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Crufts


Guest Tata Steely Dan

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Guest Tata Steely Dan

Obese women and sexually ambiguous men, playing a game of who will blink first with canine genetics. With the proliferation of cheap sex toys you would think this nonsense would die out, but for some reason we still get to watch frumpy women and their weak, pathetic husbands waddle around after some dreadfully inbred pooch; most likely the only one from the litter of eight born without holes in its heart or the back legs totally missing. I see the BBC won't touch it any more, which is saying something! Clare Balding doesn't seem to have ever recognised any such moral quandary, and followed the money (like a bloodhound, LOLOLOL). You just know those dogs had any lingering vestige of soul beaten out of them by a horrible woman with a moustache.

 

Crufts isn't about dogs, its about people with too much money rolling the genetic dice for dogs and then seeking fame and fortune when they hit a double six. Weirdo eugenics hobbyist cunts.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan

I see that the Iraq Historic Abuse inquiry has called it a day. On an unrelated note this is the first episode of Crufts I've seen recently where we've not been shown a sob story of some ex-Squaddie whose rescue dog saved him from the depths of posttraumatic stress disorder. Correlation?

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
Just now, I know that Cunt said:

My objection is that it fucks the M42 up for a week or more. Why cant they hold it where no-one needs to go like Cardiff?

Not enough poo bags.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
Just now, Cuntybaws said:

What really gets me about the whole dog show cuntfest is the names of the dogs. I mean, what sort of total fucking loser calls their dog “Fabulous Willy”?

5xBIscN.png

You say that, but to some weirdo dog breeding cunt "Burneze Geordie Girl" probably tells them all they need to know about the pedigree, and the dog is probably called Mutley back home.

 

Do the honourable thing and buy all your dogs from a Romanian dude, out the back of a van parked up in a lay-by.

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Guest I know that Cunt

I just googled woman trains dog videos and was quite surprised at the lengths they go to. The woman even gave her dog some socks to wear, how's that for animal welfare?

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3 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Do the honourable thing and buy all your dogs from a Romanian dude, out the back of a van parked up in a lay-by.

It would feel wrong to get my dogs from the same place where I get my girls.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said:

It would feel wrong to get my dogs from the same place where I get my girls.

Never smart to mix business with pleasure. 

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1 hour ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Obese women and sexually ambiguous men, playing a game of who will blink first with canine genetics. With the proliferation of cheap sex toys you would think this nonsense would die out, but for some reason we still get to watch frumpy women and their weak, pathetic husbands waddle around after some dreadfully inbred pooch; most likely the only one from the litter of eight born without holes in its heart or the back legs totally missing. I see the BBC won't touch it any more, which is saying something! Clare Balding doesn't seem to have ever recognised any such moral quandary, and followed the money (like a bloodhound, LOLOLOL). You just know those dogs had any lingering vestige of soul beaten out of them by a horrible woman with a moustache.

 

Crufts isn't about dogs, its about people with too much money rolling the genetic dice for dogs and then seeking fame and fortune when they hit a double six. Weirdo eugenics hobbyist cunts.

What a refreshing change it makes to see you writing in English, and temporarily off the cheap, blended 8% paint-stripper. While I'm embarrassed for your typically shit prose, such a worthy nomination deserves a solid like.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
1 minute ago, Wolfie said:

What a refreshing change it makes to see you writing in English, and temporarily off the cheap, blended 8% paint-stripper. While I'm embarrassed for your typically shit prose, such a worthy nomination deserves a solid like.

Edinburgh Scots is the most overlooked of the Scots dialects. People care more about what three teuchters speak on the Isle of Barra than the admittedly far more prosaic patois of Pilton. 

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Just now, Tata Steely Dan said:

Edinburgh Scots is the most overlooked of the Scots dialects. People care more about what three teuchters speak on the Isle of Barra than the admittedly far more prosaic patois of Pilton. 

That's because Edinburgh Scots can only point, grunt, and curse. At least that's what I could figure out from the two thankfully short days I've ever spent in the absolute shit-hole of a city.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan

They keep talking about Black and Tans on Crufts. I admit that some of these dogs are pretty smart, but suggesting that they would drive an armoured car around Croke Park while indiscriminately firing into the crowd is going a bit far.

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Guest I know that Cunt
1 minute ago, Wolfie said:

Don't be silly. Surely you can weave in and out of the traffic on your new Harley.

Not in March, way too cold. The sun has to be melting the tarmac before that one comes out of the garage.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
12 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Fascinating.

Quiet now, If you don't win the Best in Breed this time round you're going on holiday to a farm, like your brothers and sisters all did.

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Guest DingTheRioja
2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

What really gets me about the whole dog show cuntfest is the names of the dogs. I mean, what sort of total fucking loser calls their dog “Fabulous Willy”?

5xBIscN.png

That's not the most worrying name there...

2 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

You say that, but to some weirdo dog breeding cunt "Burneze Geordie Girl" probably tells them all they need to know about the pedigree, and the dog is probably called Mutley back home.

Just how do they "breed" a dog with a name like that.... I've known a few geordie lasses who were dogs, but none were actual dogs...

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