Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 Pen, is this a disguised attempt to resurrect the topic of displaying ones daily achievements? Or, are you digging for tips on passing yesterday's carb heavy supper in a subtle manner? I suggest more leafy greens a stool softener and a good laxative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest I know that Cunt Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 5 hours ago, Manky said: So you think WC stands for 'water closet'. I have it on authority that it actually stands for 'waste chocolate'. In Berlin in 1945, Siberian troops used Mr Crappers finest invention to wash potatoes as they were used to shitting in the woods. They also took lightbulbs home to light up their huts even though they were off grid. Manky I think you have made the common mistake of mixing this story up with another similar legend. They weren't Siberian troops, they were from the Second brigade of the Welsh Horseless Cavalry, commonly know as Taffy's Unmentionables. These were the cream of the Welsh cretinhood that were ordered to dig latrines for the advancing British troops. They were quite successful once someone had explained what a toilet was actually for. But there were reports that like most Welsh twats, there cretinhood was so well developed that as the pits were filling with nice juicy turds, the Taffy's mistook them for potatoes and tucked in. According to Lord LLanbrtllwhyredg, who wrote about it after the war, these fuckers were so dumb that they could neither follow orders or think for themselves. In fact in their first and only battle they couldn't see the hun and became so confused they started shooting each other. After this, the survivors were sent home to breed, while the relatively intelligent stayed at the front and died. This is the main reason why the fucking welsh are such thick and stupid cunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 20 minutes ago, I know that Cunt said: Manky I think you have made the common mistake of mixing this story up with another similar legend. They weren't Siberian troops, they were from the Second brigade of the Welsh Horseless Cavalry, commonly know as Taffy's Unmentionables. These were the cream of the Welsh cretinhood that were ordered to dig latrines for the advancing British troops. They were quite successful once someone had explained what a toilet was actually for. But there were reports that like most Welsh twats, there cretinhood was so well developed that as the pits were filling with nice juicy turds, the Taffy's mistook them for potatoes and tucked in. According to Lord LLanbrtllwhyredg, who wrote about it after the war, these fuckers were so dumb that they could neither follow orders or think for themselves. In fact in their first and only battle they couldn't see the hun and became so confused they started shooting each other. After this, the survivors were sent home to breed, while the relatively intelligent stayed at the front and died. This is the main reason why the fucking welsh are such thick and stupid cunts My mistake. Lack of attention to detail led me to construct a sentence about stupidity but not mentioning the Welsh. My writing career is in ruins. I cannot apologise enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 6 minutes ago, Manky said: My mistake. Lack of attention to detail led me to construct a sentence about stupidity but not mentioning the Welsh. My writing career is in ruins. I cannot apologise enough. To be fair, you probably thought it was a given that the Welsh were included... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 9 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: To be fair, you probably thought it was a given that the Welsh were included... I can't use that as a defence. The Welsh won't realise that they are included unless it is there in black and white. I have no choice but to throw myself on my Schaeffer gold nibbed biro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 1 minute ago, Manky said: I can't use that as a defence. The Welsh won't realise that they are included unless it is there in black and white. I have no choice but to throw myself on my Schaeffer gold nibbed biro. You're presuming they can read? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 2 hours ago, Bubba C said: Hi punky I haven't said this for a while, but it doesn't mean I haven't thought it, kill yourself, you stupid little fucking cunt. Did you know that the French essayist Camus once said, "There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide". What is lesser known is that he qualified the statement on his deathbed saying, "except PunkApe, he's a stupid cunt and needs to die quickly". