Ape™️

A mindless cretin reeling off the same old golf club bollocks.

Fuck off.

I'm sure you'll be revisiting all manner of gay nightclubs this weekend, like you do every weekend. Fucking poof.

I think you've just been flicking through old noms, desperately looking for wanking material. You're a fucking disgrace. Fuck off.

What's more disturbing is why a grubby little freak like you is resurrecting noms about people eating spunk-filled pies. Fucking poof. Fuck off.

Typing on an iPhone, or just an illiterate wanker?

Sound the imminent meltdown klaxon.

Shut up, you silly little poof.

Where's this Rumaina [sic] you speak of? Your limited grasp of the English language appears to be entirely phonetic. Cunt.

Looks like admin needs to add a paranoid wanker option to the suite of available "likes"........

Forgive me, oh mighty fence-sitter.

No denial then?

Another blatant liar. Fuck off.

Otherwise known as a license to print fucking money. So many questions, so many exclusions, so many ways the cunts can worm their way out of actually paying a penny. One fucking week, in fucking Portugal - they can get fucked. Fuck off.

I wonder if any hotels have found shit on their shower heads after Punky has been to stay?

No cunt has yet denied having ever done this themselves I notice.......

Not to mention the irritating fucking wanker quota, which is full thanks to 'eavens.

Indeed he is.

Come on then Frank (you vile cunt) - have you ever pleasured yourself with a shower? Be honest for once.

Surely it's just plain and simple ShowerWank?

Fascinating.

When I'm away on business, away from my wife and in need of a little sexual gratification, I often have a wank in the shower. If I'm lucky, the shower head will be on a flexible hose, thus allowing me to enjoy a tantalising stream of warm water on my cock and balls. Often, the shower heads have adjustable spray patterns available, allowing the most pleasurable one to be determined through experimentation. Lately I've been extremely disappointed by a string of hotels with fixed shower heads that offer none of the aforementioned delights, and that's no fucking fun at all. Cunts. Any bloke that denies any knowledge of this pleasure is a fucking liar. Fuck off.

You'd know if you did - the stench of congealed spunk would be rife.