Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 5 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: Fuck, I didn't know that. For years I have been shoving the bottle up my nose to no avail. Frank was putting Pepsi Max up his back end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 4 hours ago, Rev said: To be fair, all fat cunts should really be publicly executed if they exceed a maximum of 15 stone, or a 40inch waist. Think of the savings to be made by the NHS and the Welfare system alone. Better still, they should only be allowed to breed if they're in gainful employment, euthanised if they aren't and turned into fucking asphalt on a live TV feed if they break this rule. The fat fucking sponging, wolf-howling-at-the-moon fleece-wearing, aluminium dole-stick sporting, spack-chariot-driving behemoth bastards. I want them dead. Be careful Rev there are photos of you out there and you look a little bit plump. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 26 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said: 'Skinny' food is for poofs. I eat lard, me, and I never have a problem shitting. I have a cousin who fries chips in lard and when it's cooled down sufficiently she dips a cup into the pan and drinks it. I know, I wouldn't have believed it myself either if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. She said, "Eee I reyt lark this, me, its reyt narse." Humongously fat cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 6 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: I have a cousin who fries chips in lard and when it's cooled down sufficiently she dips a cup into the pan and drinks it. I know, I wouldn't have believed it myself either if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. She said, "Eee I reyt lark this, me, its reyt narse." Humongously fat cunt. So she's not Lardy Dah posh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 2, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 5 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: I have a cousin who fries chips in lard and when it's cooled down sufficiently she dips a cup into the pan and drinks it. I know, I wouldn't have believed it myself either if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. She said, "Eee I reyt lark this, me, its reyt narse." Humongously fat cunt. Humongously stupid fat cunt, I'd say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 4 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: I have a cousin who fries chips in lard and when it's cooled down sufficiently she dips a cup into the pan and drinks it. I know, I wouldn't have believed it myself either if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. She said, "Eee I reyt lark this, me, its reyt narse." Humongously fat cunt. There were severe landslides in Colombia last night. You might want to go and check on her, even if it is just to make a fuck load of money refining her into soap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 2 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: So she's not Lardy Dah posh. I'm sure she's relatively well off if she can afford such a diet. Probably just doesn't like to lard it over people... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 2 minutes ago, Roadkill said: There were severe landslides in Colombia last night. You might want to go and check on her, even if it is just to make a fuck load of money refining her into soap. The first rule of fat club is.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: The first rule of fat club is.... Getting off sofa Panzerknacker 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: The first rule of fat club is.... Don't talk about Fat Club. Stay at home and eat pizza and lasagne instead. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 25 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: Frank was putting Pepsi Max up his back end. The resulting pressure would explain some of the rancid shit that came out of his mouth... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 2, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 31 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: Frank was putting Pepsi Max up his back end. And you still wish it was your back end he was putting it up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 5 hours ago, Rev said: To be fair, all fat cunts should really be publicly executed if they exceed a maximum of 15 stone, or a 40inch waist. Think of the savings to be made by the NHS and the Welfare system alone. Better still, they should only be allowed to breed if they're in gainful employment, euthanised if they aren't and turned into fucking asphalt on a live TV feed if they break this rule. The fat fucking sponging, wolf-howling-at-the-moon fleece-wearing, aluminium dole-stick sporting, spack-chariot-driving behemoth bastards. I want them dead. