Decimus

I'm automatically suspicious of any male who doesn't like football. My doubts are then tripled when I learn that they are also huge cricket fans. Stubby, if this is you coming out then I can hardly claim to be surprised. You do have a ponytail after all. All that being said, I have absolutely no doubt what your answer to the following question will be: Do you want to suck my dick, Stubby Pecker? Fuck off.

Just a couple of questions, Neil. Firstly, I assume that the cables attached to the lift are good old fashioned British steel and not Chinese? It would explain why you didn't hurtle to your death upon being greased up and levered into the compartment by a team of hotel porters. Secondly, surely a bit of background noise would help distract from the terrified screams of the half-dead prostitute whose face you're currently curling one out onto?

I spent an entire week a mere five or six likes off of the top spot, despite only making three or four posts per day. If you want to blame anyone for this current state of affairs, look no further than the clique. I accrued 63 likes in one week, and only two of them were from Bubba and one from Bill. If you want me back on top, they and you need to pull your fingers out and start appreciating my work. Because I can promise you, I have no intention of claiming back what's rightfully mine by increasing my daily output and spending anymore time on here when it's currently so fucking dreadful. Now fuck off.

The whole way that this entire process has been conducted is a fucking shambles. The likes of Rees Mogg and Johnson are shameless narcissists who only think of their own progression and couldn't give a flying fuck about what happens to this country. The only reason May has been allowed to stumble her way through this debacle is to become history's convenient patsy when future generations look back and realise what a collosal fuck up this has been. As soon as she's sold us up shit creek and fulfilled her role, she'll be out of the door, and the next Tory wanker in charge who didn't have the bottle to try and rescue the situation can hold their hands up and blame everything on her. Shameful.

Are you eating cold Chappie straight from the tin tonight? Lol.

The only reason I know is because I thought exactly the same thing as you. He has got that weaselly 5'5, 9 stone wet-through ginger look that I utterly fucking despise. Curiosity got the better of me and I engaged Roops mode and googled the cunt. Then again, Tom Cruise claims he's 5'7, and we all know that's a fucking lie.

Whilst I agree that his arsehole deserves to be haunted by the restless spirit of Jimmy Savile, I don't see how at over six foot tall he can be labeled as a dwarf. Unless of course, you're typing whilst under the influence of your own arsehole being possessed by Robert Wadlow.

You don't appear to be responding very well to his jibes. Instead of adopting a standard nonchalant one word answer approach, you've decided to over compensate. You're all over the fucking place and if I didn't know better I'd say that 'eavens has got you well and truly rattled.

All very true, but imagine your old chap being tugged by his velvety soft paws. I imagine getting tossed off by MC would feel like Peter Rabbit going to town on your bellend.

This was when my old man first started taking me to games, the glory days of Norwich when we finished third in the premier league and nearly won the whole thing. Haven't done a lot since, but still the only British team to ever beat Bayern Munich at their old home ground back in that season, thanks to the Welsh wizard Jerry Goss.

I preferred it when you were dead. Fuck off.

Outright discrimination based upon a person's race is of course disgusting. However, trying to dictate to someone that their sexual preference is somehow morally corrupt because they aren't attracted to someone with big burger nipples and nappy hair is fucking outrageous. I don't have an issue with ethnic minorities, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be openly criticised for stating that I don't find black people attractive. I don't, but I also don't particularly like blondes either. Nothing to do with race, just a preference. You're still a despicable shit stabbing poof mind you.

Theorising that one could time travel within his own life time, Doctor Stubby Pecker stepped into the wood chipper...and vanished.

Rattling the twenty aubergines inside his cavernous arsehole to send an S.O.S. Morse code message to any sexually aggressive seaman on the high seas with a penchant for Jesus Creepers and wigs.

I'm sweet on him, what of it? Ordinarily I wouldn't look at another man, but your silence today regarding the earwigs shooting down one of Vlad's planes has left me feeling disenfranchised.

This is eerily quite close to the truth, Jiggeroony. I used to be a regular worshipper of beak, numerous pills, barbiturates for comedowns, mushrooms and bog standard weed. Nowadays, the only drugs I regularly touch are my little paper Panda squares, you can't beat a bit of microdosing before a full council meeting or a parents evening.

I imagine that it's a tie. With all the tawdry shit-stabbing they have allegedly been involved in, I'd wager that their cocks look like a couple of moles that have had their heads stamped on.

Reported I'm afraid, you make me sick.

Could you imagine him attempting to wash himself in a hotel shower cubicle? His spindly Mr. Tickle arms and legs would have to be bent double like some sort of circus freak Slenderman to stand any chance of being able to douche his brutally tattered arsehole.

I can imagine it now. Two cancerous old bald cunts shuffling into a French greasy spoon, one with goose shit covering the front of his hospital gown, the other struggling to keep a pair of five year old's jeans from falling loose and exposing his perfectly bald cock. Both clenching their arseholes together to keep the remains of their ravaged prostates from falling to the floor and becoming the plat principal.

Did you ever see the cunt's dad? I doubt a pug would fuck it, let alone a majestic weimaraner.

Much the same as your primary carer dumping you out of your mobility scooter onto a changing mat so some other poor cunt can change your soiled nappy.

I don't know what's wrong with me, Drew. Maybe I've turned into a big fucking poof, but I find myself not seeing the humour in a pregnant woman being flogged then hanged after giving birth

I'm afraid that I don't find this humorous, Eavens It makes me feel absolutely sick to the pit of my stomach that I belong to the same species as someone who could pronounce this sentence upon another human being. Fucking disgusting.

Imagine the state of her fanny.