my miserable and sullen nature means that I am a designated "neutral zone" amidst all this constant arse gravy. Its amazing how many of the cunts join in just to be part of the crowd. Biffs. AK47- when you simply must kill every last cunt in the room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 4 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Do you work in a big tent? I'm a tour guide at Auschwitz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 Just now, Decimus said: I'm a tour guide at Auschwitz. I'll never forgive them for how they treated my grandfather at Auschwitz during the war. Three years in that watchtower and not one fucking promotion. Now where's the number for that taxi company? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 4 minutes ago, Decimus said: I'm a tour guide at Auschwitz. Sounds like whoopie cushion territory alright, everyone walking about chuckling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted January 24, 2016 Report Share Posted January 24, 2016 1 hour ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: AK47- when you simply must kill every last cunt in the room. I can see you mean well but I think I will just have a word with the union rep first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 25, 2016 Report Share Posted January 25, 2016 You have exceptional eyesight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 25, 2016 Report Share Posted January 25, 2016 23 hours ago, Decimus said: Everyone knows one, usually from their office. A nauseating cunt who revels in being a supposed jackanape court jester. Usually to be found skulking and giggling in a corner after pulling a "hilarious" prank, like hiding your coffee mug. They delight in telling all and sundry how karazzeee they are, regaling any cunt stupid enough to listen with tales of hand buzzers, water squirting carnations, and the time that they stuck their tongue out at a policeman who was stood 600 metres away. There's one at my work, a drab, polyester wearing creature with a bad case of comedy catchphrase tourettes. If he's not inappropriately screeching "Am I bovvered?", he's usually wailing " I don't believvveeee it!". Well, the cunt won't fucking believe it when I key his fucking Mondeo, shove a dead pigeon in his desk, and shit in his novelty Only Fools and Horses mug. A fucking cunt of the highest order, only surpassed by that other office character, the snivelling grass. Cunts. sick rat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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