Jiggerycock Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 You buy anything these days - bullets, condoms, Vaseline the usual everyday 'non-hierarchy of needs' stuff - and guaranteed two days later you'll get some pissy little entreaty to fill out a survey '...to let us know how we've done'. Unfortunately, it's usually fixed-fields, multiple choice questions rather than a free text option. A pity, since you so desperately wish to vent spleen in the creative manner a seasoned CC Warrior might deliver, to these time-stealing I-don't-know-whats. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 2 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: A pity, since you so desperately wish to vent spleen in the creative manner a seasoned CC Warrior might deliver, to these time-stealing I-don't-know-whats. There's a "thing" whereby people (some of whom are definitely cunts) leave highly-creative humorous product reviews on Amazon and elsewhere. Google them yourselves, you lazy cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 6, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 24 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: There's a "thing" whereby people (some of whom are definitely cunts) leave highly-creative humorous product reviews on Amazon and elsewhere. Google them yourselves, you lazy cunts. Oh I know what you mean and I absolutely exonerate the likes of Trip Advisor etc. from this nom, since they allow for the full majesty of the invective you wish to bestow upon the 'reviewed'. So you can really go to town on, say, The Tate Modern, viz: "My family and I visited this monument to collective delusion early in January and I really did try to keep an open mind However, 'Some men you just can't reach. So you get what I had here'. There's the installations, which are by rote, laughable (Exhibit A: monochrome paintings. Have a guess what that involves? A single colour on a canvas you say? Correct! Go to matron for an extra bit of tuck!), simplistic, worthless and ultimately, annoying. But this pales into insignificance when one reads the blurb accompanying them. Open the thesaurus at 'pretentious' and keep reading!"Achromes were intended to banish narrative content from his work and explore the concept of ‘nothingness’" "This tension may be embodied in a coiled energy, or emerge from a careful process of accumulation" " The concern was with an existential ‘being in the world’, a heightened awareness of the separateness of experience. This sense of isolation implied a questioning of the wider community. In the highly polarised atmosphere of the Cold War, it was a potentially subversive threat to social cohesion"I understand what these words mean - just not the way they bump up against each other used in the way they are above. Yet millions of pounds are spent indulging the purveyors of this tripe and one is made to feel so pathetically 'outside' the inner circle of chin-stroking imbeciles that get off on this collective delusional deception that all of this has any value and meaning. The 'artists' would probably enjoy the fact the only emotion I felt after two hours exposure to their body of work, was intense burning anger. As a postscript, my family and I walked over the Millennium Bridge to St Pauls Cathedral. There was a service on and, as you may have gathered, I know squat about religion. However, sitting there, listing to the choir and the organ, gazing up into the beautiful dome and the representations that real artists had created to their notion of a greater glory, I would go with this 'art' in a heartbeat over the offal on display a mile away on the South Bank. This review gets one 'Trip Advisor Dot' because it's not possible to give a zero - now that would be a worthwhile exploration of the concept of 'nothingness'." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 3 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: You buy anything these days - bullets, condoms, Vaseline the usual everyday 'non-hierarchy of needs' stuff - and guaranteed two days later you'll get some pissy little entreaty to fill out a survey '...to let us know how we've done'. Unfortunately, it's usually fixed-fields, multiple choice questions rather than a free text option. A pity, since you so desperately wish to vent spleen in the creative manner a seasoned CC Warrior might deliver, to these time-stealing I-don't-know-whats. It's all bollocks. I take no notice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 25 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: Oh I know what you mean and I absolutely exonerate the likes of Trip Advisor etc. from this nom, since they allow for the full majesty of the invective you wish to bestow upon the 'reviewed'. So you can really go to town on, say, The Tate Modern, viz: "My family and I visited this monument to collective delusion early in January and I really did try to keep an open mind However, 'Some men you just can't reach. So you get what I had here'. There's the installations, which are by rote, laughable (Exhibit A: monochrome paintings. Have a guess what that involves? A single colour on a canvas you say? Correct! Go to matron for an extra bit of tuck!), simplistic, worthless and ultimately, annoying. But this pales into insignificance when one reads the blurb accompanying them. Open the thesaurus at 'pretentious' and keep reading!"Achromes were intended to banish narrative content from his work and explore the concept of ‘nothingness’" "This tension may be embodied in a coiled energy, or emerge from a careful process of accumulation" " The concern was with an existential ‘being in the world’, a heightened awareness of the separateness of experience. This sense of isolation implied a questioning of the wider community. In the highly polarised atmosphere of the Cold War, it was a potentially subversive threat to social cohesion"I understand what these words mean - just not the way they bump up against each other used in the way they are above. Yet millions of pounds are spent indulging the purveyors of this tripe and one is made to feel so pathetically 'outside' the inner circle of chin-stroking imbeciles that get off on this collective delusional deception that all of this has any value and meaning. The 'artists' would probably enjoy the fact the only emotion I felt after two hours exposure to their body of work, was intense burning anger. As a postscript, my family and I walked over the Millennium Bridge to St Pauls Cathedral. There was a service on and, as you may have gathered, I know squat about religion. However, sitting there, listing to the choir and the organ, gazing up into the beautiful dome and the representations that real artists had created to their notion of a greater glory, I would go with this 'art' in a heartbeat over the offal on display a mile away on the South Bank. This review gets one 'Trip Advisor Dot' because it's not possible to give a zero - now that would be a worthwhile exploration of the concept of 'nothingness'." So it was a pile of shite then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 5 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: You buy anything these days - bullets, condoms, Vaseline the usual everyday 'non-hierarchy of needs' stuff - and guaranteed two days later you'll get some pissy little entreaty to fill out a survey '...to let us know how we've done'. Unfortunately, it's usually fixed-fields, multiple choice questions rather than a free text option. A pity, since you so desperately wish to vent spleen in the creative manner a seasoned CC Warrior might deliver, to these time-stealing I-don't-know-whats. It goes beyond making a purchase. You need only visit a web site and browse, and you'll either get a pop up requesting you give them your feedback, or they ask for your post code or some such cuntery. Fucking cunts, each and every one of them. The only real solution is to actually give an opinion of the CC kind, such as the Amazon variety (caveat, Amazon uses word filters, so telling the vendor to fuck off won't be published). