Goober

I see that Éire has expelled four Russian diplomats on the advice of their intelligence service, essentially accusing them of being spies. I'm not sure what's more surprising, that Russia would spy on a country as insignificant as Ireland (they must have an interest in forecast potato yields) or that they could find enough people with an IQ above 80 to form an entire 'Intelligence' service.

I thought it was Will Smith's wife that was the slapper...

It's standard for Scouseland:

Personally, I'd like to think I could outskid Gates in the underwear area, if only to show that being a nerdy billionaire doesn't make you all that. I might have to go on a three month high protein baked bean diet to win, but it's not the taking part it's winning that counts.

Has anyone, ever, since the dawn of time, made a potato flavoured crisp? If I were a potato I'd be extraordinarily pissed off at the flavours getting all the credit for my providing 99.9% of the substance. Walkers are cunts.

But could you do a longer skid in your undercrackers, and would women lick them clean afterwards?

...and taking it all straight to the nearest car boot sale.

He's a kind hearted, terrorist scumbag and no mistake. That said, I'd still piss in his recently gouged out eye sockets, but only because the warm stream of isotonic urine would be quite soothing on the bleeding wounds. I'm all heart.

Let's be clear about this, Eire's apparent neutrality is a gift of geography and a sham. It's almost entirely dependant on having a global economic, pro anglophone, nuclear power on their doorstep guarding their wide spread arse cheeks. This prick world gladly bomb every one of us, but is to fucking thick to realise that Ireland couldn't exist without the preferential treatment we afford it. He and his English hating brethren benefit from our protection by virtue of knowing that no country can get to them without rolling through a NATO state, but pay diddly fucking squat for that protection. If a P5 member (Russia) can invade a sovereign democracy with little fear of legal reprisal due to its veto (as seems apparent), I say let's take advantage of the current global trauma and nuke Ireland to be done with these parasites. Death to all Catholics.

Bullshit, never happened. Judgetwi 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022... 2041...

I rather enjoyed the report by some BBC hack standing next to the dead bodies of Russian solidiers at a service station. I have noticed that the BBC seem rather enthusiastic about sending their Irish and coloured reporters to the front line (Chakrabati, Myrie, Keane, Doucet and Guerin). Racism or levelling up? Remember, whatever you see on the BBC, and however sceptical you are, it could always be worse. You could be hearing it from BBC East's presenter Mousumi Bakshi, the only woman in the world with a voice several octaves lower than Barry White's.

Stupid twat.

Twat.

Asking for a friend? I thought White Lightening was your, I mean your friend's, preferred tipple?

Seems strangely familiar, for some reason...

Two G, or not two G, that is the question. When the correct answer is a country.

"Is this a **gger I see before me?" "Where's the fucking script writer, he's misspelled dagger again!"

It's the tin foil thong that's the most uncomfortable.

@King Billy Any ideas what might have made a 52 year old die of a sudden heart attack, apart from him being a right chubby bastard of course? Every time the Poms beat Australia in the future Warney is going to be spinning in his grave.

There's a lot of cousins and uncles mating in that statement. I really don't want to know the details.

My first like in about a year. This is what the corner is for. Quality.

You're accepting the invite to go fuck yourself? Good luck with that. Keep a wet wipe handy.

Please accept my apologies (go fuck yourself, Bill) but I didn't realise you regularly hosted meetings of the cartels at your place. If you and 12.5% of those tanned murdering heathens have polluted her in quick succession I'm not surprised her jaw was a little jittery. Given this revelation of your connections, I'll try to call you a cunt less often.

I can't get on board with this OCR. There's something very disturbing about the way her jaw moves at a million miles an hour whilst she's talking, but English seems to be produced at a normal words per minute rate. She stinks of fembot to me and I suspect when you pull your cock out it's going to stink of WD40 rather than haddock.

That'll be from all the semen farted out by the locals whilst swimming. I'm surprised you didn't have dysentery too. You got off lightly.