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Rev; You stagger into a pub, pissed as a cunt, incapable of speech and brandishing a chainsaw, the landlord -by law- has got to tell you to fuck off. You're not allowed to serve booze to a pissed cunt, so why is it alright for somecunt in a Greggs uniform to serve a waddling shambles cake. Anycunt with three fucking chins wheezing their way into a pie shop should have their BMI checked at the door, then kicked right in the cunt and told to fuck off if they exceed the legal limit. Public humiliation is the only language these lard banks understand. Alton fucking Towers have the right idea. A few years ago me and Her queued up like a pair of cunts for one of the rides. After half an hour the fat cunt in front of us was asked to get off the ride because they couldn't get the safety guard over his immense gut. To everybody's great pleasure Tubs had to shuffle off past all the other cunts in the queue, head down and heading for a hotdog no doubt. Personally I'd have thrown the cunt off the top, but it would have been against his human rights, or something. Hard fucking Brexit means we can start executing these blubbery bastards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 2, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 1 minute ago, Ollyboro said: I've said it before and I'll say it again, Rev; You stagger into a pub, pissed as a cunt, incapable of speech and brandishing a chainsaw, the landlord -by law- has got to tell you to fuck off. You're not allowed to serve booze to a pissed cunt, so why is it alright for somecunt in a Greggs uniform to serve a waddling shambles cake. Anycunt with three fucking chins wheezing their way into a pie shop should have their BMI checked at the door, then kicked right in the cunt and told to fuck off if they exceed the legal limit. Public humiliation is the only language these lard banks understand. Alton fucking Towers have the right idea. A few years ago me and Her queued up like a pair of cunts for one of the rides. After half an hour the fat cunt in front of us was asked to get off the ride because they couldn't get the safety guard over his immense gut. To everybody's great pleasure Tubs had to shuffle off past all the other cunts in the queue, head down and heading for a hotdog no doubt. Personally I'd have thrown the cunt off the top, but it would have been against his human rights, or something. Hard fucking Brexit means we can start executing these blubbery bastards. I've often thought that fat cunts wishing to travel by air should be strapped to pallets and treated as freight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 (edited) 13 minutes ago, Ape said: I've often thought that fat cunts wishing to travel by air should be strapped to pallets and treated as freight. I'll tell you one fucking thing, mate, their weight should not entitle them to a fucking electric wheelchair. Or if they do get one it should be speed restricted to 1mph. Why should a fat cunt be allowed to get from A to B faster than a taxpayer who hasn't gorged his health away? It's fucking heartbreaking when one of these wheelchair walruses beat you into Greggs and snaffle the last 6 chocolate muffins. Cunts. Edited April 2, 2017 by Ollyboro Ivor Hardon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 2 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said: 'Skinny' food is for poofs. I eat lard, me, and I never have a problem shitting. Shitting is never a problem. For a fat fucking cunt like you, the problem arises in renting a crane with the capacity to lift you out ot the bed you messed and turning the fire hose on you to so you get at least one bath per month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 6 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Shitting is never a problem. For a fat fucking cunt like you, the problem arises in renting a crane with the capacity to lift you out ot the bed you messed and turning the fire hose on you to so you get at least one bath per month. I'm not sure if it's true or an urban myth, but there's a story that an extremely obese cunt was trying to take a shit on an aeroplane at the time the lavs were being vacuum emptied by pump, on take off or something. The fat had formed an airtight seal around the top of the pan and the fatties colon and lower intestine were sucked out of their arsehole. As I say, not sure if it's true. But some bloke was really killed by a frozen block of shit and piss that fell from an airliner once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted April 4, 2017 Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 On 4/2/2017 at 7:20 PM, Eric Cuntman said: I'm not sure if it's true or an urban myth, but there's a story that an extremely obese cunt was trying to take a shit on an aeroplane at the time the lavs were being vacuum emptied by pump, on take off or something. The fat had formed an airtight seal around the top of the pan and the fatties colon and lower intestine were sucked out of their arsehole. As I say, not sure if it's true. But some bloke was really killed by a frozen block of shit and piss that fell from an airliner once. Now they empty tanks before take off and after landing. The soft environmental cunts forget that human waste is biodegradable does no harm. As for the fat cunt having the permanent brand of lipo, I can think of a few tuskers I'd like to test the theory with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 4, 2017 Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 On 02/04/2017 at 11:00 PM, Ape said: Humongously stupid fat cunt, I'd say. Of course you would, because you are a boring wanker. Fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 4, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 32 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Of course you would, because you are a boring wanker. Fuck off Another amazing post from our resident turd. Tell me, have you nothing better to do with your pathetic French life than to trawl threads looking for comments you can add your hilarious little remarks to? Wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 4, 2017 Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 3 hours ago, Ape said: Another amazing post from our resident turd. Tell me, have you nothing better to do with your pathetic French life than to trawl threads looking for comments you can add your hilarious little remarks to? Wanker. No Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.