Rev

Fuck me. To be fair, that fat mess would have to be monged off his tits on Poundland black tar heroin to miss that fucking council-tattooed slab-cracker. It was likely only the kilo of recently digested Krispy Kreme that protected Sergeant Lard's vital organs when the aisle-blocker turned her gun on the cunt.

I'm forced to agree.

Jesus. Are we absolutely sure this isn't just that speech-defected fragile leftie cock-snorkeler Chris Packham with a clip-on ponytail and his clackerbag gaffer-taped to his leg?

She looks a bona fide cunt. Kamala Harris is a cunt too, but at least I'd back-scuttle the soul food out of her colon. I wouldn't use this equine looking Lee cunt as a draught excluder.

They're a fucking joke. Our Defence Minister's only CV entry is that he was a stand-up entertainer at Butlins and our Justice Secretary was a call-centre worker before entering politics. They only succeed because they promise to turbo-charge the unemployables' benefits. They came up with this "Bairns not Bombs" bullshit saying they'd spend the Trident money elsewhere, but whatever sum we pay is our Defence budget set by NATO. It'd be the same figure with or without Trident. The mouth-breathers still lap it up though. Cunts.

That ginger dwarf gets make-overs courtesy of B&Q. What would she model as, a lesbian tractor?

The SNP don't want Devo to work, so they'll thwart it at every opportunity. Only "independence" will work apparently, although Sturgeon doesn't really want it, as there'd be no cunt left to blame if she got it. That's why she only demands it when she's personally assured that it's off the table. The promise and threat of it's only to keep her dribbling support onside.

Yeah. In Glasgow, it's very bitter. That was down to Salmond/Sturgeon saying Catholics vote Yes and Protestants vote No. According to the SNP, only Yes supporters are "true Scots". Sturgeon's a horrible little cunt who's facing several charges at the moment, but has threatened most media outlets with withdrawal of digital advertising rights if they publish/broadcast anything negative about her. She's already used the public purse to D Notice around a dozen current issues. Any FOIs are redacted and one or two journalists have been sacked for publishing opinion pieces.

Yeah it might be, but it's usually on a 60% turnout, sometimes quite a bit less. Because all the pro-union parties won't work together, they split the pro-union vote in three, so Sturgeon takes power on less than 30%. It's been as low as 22% before.

The majority of us don't want it and Floppy Bollocks will tell her to fuck off anyway. It's unlikely to happen for a few decades.

I've never really seen the semen-swilling Izzard cunt in anything, as my tolerance for arse-lords peaks at how efficiently I can despatch the leftie snowflake bearded lady bastards through a fucking bark-stripper. However, I'm willing to give the cottaging fairy a comprehensive hysterectomy with a 16oz ball-pein hammer when he goes full lady.

I think it's fair to say that the likelihood of me being a LibDem is as remote as Lucy Verasamy sitting on my face, King B.

To be fair, now that the cunt has binned the wig-wam outfit, got her row of fag-end teeth sorted, had her inbred quarter to three bollock-eyes fixed and lost a bit of weight, I'd probably rattle her fucking fillings out before throwing the hoor off a bridge, although she must have a clapper like a fucking horse's collar by now. Arse it is then.

I had to look this cunt up as I've never heard of her and thought it had something to do with bicycles. To be honest, he looked like an utter fucking cabbage before he decided to OD on meth, so I couldn't really give two flying shits if he drops dead. It saves him from having to do drive-bys after his music career ends.

I publicly offered to flatten the contents of his clackerbag and ram them into the body cavity left by the prostate I'd rip out. Then he'd be half-way to legitimising his claim. I told him he's a bloke until any of this happens. Imagine my surprise when a woke pastel reported me for hate crime and I got banned on two SM platforms. Tofu cunts.

Indeed, Mr B. That ginger-haired bastard mollusc Sturgeon bloke is now facing some hopefully damaging fraud charges brought against her by some of her own puddle-drinking support, which our lickspittle media are desperate to prevent from being broadcasted. She's a fucking titan of mediocrity, but I suspect that the fat sleepy cuddle prick Salmond is gunning for her and her alone. He's trying to put Wee Burney into a position where if she dismisses his "plan", he can exploit her lack of commitment to "independence". Frankly, I'd be quite happy if the pair of them suddenly dropped dead.

We would have had a wander around Rouken Glen yesterday, but the place was awash with the usual dribbling Lego-eating cunts, their toothless six-fingered Thrush-flecked other halves and their Buckfast bottle-fed chromosome-deficient and piss-leaking bastard children. Exactly the types why in this country we need to print directions on fucking shampoo bottles and quite possibly the perfect ground zero for a chemical-based pogrom utilising a few cheeky fatal neurotoxins in the otherwise leafy and tranquil southside suburb of Glasgow. Corsa-driving absolute cunts.

I'm not entirely sure what kind of fucking penis actually admits to owning a Seat Toledo. They're usually the domain of fat Aviator Shade-wearing sex pests who smell of scone mix and cruise city centres at night with a home-made private hire plate nailed to the bumper looking for lone females. Do you keep a collection of hammers in your boot?

...boom, up he pops like a well-slapped clitoris. I love the smell of a woman's paraurethral fluid in the morning.

Seems a bit improbable to be honest. Ratty and I are in the middle of crowd-funding for a bronze effigy of Amon Göth playing "Poland the Boardgame" with Rudolf Höss, to be unveiled in downtown Tel Aviv. Oskar Schindler was a cunt.

Indeed he was, Gypo. What an absolute fucking bellend he was in Camping and Girls. Absolute cunt. I was always a Dilys Laye kinda Alpha bloke, while the Douglas cunt chased some unavailable third-rate magnolia-toothed Thrush-riddled chunker with Windsor Davies. That McIntyre bastard needs glassed. Then incinerated.

Flattery like that will get you fucking everywhere, Gypo. I'll bring the peanut butter, if you take along the half-set jelly and inflatable unicorn. Get yer coat.

I'm still anticipating her grieving husband texting me to give me one last opportunity to knock one out over her rather fucking commodious milk wagons, before he sets the oven to 400c. While I'm there, it'd seem indecent not to flip the bleached octogenarian cunt over and pummel the mud out of her cold sclerotic dung-hatch. Jack Douglas was a cunt.

Well, it will undoubtedly come as absolutely no surprise to any of you fucking bastards, but I'd happily climb on top of this tubby waddletron muppet cunt and empty my clackerbag up her colon, before (perhaps after) zip-tying a heavy duty rubble sack around her fucking buffalo neck...then obviously setting the talent-resistant cunt on fire. I'm all about giving.

To be fair...her rather awkward speech defect aside, I'd very likely and quite fucking predictably, brown-town old Toyah up the council gritter until she girl-juiced. Adrian Belew is a cunt.