Tabbers and Fat Cunts

[Guest luke swarm]

Certain Health authorities have announced that they will withhold NHS surgery from dirty filthy tabbers and fat bastards. This now raises a very interesting debate that if this decision is put into place should the excessive tax on tobacco and sugary shite also be decreased to ensure fairness. The definition of fat bastard is based on Body Mass Index which currently states that an adult man of 5,10 height and 15 stone exceeds the BMI of 30 so is morbidly obese........this would include most body builders and athletes who practice such sports as weightlifting/wrestling etc.

Also can these groups now legitimately withhold a certain proportion of their national insurance because they are paying for a service that is not serving them. Perhaps the NHS should also now consider withholding care to other risk groups such as Drug Addicts, Homosexuals Gypsies, and maybe extreme sport enthusiast's such as myself who is planning a sex tour of Nigeria in the winter months. 

I say scrap the NHS completely and lets spunk all the money on Trident, Grouse Moors, the Royal Family and the House of Lords. By the way, wasn't that money going to Brussels everyday going to be spent on the NHS as soon as we pull out...that could be ring fenced surely.

 

             

[Witheredscrote]

A very good post Swarm, and certainly worthy of long and in depth debate. No humour intended, and I have learnt my lesson. I hope you are well, treat yourself to a cupcake

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Luke, I'm off to Wolverhampton races today for a stag do with a bunch of cunts I don't know. Any advice on how to get through it apart from drinking until I shit myself? I'm truly dreading it. 

 

[Witheredscrote]

1 minute ago, Bill Stickers said:

Luke, I'm off to Wolverhampton races today for a stag do with a bunch of cunts I don't know. Any advice on how to get through it apart from drinking until I shit myself? I'm truly dreading it. 

 

Stag, is that stag as in stag turkey?

[Guest luke swarm]

6 minutes ago, witheredscrote said:

A very good post Swarm, and certainly worthy of long and in depth debate. No humour intended, and I have learnt my lesson. I hope you are well, treat yourself to a cupcake

Morning Withers, I am very well thank you for asking, I trust you enjoyed your break also, no cupcakes I am afraid,,,,,,on Saturdays its a special treat of hot crumpets spread with marmite.    

[Guest Manky]

9 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

 

I say scrap the NHS completely and lets spunk all the money on Trident, Grouse Moors, the Royal Family and the House of Lords.

 

             

Hear hear, except for the House of Lords and Grouse moors 

The body has planned obsolescence built in. We all die. I want to die peacefully in bed, not screaming and scared like the passengers on the bus my dad was driving when he had a heart attack.

[Guest luke swarm]

6 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Luke, I'm off to Wolverhampton races today for a stag do with a bunch of cunts I don't know. Any advice on how to get through it apart from drinking until I shit myself? I'm truly dreading it. 

 

looks like crappy weather to compound your misery I am afraid Stickers.......you made a simple error of judgement in that you accepted this invitation to make merry in the metropolis of Wolverhampton in the first place.......Cannot help you I am afraid, you will have to go with your initial plan but do please stay off the banks bitter, it fools ones bladder into absolute confusion as to what is simple intestinal gas or diarrhoea with disastrous consequences.

A good place to recover is the Kasbah pub (on internet) after a copious amount of beer....an unprepossessing place owned by Punjabis who serve excellent Indian barbeque and curry in a pub environment all day....ideal place to regroup and solidify.     

[Ape™️]

33 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Luke, I'm off to Wolverhampton races today for a stag do with a bunch of cunts I don't know. Any advice on how to get through it apart from drinking until I shit myself? I'm truly dreading it. 

 

What a treat, for the others on the stag, to have a despicable cunt like you with them. It'll be them who drink until they shit, to try and blot you out. Lol.

lol.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

8 minutes ago, Ape said:

What a treat, for the others on the stag, to have a despicable cunt like you with them. It'll be them who drink until they shit, to try and blot you out. Lol.

lol.

You seem jealous. You can take my place if you want? 

[Ape™️]

Just now, Bill Stickers said:

You seem jealous. You can take my place if you want? 

I'll pass - thanks all the same.

[Decimus]

2 hours ago, luke swarm said:

Certain Health authorities have announced that they will withhold NHS surgery from dirty filthy tabbers and fat bastards. This now raises a very interesting debate that if this decision is put into place should the excessive tax on tobacco and sugary shite also be decreased to ensure fairness. The definition of fat bastard is based on Body Mass Index which currently states that an adult man of 5,10 height and 15 stone exceeds the BMI of 30 so is morbidly obese........this would include most body builders and athletes who practice such sports as weightlifting/wrestling etc.

