Earl of Punkape Posted February 24, 2018 Report Share Posted February 24, 2018 6 hours ago, Gareth Hunt said: I know you lot have done the cuntishness "Coffee wankers" previously, but here's a new one on me. Back in the day, when I was advising Nescafe on the blending of three of the finest types of beans, you could get what you wanted in a cafe simply by asking. Wind forward to the present day, with me at the counter of a "boutique" coffee shop (no other nearby options, before you Gareth me for that), and the fucker won't serve me an Americano. "We don't water down our coffee", says the smug cunt behind the counter. Fucking wax-tached, moonfaced freak refused to make it like I want it and smart-eyed me as though *I'm* the cunt. Luckily, I had a sachet of Nescafe and found a half full pot of hot water that some hipster got with his herbal tea. Gareth. Fucking hell....It’s Jason King.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 25, 2018 Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 2 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Derivative low-effort shite. What exciting noms are going to be in your sights next? BMW drivers who don't indicate? Footballers who dive in mock agony to try and get their team the strategic advantage? Cunts who press the button at pedestrian traffic before checking to see if there are any cars or not? Honestly I'm on the edge of my seat here. How about cunts who press the lift button even though you've already pressed it (because it's lit up 'lift coming') and you're obviously standing there waiting for it? That trumps all you've mentioned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted February 25, 2018 Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: How about cunts who press the lift button even though you've already pressed it (because it's lit up 'lift coming') and you're obviously standing there waiting for it? That trumps all you've mentioned What about the able bodied cunts who stand on the "down" travelator without a trolley in the supermarket? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted February 25, 2018 Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 7 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: How about cunts who press the lift button even though you've already pressed it (because it's lit up 'lift coming') and you're obviously standing there waiting for it? That trumps all you've mentioned If you frequented or even lived in a building on one level you wouldn't need to use a lift. Are you seriously suggesting the caravan is multi - storey? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 25, 2018 Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 1 hour ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: If you frequented or even lived in a building on one level you wouldn't need to use a lift. Are you seriously suggesting the caravan is multi - storey? I imagine that your bungalow is a rat run comprised of horizontal stannah stairlifts. Moving you from commode to beer fridge with horrifying regularity, like some sort of faggoty bald, nappy wearing dalek. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord McCunty Posted February 25, 2018 Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 Any cunt who drinks instant coffee should be shot. Is it that fucking difficult to pour hot water into a jug and wait two minutes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 25, 2018 Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 6 minutes ago, Lord McCunty said: Any cunt who drinks instant coffee should be shot. Is it that fucking difficult to pour hot water into a jug and wait two minutes? So you don't put coffee granules in your mouth and pour hot water in? Fucking hell. All these years I've done it wrong Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted February 26, 2018 Report Share Posted February 26, 2018 On 25/02/2018 at 5:26 PM, camberwell gypsy said: So you don't put coffee granules in your mouth and pour hot water in? Fucking hell. All these years I've done it wrong Have you tried shoving them up your arse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 27, 2018 Report Share Posted February 27, 2018 2 hours ago, Bubba C said: Have you tried shoving them up your arse? No but I'm sure Punkape has Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 "This coffee tastes like mud!" "I'm not surprised, it was only ground 10 minutes ago" MikeD is dead, long live MikeD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 34 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: "This coffee tastes like mud!" "I'm not surprised, it was only ground 10 minutes ago" MikeD is dead, long live MikeD! Gazza Hunt is online so he might comment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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