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 I had a blood test this morning at my local surgery and within a hour I received a text asking me 'How likely are you to recommend us to a friend?,5 for very likely to 0, not at all',Next time someone tells me they're ill I'll definitely say "Get yourself to my doctors mate,they'll have you back on your feet in no time" knowing that they would probably not have thought of doing that themselves. (No,It wasn't a blood test for Aids you fucking wankers) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 42 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: It goes beyond making a purchase. You need only visit a web site and browse, and you'll either get a pop up requesting you give them your feedback As if Punkers is going to reply "My 10" black stallion 18v Sperminator XL is great and my live in rentboy Tarquin can't put it down either.many thanks" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 5 minutes ago, Neil said: As if Punkers is going to reply "My 10" black stallion 18v Sperminator XL is great and my live in rentboy Tarquin can't put it down either.many thanks" You never know with old Punky. He very well could, and then condemn readers who aren't catholic or deviant homosexualists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 6, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 1 hour ago, Neil said: I had a blood test this morning at my local surgery and within a hour I received a text asking me 'How likely are you to recommend us to a friend?,5 for very likely to 0, not at all',Next time someone tells me they're ill I'll definitely say "Get yourself to my doctors mate,they'll have you back on your feet in no time" knowing that they would probably not have thought of doing that themselves. (No,It wasn't a blood test for Aids you fucking wankers) Yup - 'Doctor Dracular inc. Tsetse Flies R Us' is always my first port of call when I need some blood taking. ....either that or I sing a note perfect version of 'Free Nelson Mandela' at The Olde English Fascist' pub's Karaoke evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 1 hour ago, Neil said: I had a blood test this morning at my local surgery and within a hour I received a text asking me 'How likely are you to recommend us to a friend?,5 for very likely to 0, not at all',Next time someone tells me they're ill I'll definitely say "Get yourself to my doctors mate,they'll have you back on your feet in no time" knowing that they would probably not have thought of doing that themselves. (No,It wasn't a blood test for Aids you fucking wankers) I bet you offered to ejaculate your sample directly into a petri dish before the disappointment of giving blood came to light. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 It was PSA test so spunking over the nurse would have given a false reading which is why I abstained Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 6 minutes ago, Neil said: It was PSA test so spunking over the nurse would have given a false reading which is why I abstained He must have been mightily relieved. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 Gemma was actually worth a tug,maybe I'll book again with fake groin strain 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 40 minutes ago, Neil said: It was PSA test so spunking over the nurse would have given a false reading which is why I abstained I hope you passed with flying colours because you know what’s coming next don’t you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 Death? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted February 6, 2018 Report Share Posted February 6, 2018 2 hours ago, Neil said: Death? You do know what a PSA test is for? Or is this some kind of wind up in extremely bad taste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 7, 2018 Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 9 hours ago, judgetwi said: You do know what a PSA test is for? Or is this some kind of wind up in extremely bad taste. It's called black humour and yes I have had cancer of the bollocks and believe me I have become an expert on all things prostate having had 3 biopsies that have thankfully (So far) revealed no prostate cancer but unfortunately my blood tests are telling them differently.I was just pointing put that Gemna stuck something in me and I wouldn't have minded sticking something in her!!(but sexual activity can raise the PSA to higher (misleading) levels. Yours Dr Neil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 7, 2018 Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 4 minutes ago, Neil said: It's called black humour and yes I have had cancer of the bollocks and believe me I have become an expert on all things prostate having had 3 biopsies that have thankfully (So far) revealed no prostate cancer but unfortunately my blood tests are telling them differently.I was just pointing put that Gemna stuck something in me and I wouldn't have minded sticking something in her!!(but sexual activity can raise the PSA to higher (misleading) level. Yours Dr Neil Aren't you proud you've chosen an abstinence lifestyle? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted February 7, 2018 Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 Its a bit like when you do those "check ins" on FaceBook and it then asks you if the place is good for children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 7, 2018 Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 15 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Aren't you proud you've chosen an abstinence lifestyle? Only for a week!,I'm on my third wank since Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 7, 2018 Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 29 minutes ago, Neil said: Only for a week!,I'm on my third wank since You can go ahead and pull a groin the violent way...it's your prerogative. Or, you could build up one massive shot, go in to see Gemma with the aching groin, and have her "diagnose" the problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 7, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 2 hours ago, Neil said: Only for a week!,I'm on my third wank since Make sure the Internet Café is empty first Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 7, 2018 Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 2 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: Its a bit like when you do those "check ins" on FaceBook and it then asks you if the place is good for children. Are you 'lady Penelope' Facefuck? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted February 7, 2018 Report Share Posted February 7, 2018 3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Are you 'lady Penelope' Facefuck? That one "listens to Bruno Mars". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.