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Lunar Travel


Guest 'eavensabove

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Guest 'eavensabove

Each to their own, but todays news that Lunar Travel will be rocketing tourists to the Moon and back by next fucking year, makes me laugh. Not content with the effects of tourism is having on this planet, Lunar Travel wanna fuck-up the atmosphere completely too. Watching the CAD footage of the landing back to Earth alone makes the idea a one-way ticket on a suicide mission, and so with that in mind, I have had the common decency at least to purchase F***k a ticket. On a more serious note, I cannot see any value to these trips at all. I'd rather have a leisurely afternoon in Bognor and one of those coastal pie things with sand in the fucker. Space food sucks.

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I am a bit of an expert on space travel, studying at the prestigious school of Gerry and Sylvia Anderson. John Tracy has the record for days in space on Thunderbird 5 with his brother Alan having the record for launches. This is true because I saw it on telly. The fake film of the Apollo landings was grainy and not even in colour and was probably filmed in Decs underpants.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

so fucking what. I remember reading a story once about a cow being able to jump over the moon. My advice would be to learn to ride a cow.

Some punters probably think they do this already when they look at their missus.

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1 hour ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

so fucking what. I remember reading a story once about a cow being able to jump over the moon. My advice would be to learn to ride a cow.

Some punters probably think they do this already when they look at their missus.

We should send Cherie Blair on the first one, just to prove a cow can jump over the moon.

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12 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

If I bought a ticket and discovered one of my fellow passengers was Richard Branson, I'd be trying to get shot of it knowing his history of fuck ups. 

I don't think he'd be ecstatic about being locked in a confined space with you, either. 

I hope it's Bono out of U2 that's going, and Sting out of Trudie Styler. And I hope the whole fucking thing runs out of diesel and crashes into the ISS. That'd teach that smug cunt Tim Peake.

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12 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

I don't think he'd be ecstatic about being locked in a confined space with you, either. 

I hope it's Bono out of U2 that's going, and Sting out of Trudie Styler. And I hope the whole fucking thing runs out of diesel and crashes into the ISS. That'd teach that smug cunt Tim Peake.

We could load it up with ISIS and send it to the ISS.

I don't really know where I'm going with this.

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Guest 'eavensabove
1 minute ago, Snatch said:

We could load it up with ISIS and send it to the ISS.

I don't really know where I'm going with this.

Best you don't pilot the first launch then (smile)

I doubt if the Astronautical cunt knows either, but if my window is anything to go by, it's kind of UP and OVER to the right a bit, which seems simple enough 'less there's only Half a Moon when they blast-off, in which case they'll head to some other universe.

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Guest 'eavensabove
5 minutes ago, Manky said:

I often used to say I would like to be shot into space. My dad always said that if he had his time again, I would have been.

A complete waste of space too, I'd warrant.

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3 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Best you don't pilot the first launch then (smile)

I doubt if the Astronautical cunt knows either, but if my window is anything to go by, it's kind of UP and OVER to the right a bit, which seems simple enough 'less there's only Half a Moon when they blast-off, in which case they'll head to some other universe.

I'm out of likes so I'll owe you one.

See,I'm not biased.

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Guest Mingeeta
1 hour ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

I don't think he'd be ecstatic about being locked in a confined space with you, either. 

I hope it's Bono out of U2 that's going, and Sting out of Trudie Styler. And I hope the whole fucking thing runs out of diesel and crashes into the ISS. That'd teach that smug cunt Tim Peake.

And hopefully a place saved for harry styles and that ginger fluffy faced bozzy eyed prick Sheeran. I will buy his ticket myself.

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3 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Unfunny comment from Pen about Christa McAuliffe in 5-4-3-2-1...

I'll save her the trouble.....we knew Christa washed her hair that morning because we found her head and shoulders on the beach.......what's an astronauts favourite drink? Seven up with a dash of teachers. Etc' etc'.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I'll save her the trouble.....we knew Christa washed her hair that morning because we found her head and shoulders on the beach.......what's an astronauts favourite drink? Seven up with a dash of teachers. Etc' etc'.

Damaged O rings were offered as the reason the shuttle was destroyed.  Where was Punkape back then?  

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Guest DingTheRioja
6 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

We should send Cherie Blair on the first one, just to prove a cow can jump over the moon.

That husband of hers has a grin the size of a new moon,...

2 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Damaged O rings were offered as the reason the shuttle was destroyed.  Where was Punkape back then?  

On his annual pilgrimmage to see the Fantasia castle and steal Snow Whites dress, he likes short men...

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3 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

That husband of hers has a grin the size of a new moon,...

On his annual pilgrimmage to see the Fantasia castle and steal Snow Whites dress, he likes short men...

Blairs' grin must be the result of strong drugs, prescribed to counteract the depression and despair caused by having to wake up and see Cheries coal scuttle gob and cellulite raddled carcass every morning. Either that or he has Paul McKenna round every day to blank out the memory.

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Guest DingTheRioja
3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Blairs' grin must be the result of strong drugs, prescribed to counteract the depression and despair caused by having to wake up and see Cheries coal scuttle gob and cellulite raddled carcass every morning. Either that or he has Paul McKenna round every day to blank out the memory.

I'd blank his memory out for him, I'm sure I wouldnt be the first in the queue to offer my services for that "assistance"...

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