Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 On 9/18/2018 at 9:34 AM, Frank said: I suppose it’s nice to see you pop up from time to time, but you’ve never really been much cop, Alf. Part of the furniture.. the brown stuff. Brown stuff???? Just like the shit on your bellend and the shit you always come out with. It would be nice to see your funeral. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 On 9/18/2018 at 9:26 AM, Mrs Roops said: OTOH you made 11 likes in your first 64 posts, not too dissimilar. Just giving him the same encouragement as I and most of the others received. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 7 hours ago, Duke Noakes of Shoreham said: Just giving him the same encouragement as I and most of the others received. I love the new avatar, Alf. I assume Gyps' lover sees something very similar each time she goes onto all-fours, though parting her bum cheeks must sound like two Velcro straps being violently pulled apart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 On 9/15/2018 at 4:20 PM, 'eavensabove said: Begging, is a lucrative business. Your set-up costs are relative low, and I'd whole-heartedly recommend it as a weekend pursuit. All you need is to borrow a wailing kid, dress it up as a migrant Romanian and Bob's your Uncle. A drizzle of snot from the kid's nostrils is obligatory, and you can always use your own (I use Araldite on the little fucker as it lasts all week) You'll need to have a toe poking out from one of your ill-fitting boots, and go without shaving for a good month whilst doing some field research as where best to place yourself to scam the unwary... Sitting beneath (or adjacent to) a Cash Machine can have good results, particularly if you can play-act as being forlorn. It's always best to pick your spots and stick to them in order to impregnate/brain wash your customer base/target audience so that they get used to you being there. Sooner or later, they'll cough-up and get quite used to your presence. Some, will even miss you if you don't turn up! These can easily fall victim at a later date, simply by telling them "we could barely walk, through hunger this past week" whilst whacking the kid to make it cry, and telling your punter that your Wife ended it all by throwing herself into the River Thames. You'll have to breakdown yourself at this time to give your spiel some serious weight, whilst emphasising the matter again if the punter goes to give you some small change rather than a note. Trust me, once you're accustomed to this form of self-employment, you'll never look back. Fucking hell eavens, if that's the edited version I shudder to think how long the original was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 2 hours ago, scotty said: Fucking hell eavens, if that's the edited version I shudder to think how long the original was. We, you now how it is with some the cunts on here. You've got to explain things, warts and all. By the way, was your Busking attempt lucrative, albeit that a Harp can take it out of you. My Tuba, playing was a complete loss. No cunt told me that Woolworths had closed. I was stood there on me Todd, puffing away to no avail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 7 hours ago, Archduke Noakes of Shoreha said: Just giving him the same encouragement as I and most of the others received. I see you have changed your title at my behest and you now style yourself as Hapsburg Euro-trash. You really don’t have a clue do you ? Were you born in Serbia ? Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 On 9/15/2018 at 6:12 PM, Trumpton Bacon said: And if the dog's wearing a neckerchief, that's worth an extra 25p. How on earth would you know this unless you hung around in King’s cross ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Trumpton Bacon Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Lord Punkape said: How on earth would you know this unless you hung around in King’s cross ? There are a number of beggars in Scunthorpe, in fact, most of the pseudo inhabitants are beggars, some of them are Polish. In actual fact, they're all beggars and 30% of them have dogs, 10% of which sport a neckerchief. 90% of them play golf frequently and the other 10% only occasionally. Have you seen that dreadul sitcom on TV called Bad Move with Jack Dee? It's fucking atrocious. I think you might like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 3 hours ago, Lord Punkape said: I see you have changed your title at my behest and you now style yourself as Hapsburg Euro-trash. You really don’t have a clue do you ? Were you born in Serbia ? Lol. Not at your behest oh gaylord, however I have some German ancesters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 13 minutes ago, Archduke Noakes of Shoreha said: Not at your behest oh gaylord, however I have some German ancesters. Good evening Von Noakes.... Fuck off you impotent Nazi cunt. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 35 minutes ago, Lord Punkape said: Good evening Von Noakes.... Fuck off you impotent Nazi cunt. lol. I bet that you say "Wims low". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 1 minute ago, Wybunbury Bertie said: I bet that you say "Wims low". The m and s are soft actually... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 Just now, Lord Punkape said: The m and s are soft actually... Like your bellend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 46 minutes ago, Lord Punkape said: Good evening Von Noakes.... Fuck off you impotent Nazi cunt. lol. I am so not like Hitler and more akin to Karl Marx as you well know. Go suck a loaded Purdey and clean the trigger while you're at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 Just now, Archduke Noakes of Shoreha said: I am so not like Hitler and more akin to Karl Marx as you well know. Go suck a loaded Purdey and clean the trigger while you're at it. You silly working class cunt. You need a more appropriate title such as Guv or Gaffer.... lol. Fuck off peasant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 29 minutes ago, Wybunbury Bertie said: Like your bellend. Spunkers likes bellends too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Ollyboro said: Spunkers likes bellends too. How d'you mean... Like the choir boys pulling on the end of Big Ben's rope? Edited September 19, 2018 by 'eavensabove Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 4 hours ago, Trumpton Bacon said: There are a number of beggars in Scunthorpe, in fact, most of the pseudo inhabitants are beggars, some of them are Polish. In actual fact, they're all beggars and 30% of them have dogs, 10% of which sport a neckerchief. 90% of them play golf frequently and the other 10% only occasionally. Have you seen that dreadul sitcom on TV called Bad Move with Jack Dee? It's fucking atrocious. I think you might like it. Jack Dee? Is that fucker still alive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 8 hours ago, Lord Punkape said: You silly working class cunt. You need a more appropriate title such as Guv or Gaffer.... lol. Fuck off peasant. You need to change yours to pointless poof or imaginary non virgin. How about cum gargling glory hole driller? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 11 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Jack Dee? Is that fucker still alive? Simon Dee is dead though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 13 hours ago, Lord Punkape said: The m and s are soft actually... Do you say Altringham? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Wybunbury Bertie said: Do you say Altringham? Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 3 hours ago, Wybunbury Bertie said: Simon Dee is dead though. Is wybunbury pronounced wimberry? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 4 hours ago, Archduke Noakes of Shoreha said: Is wybunbury pronounced wimberry? Widdenberry is the standard local way to pronounce it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 1 minute ago, Wybunbury Bertie said: Widdenberry is the standard local way to pronounce it. Maryberry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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