Major Cunt

I could see him reveling in that role ever since the cozzers pensioned him off for incompetence. Hopefully he's wadding about as a Securicor custodian, with the ever present threat of a sawn off shotgun resting under his triple chin. I'm sure he'd like to tell us he scared the would be robber off with one of his stock hardman phrases, but was probably struggling to control last night's kebab making an unexpected appearance...

We're in dire times. The cooler is empty and cunts are fearing it. There's still punters with a devil may care attitude, but their certainly in the minority. I wear my warning points as badges of honour. Now where's @judgetwi when you need an obese jewish cripple who always takes the bait.

The Furher had the right idea, Herr Oberst. Requiring them to register, pack a few essential items, and arrive at a local train station for an all expenses holiday in Poland. I wonder what he'd make of it all now...

I'm all for hunting the scabby and dangerous urban fox, but the bushy tailed country fox in his natural habitat isn't hurting anyone... I'd suggest that you and Mtembe start an urban fox hunt on mountain bikes in an effort to keep the population down. I'm sure you could gather a few golfing queen's, and feed each other hounds on a railway embankment!

You're getting her confused with old @Bill Stickers who's septum's in a similar state. I'm predicting he'll return at Christmas after a few Kraft's, insult a few cunts then log out in disgust...

President Assad was an eye doctor at Moorfields hospital and went to great lengths to disguise who he was. His and father's regime never targeted Christians, and thank God the Russians puts special forces on the grounds wiping out ISIS. I would happily pull a cracker with the man. My only condition would be diplomatic immunity, ensuring I can shoot a few cunts with no fear of prosecution... I'm told he doesn't like scouser's. So unfortunately you'll be eating beans on toast in a Liverpool hovel.

That's the nail on the head Mrs R. Joe Public doesn't take to kindly for footing the bill for Romania's new sewers when half of Bucharest is camped out in London pick-pocketing. The original Common Market was actually a decent idea, but it morphed into the fucking EU. Inviting 2nd world countries to join under the guise of prosperity was little more than a buffer against mother Russia. Here's an idea. France, Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Italy, Austria, and the other first word European nations leave the EU and we can all prosper. Once they fuck the hangers on off we can start talking, and strictly no Islamic countries either. I'd rather have Syria at the table than Turkey with their dreams of the new Ottoman Empire.

He's under the impression that the death of the Czar heralded in a renaissance period under Trotsky, Lenin ect. The fact that the country almost starved to death through collective farming, and the purge of the generals resulted in jack boots just outside Moscow. Fortunately the only two people who didn't know Russia gets cold in winter were Napoleon and Hitler. I really don't know where to start with this one, but communism never works because some are always more equal than others...

As a nurse with numerous years experience, Gyp's, I find it reassuring that my instict was correct, but surprised they'd stoop so low. However, they also gave thousands of soldiers cancer over the years in similar trials.

I've a feeling he's got a human rights lawyer working pro bono on his defense, as both grammar and punctuation have improved ten fold. I reckon it's Michael Mansfield QC, or possibly Stickers for a gram of Peruvian...

I've seen the Steve Gutenberg one on YouTube and found it incredibly soft compared to 'Threads'. The Cold War seems a distant memory now, but that documentary was the grim reality. I find it absurd that folks believed chucking yourself under a fucking plywood table could ensure survival. Quite ironic really, as you've now got the masses walking around in masks blissfully swallowing Boris's bullshit. The vaccines arrived now though, and 'GlaxoSmithKline' are set to make billions. An interesting footnote is the amount of virologists with shares in pharmaceutical companies.

Fucking hell, Franco. What on God's green earth is up with you lately. The much vaulted comeback has been the poorest so far. I'd suggest you take a break until you can cobble together some decent material, or pay a struggling student to ghost write.

@King Billy is either gonna have to slash his prices or his trees. Mind you, he's still got the massage parlour to fall back on. Punkers is obsessed with the place which leads me to the conclusion he's finally ready to loose his virginity (to a woman). Being the batter may prove a bridge to far with the strain creating a brain sized prolapse. Strange man...

Cheers, Ed. You're the smartest black fella I know.

Remember the BBC documentary from the 80's about a nuclear war that caused quite a stir due to its graphic content? They could have filmed the entire thing in Hull including extras and saved a fortune. If anyone can remember it's title, particularly @Eric Cuntman are resident Barry Norman. I'd appreciate it. Ta

Hull of all places too. A desolate shitehole which you'd honestly have to visit in person to believe. It looks like the pages described in a Charles Dickens novel except their now all clad in 'Sports Directs' finest. The working girls with teeth like a witch doctors necklace out of their nuts on heroin and spice, as opposed to opium. A once once thriving fishing port fucked by the EU. Forced to sell their trawlers for a penance and a generation shafted. I'm hoping Boris says no, and tells the swarthy over quota fishing Johnny foreigners to watch out for Navy frigates... Maybe there's a way back for these places!

Just heard there's "a log jam" at a British port due to the chinks. So not being content with sending us shite that would offend Del Trotter's lock-up. There now sending us faeces... I was only half listening to be fair.

I can't see JohnnyFantasyPants sticking his head above the parapet any time soon. To come across like a total fucking idiot is one thing, but to plagiarise a previous thread verbatim is something else. I had my money on Dyslexic being taken out by Christmas, but he's actually turned it around and proved he's not stealing too much oxygen. Despite defending Mike 'Rip Their Tights' Tyson. Though not his rape conviction.

What the fuck else were you expecting, Bill. Harry's obviously in a medium security psychiatric unit and permitted a mobile. His cell walls are probably covered in more shit than Bobby Sands's blanket.

Stool softeners, or more fibre in your diet. Unfortunately it comes with age, Franco, but taking it up the arse less might help... No need to thank me, obviously.

Can you source me any of those Gaddafi gifted pistols? I'm not short of sterling, and if Merkel gets her way you might need it...

Mr's C should be more concerned with dispensing the evening medication from your labeled box. Don't worry about Frank as he's had more comebacks than Sinatra. He's merely playing the sympathy card for the thousandth time...

He's had it about five times since I've been here. At least Withers doesn't moan about glowing florescent. In fact it probably aids in finding a goose in the winter months. Franco, nobody fucking cares. You're like the 50 year old hipster who cried wolf. I sincerely hope it's terminal... Wanker.

I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but apparently train/tube drivers receive such a healthy salary due to the amount of suicides they will encounter. Not bad really for sitting on your arse and operating a lever. I'm gonna email Bob Crow. I could do with a cushdy number. Could you possibly save me some body temperature urine as I'm likely to melt the specimen pot...

I'm not fucking Bob Crow, but thanks for the update. This conversation was about sixteen years ago...