Decimus Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 As I'm not MikeD, I won't kick this off with one liners about spirits. Tonight I've gone to my local with Mrs. D for a few drinks, only to find that the back room we usually sit in has been given over to a local psychic who will provide a demonstration of mediumship. A.K.A. a demonstration of conning the living fuck out of gullible fucking idiots. Is there anybody there?... No, you fucking charlatan, there isn't. All I can see are recently bereaved women desperately clutching at straws, and a despicable fucking cunt willing to exploit their grief for profit. Fucking disgraceful. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 Ask her if she can detect any cunts in the pub. That'll test her powers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 2 minutes ago, Ape said: Ask her if she can detect any cunts in the pub. That'll test her powers. Or a message from Billy Big-dog-balls-bully-blowhard-blusterer Stickers Since he is certified brain-dead (QED) he should come through like Radio 2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 10 minutes ago, Decimus said: As I'm not MikeD, I won't kick this off with one liners about spirits. Tonight I've gone to my local with Mrs. D for a few drinks, only to find that the back room we usually sit in has been given over to a local psychic who will provide a demonstration of mediumship. A.K.A. a demonstration of conning the living fuck out of gullible fucking idiots. Is there anybody there?... No, you fucking charlatan, there isn't. All I can see are recently bereaved women desperately clutching at straws, and a despicable fucking cunt willing to exploit their grief for profit. Fucking disgraceful. You have asked for the lottery numbers though? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted August 28, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Ape said: 3 minutes ago, Piston said: You have asked for the lottery numbers though? No, I got out sharpish, lest its powers of clairvoyance held true. I've been fucking Mrs. D's sister. Edited August 28, 2016 by Decimus Fucking quote shite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 29 minutes ago, Decimus said: As I'm not MikeD, I won't kick this off with one liners about spirits. Tonight I've gone to my local with Mrs. D for a few drinks, only to find that the back room we usually sit in has been given over to a local psychic who will provide a demonstration of mediumship. A.K.A. a demonstration of conning the living fuck out of gullible fucking idiots. Is there anybody there?... No, you fucking charlatan, there isn't. All I can see are recently bereaved women desperately clutching at straws, and a despicable fucking cunt willing to exploit their grief for profit. Fucking disgraceful. Go along and when he asks if anyone has lost someone recently stick your hand up and say you have and string the cunt along. At the end tell him its all been a load of bollocks and he is a fucking fraud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 11 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Go along and when he asks if anyone has lost someone recently stick your hand up and say you have and string the cunt along. At the end tell him its all been a load of bollocks and he is a fucking fraud. That's what I'd do, keep altering the story bit by bit, see if you can turn it around to point at him shagging his sister in law or something...(the medium, not you Decs, I've already phoned that one in.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 I'm getting a message for someone called Jane at the back of the room...... or it could be Jean.......or Joan..... is there a Janet? Yes you my darling, do you have someone who passed recently...... no? Do you know someone who has..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 50 minutes ago, Piston said: Or a message from Billy Big-dog-balls-bully-blowhard-blusterer Stickers Since he is certified brain-dead (QED) he should come through like Radio 2. Brilliant. QED just gets funnier each time you say it. And the blowhard comment, much better the second time. Brlliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 46 minutes ago, Decimus said: 47 minutes ago, Decimus said: No, I got out sharpish, lest its powers of clairvoyance held true. I've been fucking Mrs. D's sister. You too?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 10 minutes ago, Rick_B said: I'm getting a message for someone called Jane at the back of the room...... or it could be Jean.......or Joan..... is there a Janet? Yes you my darling, do you have someone who passed recently...... no? Do you know someone who has..... Has anybody had a relative die in the past 70 years?........you dear?......In the war? ......ah it was quick was it?......shot?......so I'm getting a picture of a man in uniform....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 7 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Has anybody had a relative die in the past 70 years?........you dear?......In the war? ......ah it was quick was it?......shot?......so I'm getting a picture of a man in uniform....... I was dragged along to a spiritualist church once. When he got to the messages from the other side bit a few old ladies gasped at the accuracy of some of the pretty mundane messages he had. I was surprised when he turned to me and said that I was going away shortly in connection with bench work and had concerns. This was true, I'm a chemist but plenty of other jobs could be called benchwork. I was going away for a while, but then the people I was dragged along by were regulars and knew this and so could have mentioned it. He said there would be a pub called The Red Lion and I would meet someone there who would would help solve my dilemma and everything would turn out fine. There was no Red Lion and my girlfriend of the time pissed off with