Decimus

I'm not sure how this one has slipped under the radar, even after a mod directly quoted it. That being said, consider yourself reported for what smells significantly like a nonce inference. Fuck off. Lol.

Isn't it that the further you go into Camberwell the taller, butcher and hairier the "women" get? I imagine with your ball control skills (leg tucking) and brute animal strength, you were always first on the Camberwell Rugby Club's team sheet. Lol.

I'll be sad to see it go. Whenever my sons bring one of their idiot fucking friends home, said little cunt always has some affected mockney, Guy Ritchie twang. Or worse, an inner city yard ape burr. Give me a Mundee and Toosdee any day of the week.

Have you seen The Dig yet, Goober? I have to say I've been impressed with the accent so far. It's technically Suffolk, but similar to ours. Usually whenever a Norfolk or Suffolk accent is attempted on film they get some West Country cunt to do it.

See your PMs. Proper caught Covid whilst cleaning the bogs at St. Jimmy's and has left me in charge temporarily. Do you know where he keeps The Hat?

A lazy, slipshod explanation as to why you have trolled the site continuously since you first joined it. First off, the majority of posters aren't right wing or racist. I'll give you that a vocal minority probably are, but to paint the entire site as a Stormfront offshoot says more about your own political naievity than the political realism of The Corner. I'm a pro European, old school left-wing, historic Labour voter. Others who you probably also imagine to be Nick Griffin clones actually have similar political leanings as me. The difference between us and you is that we have recognised and acknowledged that the left has been hijacked by extreme ideologists who are fervently trying to shoehorn identity, race and gender politics into the main political discourse of this country. The fact of the matter is, Great Britain has more important things to be worrying about than a starving Somalian not getting a Covid jab, or a 6 year old boy being denied gender reassignment surgery on an already overwhelmed NHS. You live in a fantasy Twitter world where idealism and principles trump Realpolitik and the base nature of the human race. Take a look at your communist heroes and see where idealism got them, with cunts like you in charge during one of the most challenging times in human history, we'd be reliving Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot. Get off my fucking site.

I genuinely want you to be good again. If I didn't, I'd just ignore you like I do the majority of the also-ran, number makers on here. I've seen a few flashes of the old magic this week, and it warmed my heart. But at the moment you're reminding me of my old nan. 90% of what you say is complete fucking drivel that you've repeated scores of times in one form or another, but every now and again the fog clears and you dish out an acerbic put down that I log and intend to plagiarise at a later date. What's the problem? It's either Alzheimer's, crippling substance abuse, a mid-life crisis, or maybe it's that I've got rose tinted glasses on and you have always been fucking shit. Sort yourself out.

Fran Lebowitz has not put pen to paper since 1994, agreeing with her editor's assertion that she probably has too much reverence for the written word to potentially sully it with a shit book. It's not sheer fucking laziness if you're a writer who hasn't finished a job in nearly 27 years, it's brilliance according to pretentious fucking idiots like Frank. On that note, @Frank I wish you would show a similar respect to the English language and cease inflicting your half-baked, middle-of-the-road, endlessly rehashed fucking shit on us. Take a break. Permanently.

Fran fucking Lebowitz. A pretentious cunt who has done nothing of note since the 1990s. One of those types beloved by Guardian readers despite having no discernible talent other than telling the same anecdotes at the same Godfuckingawful New York society dinners year after year. I have no idea what it is she does these days, other than being seen on "the scene", drifting through life with all the tediousness of a useless dilettante who dines out on past glories. I'm not in the least bit surprised that she resonates with you.

Picture the scene. Roops finally gives in to your wide boy, Swiss Toni charms, dumps her elderly raspberry millionaire, and moves in to Fatty's guest house annexe with you. You feel like knocking her up, but soon realise she's at that stage in life where she's got less eggs than a vegan's larder. My question is, if you choose to adopt, if pushed, would you pick a niggsby or a wet back?

Niggsbys

Do you now wear adult nappies?

How many Bristol Stool Chart posters do you have on your bedroom wall? Do you stick them to the wall with little gobbets of dog shit? Answer the fucking questions.

I had to Google her, Eric, but now I've seen her face I know who it is. Not that I should, I blame my parents. I can remember nights in the mid 90s, our humongous fucking television obscured by a fug of cigarette smoke, and looking up from my Sega Game Gear and seeing Band of Gold on the screen. Similarly, I've also got vague memories of Cracker and Big Break.

Doesn't it make economic and environmental sense to do business with our closest neighbours, though? Surely meat imported from Europe will end up on our shelves at a cheaper price, and fresh, when compared to the overpriced frozen stuff from New Zealand?

Beepety beep. Bee bee. Beepety beep.

I'm just about old enough to remember the days when said waitress would have an obligatory dog end clenched between her remaining six teeth. Now I'm no polymath or advanced physicist, but perhaps as The Corner's resident non-spastic Hawking, you could explain. How did the precariously balanced six centimetres of ash from said dog end stay in situ for the entirety of her shift?

If this was anyone else, I'd assume that they'd been on the skunk and had got carried away after listening to a cunt load of Bob Marley. As it's you, I'm guessing that you have been overcome with vapours from a particularly large deposit of Alsatian shit. Who gets dee wartymelon? Who gets you dewey decimaled scat collection? Ireeeeeeee. Weird fucking cunt.

These cunts are from the most desolate, dangerous, fly blown shit holes on God's Earth, and they still would rather burn to death than live in Folkestone. I can't say I disagree with them.

Fucking hell, put the dots down you Samuel Morse cunt.

Bye, Johnny! If I find any of my nominations posted on fantasyfaggothairdressers.com, I'll know you're still with us. Bon voyage, you stupid bankrupt fucking cunt. Lol.

As a man with numerous risk factors and a compromised immune system, how are you staying upbeat during this pandemic, Frank?

Frank's got some 'hooky' vaccines from China as part payment for the luminous yellow paint job he did on his local Chinky at the start of the month. He's doing Eddie's flat in battleship grey next week. What a 24 carat, stuck in the 80s, time warp faggot plonker he really is.

I genuinely hope that the next time you decide to log on and post your awful fucking shite on here, you fall out of your spastic scooter and it runs over your tiny, Zika baby head. That's what I'd call karma, you quarter-witted, absolutely cretinous fucking cunt.