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Speed Humps.


Guest 'eavensabove

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1 hour ago, Snatch said:

Eric and I are ok and Jazz has me blocked apparently. 

 

And I've never grassed anybody either! Where the mad French cunt gets all this shit from is a mystery. He's either in love with Bubs and jealous of anyone who talks to him, or he's going through Le Menopause. 

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6 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

Speed Humps, are the curse of the highway. In all shapes & sizes they clog-up our roads and achieve naff-all save for fucking up our motors and taking away the joy of driving. Whichever bright-sparked cunt came up with these poxy things, should be buried in one. Now, there's a thought: Why are they not used as burial mounds for cyclists & pedestrians? 

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These plastic ones cave in if you hit them hard enough, just grab a banger from the local scrap yard and rag it up and down for a bit, great fun.

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Guest 'eavensabove
2 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

These plastic ones cave in if you hit them hard enough, just grab a banger from the local scrap yard and rag it up and down for a bit, great fun.

Now, that's something I may just give a try. I've tried the mowed-down 'Fox N' Pheasant'  atop of many a hump, and am a dab-hand at decoupage in the dark, but smearing the humps with chipolata's could cause quite a dramatic effect. 

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Guest 'eavensabove

Perhaps if they were to make the humps concave indentations rather than above-the-ground eyesores, would be plausible, whilst also having the same desired affect?  Humps, give one the hump, but ditches? I'm not too sure. 

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4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You miss that 'Death Proofed' Proton, I can tell you do.

That movie was a very important insight into feminist culture. They crash into poor innocent Kurt Russell then act like it's all his fault. Guess that's what he gets for being a white male, eh?

 

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7 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

That movie was a very important insight into feminist culture. They crash into poor innocent Kurt Russell then act like it's all his fault. Guess that's what he gets for being a white male, eh?

 

All those women were irritating cunts and I spent the whole film rooting for Snake Plissken, they were the worst kind of empowered, bring it on girl power type cunts imaginable. I like Tarantinos style of film making and his dialogue is brilliant, but he does shamelessly kiss the arses of the perceived 'oppressed minorities in every film he's made since Kill Bill. No doubt his next project will be an adaptation of Bravo Two Zero, showing the poor Iraqis being persecuted and finally triumphing over the evil SAS cunts in an ironic and amusing manner.

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2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

All those women were irritating cunts and I spent the whole film rooting for Snake Plissken, they were the worst kind of empowered, bring it on girl power type cunts imaginable. I like Tarantinos style of film making and his dialogue is brilliant, but he does shamelessly kiss the arses of the perceived 'oppressed minorities in every film he's made since Kill Bill. No doubt his next project will be an adaptation of Bravo Two Zero, showing the poor Iraqis being persecuted and finally triumphing over the evil SAS cunts in an ironic and amusing manner.

It wasn't one of Tarantino's best but I think Russell played the cowardly woman hating phyco brilliantly and the car chases were spot on. It was nice to see the Charger used in a role other than Dukes of fucking Hazzard for once, it's my favourite Dodge. The Challenger is way too overused in my opinion.

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6 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

It wasn't one of Tarantino's best but I think Russell played the cowardly woman hating phyco brilliantly and the car chases were spot on. It was nice to see the Charger used in a role other than Dukes of fucking Hazzard for once, it's my favourite Dodge. The Challenger is way too overused in my opinion.

Oh, by the way, apparently our long term romance is over, Withers has decided that I'm now in a love tryst with Bubba and 'Eavens. Hope you're not too hurt, sorry babes. *turns slowly and weeps* 

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Guest Spanky
5 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Let's assume for one moment that this table is a crowded shopping street on a Saturday afternoon. And this meringue, filled with whipped cream, is a young mother weighed down with groceries. And this juicy, over-ripe tomato is a tiny little girl, who doesn't know what a dangerous place her exciting new world is. And let's assume that this cling-film parcel, of mashed banana and jam is a deaf senior citizen, who is in a wheelchair, and is blind. And this cricket bat, with a breeze-block nailed to it, is your car. Now what happens when your car mounts the pavement?

Think once. Think twice. Think DON'T DRIVE YOUR CAR ON THE PAVEMENT.

That shit blew my tiny mind when I first saw it. It looked just like a negative reality inversion.

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Guest 'eavensabove
2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Oh, by the way, apparently our long term romance is over, Withers has decided that I'm now in a love tryst with Bubba and 'Eavens. Hope you're not too hurt, sorry babes. *turns slowly and weeps* 

What! You with Bubbsy too? You two timin' twicer you. I'm keeping the CD's, Cuntming.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said:

Perhaps if they were to make the humps concave indentations rather than above-the-ground eyesores, would be plausible, whilst also having the same desired affect?  Humps, give one the hump, but ditches? I'm not too sure. 

Ditches? No, but Dykes, then you may be onto something. Especially a couple of horny ones partaking in some yat on yat action. It would make me slow down anyhow.

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2 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

Ditches? No, but Dykes, then you may be onto something. Especially a couple of horny ones partaking in some yat on yat action. It would make me slow down anyhow.

I knew you wouldn't disappoint, there's a new kid on the block when it comes to poetic romanticism. Byron, Shelley, Pissflaps.

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Guest 'eavensabove
11 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

Ditches? No, but Dykes, then you may be onto something. Especially a couple of horny ones partaking in some yat on yat action. It would make me slow down anyhow.

What a fabulous idea. It would be worth a gamble parking-up and laying face up in one, fingers crossed and hoping for the best... Toads, would also feel safer crossing the roads to their mating grounds. 

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Guest Lady Penelope
6 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

You mentioned big bore. Have you noticed that Bubba is back, he has already called me an idiot, and  told me to fuck off. He is original if nothing else.

Bubba is right about you too.

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Guest Spanky
2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

What! You with Bubbsy too? You two timin' twicer you. I'm keeping the CD's, Cuntming.

 

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Keep the fucking CD's, I don't like Tom Jones or Charlotte Church, bitchmonkey.

It's CDs you cunts!

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