someone else while I was away. Not fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 3 minutes ago, Rick_B said: I was dragged along to a spiritualist church once. When he got to the messages from the other side bit a few old ladies gasped at the accuracy of some of the pretty mundane messages he had. I was surprised when he turned to me and said that I was going away shortly in connection with bench work and had concerns. This was true, I'm a chemist but plenty of other jobs could be called benchwork. I was going away for a while, but then the people I was dragged along by were regulars and knew this and so could have mentioned it. He said there would be a pub called The Red Lion and I would meet someone there who would would help solve my dilemma and everything would turn out fine. There was no Red Lion and my girlfriend of the time pissed off with someone else while I was away. Not fine. If it's any consolation Rick, I find it fucking funny that your girlfriend left you for another man? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 31 minutes ago, Rick_B said: He said there would be a pub called The Red Lion One of the 6 most common pub names along with The Royal Oak, White Hart etc. Not a medium, a fucking fraudster fiddling with the emotions of gullible fuckers. Take him outside and kick him in the periodic tables Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 I once read my own tea leaves and it came true. It said I was going to have another cup of tea. No it didn't. It said was going to meet someone with the initials J McL and I did. I thought that was rather precise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 2 hours ago, Ape said: Ask her if she can detect any cunts in the pub. That'll test her powers. First detected....... Decipus in drag and on drugs. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 35 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: If it's any consolation Rick, I find it fucking funny that your girlfriend left you for another man? Well someone had to turn the thread into a gay banana up the bum thread didn't they Stickybum ? Fucking cretin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 13 minutes ago, Manky said: One of the 6 most common pub names along with The Royal Oak, White Hart etc. Not a medium, a fucking fraudster fiddling with the emotions of gullible fuckers. Take him outside and kick him in the periodic tables Good night on Canal St Manky ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 43 minutes ago, Rick_B said: I was dragged along to a spiritualist church once. When he got to the messages from the other side bit a few old ladies gasped at the accuracy of some of the pretty mundane messages he had. I was surprised when he turned to me and said that I was going away shortly in connection with bench work and had concerns. This was true, I'm a chemist but plenty of other jobs could be called benchwork. I was going away for a while, but then the people I was dragged along by were regulars and knew this and so could have mentioned it. He said there would be a pub called The Red Lion and I would meet someone there who would would help solve my dilemma and everything would turn out fine. There was no Red Lion and my girlfriend of the time pissed off with someone else while I was away. Not fine. Too much time in the Red Lion..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 13 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: I once read my own tea leaves and it came true. It said I was going to have another cup of tea. No it didn't. It said was going to meet someone with the initials J McL and I did. I thought that was rather precise. Idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 My wine bottle just told me I am talking to a cunt. Evening Spunky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 I got dragged to one of these a few years ago. It was at the Highfield pub, and it was shit. Middlesbrough's a tough crowd at the best of times, but when you're as shit as this cunt was - imagine Frank sitting on a pile of shit - you've got no fucking chance. Every "Is there someone with a connection to Gloria?" was met with shaking heads, and people looking around and saying "I knew a Brian, but not a Gloria". The highlight of the show came when the cunt said: "I'm sensing a spirit just near the lady with the blue cardigan....yes you.....2nd from the end...yes, you in the blue.............is she alright?" At which point the woman next to her replied: "No....she's on very strong medication, I'm her carer". By now every pissed pensioner, grieving widow and medicated corpse in the place were openly laughing at the cunt. Suddenly the cunt says: "One of the men on the end"........he was only pointing a me!! A microphone was passed to me, at which point I cleared my throat and announced: "Before you start, I don't know anything about Men's Ends" (after 6 pints it seemed funnier). To which the North East Pub Circuit' s answer to Clinton Baptiste shouted: "YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF!!" And stormed off out the place. I didn't see that coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 9 minutes ago, Punkape said: Well someone had to turn the thread into a gay banana up the bum thread didn't they Stickybum ? Fucking cretin. We've had a good time recently not conversing with one another. I'd appreciate it if that could continue Kind regards, Bill Blowhard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 12 minutes ago, Punkape said: Good night on Canal St Manky ? Fuck off you cretinous oaf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 4 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: My wine bottle just told me I am talking to a cunt. Evening Spunky. Are you with Everard or Ramone tonight ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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