Earl of Punkape Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 4 hours ago, luke swarm said: Certain Health authorities have announced that they will withhold NHS surgery from dirty filthy tabbers and fat bastards. This now raises a very interesting debate that if this decision is put into place should the excessive tax on tobacco and sugary shite also be decreased to ensure fairness. The definition of fat bastard is based on Body Mass Index which currently states that an adult man of 5,10 height and 15 stone exceeds the BMI of 30 so is morbidly obese........this would include most body builders and athletes who practice such sports as weightlifting/wrestling etc. Also can these groups now legitimately withhold a certain proportion of their national insurance because they are paying for a service that is not serving them. Perhaps the NHS should also now consider withholding care to other risk groups such as Drug Addicts, Homosexuals Gypsies, and maybe extreme sport enthusiast's such as myself who is planning a sex tour of Nigeria in the winter months. I say scrap the NHS completely and lets spunk all the money on Trident, Grouse Moors, the Royal Family and the House of Lords. By the way, wasn't that money going to Brussels everyday going to be spent on the NHS as soon as we pull out...that could be ring fenced surely. Whereabouts in Nigeria are you going for your sex tour ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 6 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Fuck me, this is the gift that keeps on giving. Enjoy the gig, dude! We're actually going to this... I've packed a razor blade. Failing that I'm going to immoliate myself in vodka and die like a Buddhist monk. Fuck this gay earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 2 minutes ago, Punkape said: Whereabouts in Nigeria are you going for your sex tour ? I was thinking of starting in Lagos.....would you like me to pop in and see your mum whilst there.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 4 minutes ago, luke swarm said: I was thinking of starting in Lagos.....would you like me to pop in and see your mum whilst there.? Will you be giving many blow jobs to your Government clients in Lagos ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 2 minutes ago, Punkape said: Will you be give many blow jobs to your Government clients in Lagos ? slow down and control your anger....look at that sentence, its a disgrace, Your mother will hear about this outrage when I see her Pinky. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said: I want to blend it, not go full on fucking native. Do remember to keep us updated on how your bets do. I'm fucking hopeless at the gee gees, so take great pleasure in hearing about other people's losses. Apart from a couple of my bets actually dying, I've had several other farces. One horse I had money on reared up when the tape went up, threw the jockey off and proceeded to piss off in the opposite direction. I once had a fiver on a dog, who on his way to the trap stopped, curled his back and started calfing one out on the track. "Aye, aye", I thought, "This isn't the behaviour of a trained athlete." I couldn't imagine Usain fucking Bolt stopping for a shite during his warm up. The cunt then had to be forced into his trap under duress. You'd think someone so reluctant to go in would fucking fly out. When the race started I swear my dog came out the trap a full four seconds after the others. The useless cunt was probably still wiping his arse. The only real success I've had was at Hexham about five years ago. Going into the last race me and Her were over a hundred quid up. It was a 3 horse race, with the outsider priced at 100 to 1. Thinking our luck was in and the possibility that the other 2 might fall, we stuck a tenner on it. Then we saw our horse. The fucking thing was petrified. Following the other 2 into the parade ring the thick cunt proceeded to walk the wrong way round. As the race started it set off in a diagonal direction, before settling into a pace that I would describe as relaxed. It was a good half a mile behind the other 2 before it literally stopped and just stood there. No fucking wonder the bookie had openly laughed in my face when I handed my cash over. The cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 5 hours ago, Bill Stickers said: Luke, I'm off to Wolverhampton races today for a stag do with a bunch of cunts I don't know. Any advice on how to get through it apart from drinking until I shit myself? I'm truly dreading it. Cut out the middle man. Just stay at home and shit yourself as usual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said: We're actually going to this... I've packed a razor blade. Failing that I'm going to immoliate myself in vodka and die like a Buddhist monk. Fuck this gay earth. This is better: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted September 4, 2016 Report Share Posted September 4, 2016 17 hours ago, luke swarm said: slow down and control your anger....look at that sentence, its a disgrace, Your mother will hear about this outrage when I see her Pinky. lol Have respect for Spunkie. he made his millions by letting a Nigerian goverment official use his bank account to transfer 5 trillion Nigerian Naira out of the country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 4, 2016 Report Share Posted September 4, 2016 On 03/09/2016 at 9:30 AM, Bill Stickers said: Luke, I'm off to Wolverhampton races today for a stag do with a bunch of cunts I don't know. Enough of the serious bollocks, what we're all gagging to know is how Billy Big-Dog got on at the races. Did you back any winners? Were Busted good? Did they do the theme from Thunderbirds? Did you cum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 4, 2016 Report Share Posted September 4, 2016 4 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Enough of the serious bollocks, what we're all gagging to know is how Billy Big-Dog got on at the races. Did you back any winners? Were Busted good? Did they do the theme from Thunderbirds? Did you cum? Busted were shit, but I doubt you needed my confirmation of that. I ended the day £80 up which was nice, but I ended up spaffing it all in the casino afterwards. I look forward to hearing eddie and punkape's fictitious anecdotes about how much they once won betting in the VIP section of some more exclusive race track surrounded by high society. I tried to crack one out in the ibis budget bathroom at the end of the night, but I could just smell the travelling salesmen smell in the air everywhere. It reminded me of Frank and I lost my boner. I think I'm going to nom the entire hotel chain later this week, so keep your horrible beady all seeing little jock eyes peeled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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