Also can these groups now legitimately withhold a certain proportion of their national insurance because they are paying for a service that is not serving them. Perhaps the NHS should also now consider withholding care to other risk groups such as Drug Addicts, Homosexuals Gypsies, and maybe extreme sport enthusiast's such as myself who is planning a sex tour of Nigeria in the winter months. 

I say scrap the NHS completely and lets spunk all the money on Trident, Grouse Moors, the Royal Family and the House of Lords. By the way, wasn't that money going to Brussels everyday going to be spent on the NHS as soon as we pull out...that could be ring fenced surely.

 

             

BMI is a load of old fucking shit that doesn't take into account differences between fat and muscle mass, or the type of body build. I'm 5'10, and 12 st 8, which apparently makes me overweight, regardless of the fact I've got a 32 inch waist and no gut. Yet according to the BMI chart, I could be 9st 3 and that'd apparently be within the healthy weight range, even though that'd make me look like a Belsen inmate. Weight is not the best indicator of overall health, body fat percentage ratios are far more important.

[Cuntybaws]

2 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

Luke, I'm off to Wolverhampton races today for a stag do with a bunch of cunts I don't know. Any advice on how to get through it apart from drinking until I shit myself? I'm truly dreading it. 

As I suspected, somewhat ambiguous. https://www.monmoredogs.co.uk

[Guest Bill Stickers]

27 minutes ago, Decimus said:

BMI is a load of old fucking shit that doesn't take into account differences between fat and muscle mass, or the type of body build. I'm 5'10, and 12 st 8, which apparently makes me overweight, regardless of the fact I've got a 32 inch waist and no gut. Yet according to the BMI chart, I could be 9st 3 and that'd apparently be within the healthy weight range, even though that'd make me look like a Belsen inmate. Weight is not the best indicator of overall health, body fat percentage ratios are far more important.

Fat cunt. 

[Cuntybaws]

19 minutes ago, Decimus said:

BMI is a load of old fucking shit that doesn't take into account differences between fat and muscle mass, or the type of body build. I'm 5'10, and 12 st 8, which apparently makes me overweight, regardless of the fact I've got a 32 inch waist and no gut. Yet according to the BMI chart, I could be 9st 3 and that'd apparently be within the healthy weight range, even though that'd make me look like a Belsen inmate. Weight is not the best indicator of overall health, body fat percentage ratios are far more important.

Attempts to dress these proposals up in fancy "science" are futile. Let's face it, we all know a fat cunt when we see one, no need for metrics. Besides, surely it's better that fat cunts and smokers pay shitloads of tax and then die relatively young, rather than jog and eat vegetables and hang on to some sort of half-life for decades of dementia care and state pension provision.

That said, give me a shout back once they start discriminating based on IQ rather than BMI. 

[Guest DingTheRioja]

18 minutes ago, Decimus said:

BMI is a load of old fucking shit that doesn't take into account differences between fat and muscle mass, or the type of body build. I'm 5'10, and 12 st 8, which apparently makes me overweight, regardless of the fact I've got a 32 inch waist and no gut. Yet according to the BMI chart, I could be 9st 3 and that'd apparently be within the healthy weight range, even though that'd make me look like a Belsen inmate. Weight is not the best indicator of overall health, body fat percentage ratios are far more important.

You boring fuck.

You're correct, but I still had to say it. 

A proper nutritionist/health specialist would discount the basic BMI numbers if you were built like a brick shit house.  I work with someone who is about 40, she must weigh about 7 stone wet through and is stick thin, any "health specialist indicator" would have her down as half dead.. but she does Iron Man competitions and is currently trying for the (world) Gold standards and will probably get there in the next couple.  No fucking way would/could I do one of the sections of Iron Man, nevermind all 3 together... I'd have a good go at the cycling, but the marathon and swimming can fuck right off!

[Witheredscrote]

3 hours ago, luke swarm said:

Morning Withers, I am very well thank you for asking, I trust you enjoyed your break also, no cupcakes I am afraid,,,,,,on Saturdays its a special treat of hot crumpets spread with marmite.    

Crumpets with marmite, Mmmmmm. Any chance that you can talk a bit about your IT skills on this nom, its only fair on those who find it interesting and want to liven things up a bit. At the moment there is more life in my cock than on CC.

