Hammer of Cunts

Handy Pandy Finger Bob's Doctor Who (no change neccessary)

Bagpuff?

The less said about Tufty's "club" the better.

Christ! This is a bit sensible. Are you Martyn Lewis?

Has anyone ever been prosecuted for this? I thought that it had been largely proved an urban myth. Similarly, covertly deploying a syinge in a crowded nightclub seems a bit implausible to me. A lot of these accusations are excuses for women being just plain being too pissed/randy to care at the time. No, I'm not condoning rape in any way, but casting all men as potential predators is also wrong.

Have you been reading a lot of Dennis Wheatley novels while observing lockdown?

This lot seem nice enough.

It's the first of a spate of Archers-related copy-cat murders.

You should never take charge of any firearm, even an air rifle, without checking that it's safe, but in this case the gun would have appeared loaded,, whether with blanks or live rounds, so checking it would not have been so simple; you'd have to take the rounds out of the chambers. If the expert armourer (who has presumably just loaded the fucking thing) tells you it's safe then...

She doesn't inspire much confidence does she?

Depends on the publicity.

It's about time the other "colonial powers" got some stick over this; most of them were much worse than us, although not as successful. The occupants of the previously oppressed countries are often quite grateful; there's even a popular memorial to Rhodes in Zimbabwe. The Belgians, for example, aren't well thought of in The Congo and even the mild-mannered Dutch have a few skeletons in the closet. As for the Spanish...

It'd get caught round the anchor chain.

Seems a bit little and a bit late. The Stones' entire career has involved the cultural appropriation of black music.

Being a vapid, talentless bint is a fucking minefield these days.

They'll be having a seperate police force as well then? I don't think that this has been properly thought through. If this new force is entirely female, Even though they might get there sooner, they'll spend ten minutes fucking about with handbags, make-up etc befoe getting out of the car.

On a more sensible note: surely this is what the 999 service is for? There is an implication that the existing emergency provisions are inadequate. Improving the service for 50% of the population (the half that are statistically less likely to be assaulted) seems a bit like box ticking. If I accidentally dial the new number to report that my house is ablaze, will they send a fire engine or some lesbians with a cup of tea?

It probably depends on who answers it. It'll end up going to the 999 operators... or a call-centre in Mumbai.

...and then they spend ten minutes fucking about with scratch cards and lottery tickets. It's like a tax on stupidity.

I disagree. Imho, he was the last chance this country will ever have of actually electing a government with fundamentally socialist principles. His problem was that the electorate don't want a government with fundamentally socialist principles. Most people just want a fair crack of the whip.

My mother was in Germany very soon ater the war, she saw Dachau (she worked for the Control Commission). One of her most abiding opinions was that it was impossible that "ordinary" Germans didn't know what what had been going on. The liberators treated the locals as they deserved.

500 million years of evolution gainsaid by a few dozen gobshites on Twitter. I think the term is "post-truth".

Yes, Father.

It would have been news if it were black.

What happened to him? I used to enjoy ignoring him. Is he up in heaven with CH?