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 20 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: You're presuming they can read? Or they have access to RSRTTWC, the Royal Society for Reading To Thick Welsh Cunts. A charity set up mainly to read unemployment forms and Disability claims forms to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 18 minutes ago, Manky said: Or they have access to RSRTTWC, the Royal Society for Reading To Thick Welsh Cunts. A charity set up mainly to read unemployment forms and Disability claims forms to them. Someone needs to sort out the DNA forms for them as well while they're at it then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said: Did you know that the French essayist Camus once said, "There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide". What is lesser known is that he qualified the statement on his deathbed saying, "except PunkApe, he's a stupid cunt and needs to die quickly". The like is for the emphasis through use of enlarged font, Bill. If that doesn't convince him to top himself, we are fucked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 6 hours ago, witheredscrote said: It is truly refreshing when a member posts a thought provoking and witty response to a nom. Why is it never you? Sorry Scrotes you fucking predictably boring Frog, this post was meant for the FaecesBook nom. Where the fuck were you on Bastille day? My bearded muzzy assassin appeared to have took a wrong turn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 1 minute ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Sorry Scrotes you fucking predictably boring Frog, this post was meant for the FaecesBook nom. Where the fuck were you on Bastille day? My bearded muzzy assassin appeared to have took a wrong turn. I was hanging on the back of the lorry, safest place. Sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 1 minute ago, witheredscrote said: I was hanging on the back of the lorry, safest place. Sorry You meant hanging out the back of Larry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 Just now, witheredscrote said: I was hanging on the back of the lorry, safest place. Sorry Just like every other fucker coming over from France at the moment. Have our bricks and mortar arrived in Calais yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 1 minute ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Just like every other fucker coming over from France at the moment. Have our bricks and mortar arrived in Calais yet? Wouldn't know, I don't live in France anymore. I now reside in the most tranquil of England's counties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 1 minute ago, witheredscrote said: Wouldn't know, I don't live in France anymore. I now reside in the most tranquil of England's counties. I wouldn't have voted for Brexit if it meant you were coming back. Fuck off or I'll set the top (porch) dog on you. Stickers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 Back on topic, sort of. I make it my personal goal to see if I can form jobs that take more than one flush to evacuate the bowl around the bend. A particularly hard life long target was to extract a log that made contact with water whilst still being extruded from between my cheeks. I am pleased to report this has been achieved. Can anyone better this? This is easier to achieve without an overstretched ring so don't even bother trying Punky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 17 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: Wouldn't know, I don't live in France anymore. I now reside in the most tranquil of England's counties. Cheshire perchance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 11 minutes ago, Piston said: Cheshire perchance? How the fuck can Cheshire be tranquil with all those gay golfers roaring around in pink Range Rovers. Stupid cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 5 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: How the fuck can Cheshire be tranquil with all those gay golfers roaring around in pink Range Rovers. Stupid cunt It's so you. Back into the old routine, you and Punkers and a set of irons. Don't fight it. Chacun a son gout! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 51 minutes ago, witheredscrote said: Wouldn't know, I don't live in France anymore. I now reside in the most tranquil of England's counties. Fuck me, you live in Hunstanton, don't you? My cousin's hen house was absolutely decimated last weekend. She put it down to Foxes, but couldn't explain why the walls were smeared in cum and stank of Boursin. You dirty, French cunt. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 26 minutes ago, Decimus said: Fuck me, you live in Hunstanton, don't you? My cousin's hen house was absolutely decimated last weekend. She put it down to Foxes, but couldn't explain why the walls were smeared in cum and stank of Boursin. You dirty, French cunt. I have never heard a girls fanny referred to as her "hen house" but each to their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 11 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: I have never heard a girls fanny referred to as her "hen house" but each to their own. Drew, my bald, bungalow, bedevilled bastard. I imagine that there are a lot of things that you don't hear without the aid of your absolutely fucking massive ear trumpet. Shove your rich tea biscuits up your arse, you decrepit, old cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 12 hours ago, Decimus said: Drew, my bald, bungalow, bedevilled bastard. I imagine that there are a lot of things that you don't hear without the aid of your absolutely fucking massive ear trumpet. Shove your rich tea biscuits up your arse, you decrepit, old cunt. Early bird special eating cunt. I hope he chokes on his false teeth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 These are fitted in houses that constantly smell of shit and piss.... Mine does anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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