[Guest Ollyboro]

3 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

Luke, I'm off to Wolverhampton races today for a stag do with a bunch of cunts I don't know. Any advice on how to get through it apart from drinking until I shit myself? I'm truly dreading it. 

 

Trying to fit in with a bunch of cunts from Yam Yam Land could prove tricky, if you're hoping to keep any self-respect. If you're not fussed about that I've always found the Oright Skip mob a somewhat unsophisticated audience, so any of the following should have them saying  "Yam a roight gud laff you is, Bill."

1) Shit in a wine glass. 2) Piss in a pint glass and give it to the runt to drink. 3) Push as many 50 pences as you can into your foreskin. 4) Light a fart. 5) Set fire to the runt's hair. 6) Commit a mild sexual assault on a passing waitress. 7) Racially abuse an immigrant. 8) Comment on the horses' cocks.

 

[ratcum]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

BMI is a load of old fucking shit that doesn't take into account differences between fat and muscle mass, or the type of body build. I'm 5'10, and 12 st 8, which apparently makes me overweight, regardless of the fact I've got a 32 inch waist and no gut. Yet according to the BMI chart, I could be 9st 3 and that'd apparently be within the healthy weight range, even though that'd make me look like a Belsen inmate. Weight is not the best indicator of overall health, body fat percentage ratios are far more important.

I like the cut of your jib Deco

[Guest Bill Stickers]

24 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

Trying to fit in with a bunch of cunts from Yam Yam Land could prove tricky, if you're hoping to keep any self-respect. If you're not fussed about that I've always found the Oright Skip mob a somewhat unsophisticated audience, so any of the following should have them saying  "Yam a roight gud laff you is, Bill."

1) Shit in a wine glass. 2) Piss in a pint glass and give it to the runt to drink. 3) Push as many 50 pences as you can into your foreskin. 4) Light a fart. 5) Set fire to the runt's hair. 6) Commit a mild sexual assault on a passing waitress. 7) Racially abuse an immigrant. 8) Comment on the horses' cocks.

I want to blend it, not go full on fucking native. 

[Cuntybaws]

26 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

Trying to fit in with a bunch of cunts from Yam Yam Land could prove tricky, if you're hoping to keep any self-respect. If you're not fussed about that I've always found the Oright Skip mob a somewhat unsophisticated audience, so any of the following should have them saying  "Yam a roight gud laff you is, Bill."

1) Shit in a wine glass. 2) Piss in a pint glass and give it to the runt to drink. 3) Push as many 50 pences as you can into your foreskin. 4) Light a fart. 5) Set fire to the runt's hair. 6) Commit a mild sexual assault on a passing waitress. 7) Racially abuse an immigrant. 8) Comment on the horses' cocks.

1) Rioja? 2) Bill IS the runt. 3) This is a trap, right? 4) He's not allowed matches. 5) See 2). 6) Waiter, maybe. 7) He was quite rude to me earlier, does that count? 8) Mmm, tasty.

[ratcum]

Joking aside, there are too many tubs whichever you slice it. Even if we halve the official figure, we're still looking at 7 million people. That's 7 million greedy cunts with some degree of mental weakness and self inflicted incapacity. They can't all go into porn or pies, so what's to be done with the porkers?

[Cuntybaws]

1 minute ago, mothra said:

Joking aside, there are too many tubs whichever you slice it. Even if we halve the official figure, we're still looking at 7 million people. That's 7 million greedy cunts with some degree of mental weakness and self inflicted incapacity. They can't all go into porn or pies, so what's to be done with the porkers?

Given current supply side issues arising from the geopolitical instability in Ukraine, is it still economically viable to gas their arses?

[ratcum]

11 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

is it still economically viable to gas their arses?

No, but I think you might have inadvertently stumbled on a solution CB. Burn their blimby arses instead of coal or gas at power stations! All the historic fringe benefits would still apply: soap, cooking fat, tallow, pre-stretched jeans, comedy etc. Plus, we don't have to rely on Johnny Ukraine in the future. Fucking result dude!!

[ratcum]

Pavements won't need repairing so often, I'll be less vexed when I'm walking about town, my toast won't be stolen from those conveyor toasters in the hotel. I'm quite excited.

[Cuntybaws]

4 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

Luke, I'm off to Wolverhampton races today for a stag do with a bunch of cunts I don't know. 

Fuck me, this is the gift that keeps on giving. Enjoy the gig, dude!