Eric Cuntman

Fuck off albert. This is definitely you. Cunt.

Proof, if any was needed that god does not exist. No deity would create that body, and top it off with a comedy gargoyle, reminiscent of both Alan Minter and Mr Ed.

Oh no! Please don't go. We had a resident spacker called Albert, but he seems to be on restricted internet access at his special hospital, and only turns up once a month. Which leaves us short of a village idiot, and you seem to be filling the role effortlessly.

She's not really a celebrity anyway, just a gymnast who was about half as good as Olga Korbut or Nadia Komenic. Probably about the level of Suzanne Dando, but not pretty enough to get invited on Swap Shop.

Check out the latest offering from the crustacean. We're in the middle of a spazocalypse.

I thought it was just like a negative reality inversion.

Of course Alex Salmond is a cunt. He's a politician. The next time you suggest getting back to the point, please ensure that you've made one in the first place. Orwight mate?

What you're basically saying then, is, 'I don't care what you lot think cos you all smell of poo' have you met Albert?

Absolutely fucking priceless.

Another tard, or are you one of the existing tards that's changed its fucking name again?

I couldn't leave your like total at 5,999, have 6,000 on me.

'Hurrah! Let's de-bag Carstairs and introduce him to Brown Major!'

Ereptic, you've changed your avatar to that disgusting gurning pervert, holding a giant bell-end. I feel sick again now. Please punch yourself in the face on my behalf.

And the bumming, don't forget the bumming.

Thank you for your recent application. It is with regret that I inform you that our 'stupidfuckingcunt' department is currently fully staffed.

You're a fucking disgrace. Out of likes.

Philip Schofield.

Gargantuan whelk snuffler

He's one of the most sinister, creepy, rapey looking cunts I've ever seen. The thought of eating anything that he prepared makes me want to vomit out my kidneys. Disgusting fucking sex case.

Billy the Fish. Cuntiest Billy ever.

Flashing is a serious business. Ask Lady Di.

I assume you're talking about Flinty, Benny and Cat? All cunts that were before my time. We should have a CC hall of shite, where classic posts from legendary fucktards can be viewed by us young'uns with an interest in corner history.

Now Ainsley Harriett is a collossus among cunts. Firstly, there's the creepy, leering manner that He gropes and slobbers over any female that gets within 5 feet of him. And secondly, the bizarre habit of cooking whilst performing a nauseating dance, a combination of the Caribbean bogle and that pervy thigh rubbing thing that Vic Reeves used to do.

I love that gigantic baldy cunt. Roberto Duran and Nigel Benn are my choices for the best of all time. Neither of them were graceful or technically anything special, but they were proper, stand-up scrappers.

KEITH!!!