Working as security for nightclubs, venues and bars

[CCArchive]

The most thankless, depressing, so-not-worth-the fucking-hassle shit cunt of a job. Yet I still do this on the weekends to supplement my income when things are a bit slow with my day job. (And to get in free to see bands I'd normally pay for, meet and greet them and make the fans jealous) The pay isnt even really worth it, $20 an hour which is ten squid. I know there are wanker bouncers out there like punters but I'm actually a 'good cunt' and do it for the money and fucking hate every passing moment, dealing with drunk Kiwi fucking scum bags who take exception to me not letting them in while proclaiming to be sober yet doing the Michael Jackson lean move from the Moonwalker video, stuck up bitches who think they can act however they like because they are pissed and have a vagina and even having to deal with fuck head bouncers that I work with who are so up their own fucking arse and are fucking boring as fuck to work with. If it were up to me id fucking pull out an uzi and just end some of these cunts on the spot. In fact id like to take out the entire dancing floor. No one would miss these detritus fucking flotsam. Gotta work tonight as well. I can't stress enough how fucking backward kiwis are, you'd really have to come work a night with me and experience it for yourself. They are weird as they fucking come. You cant have a decent fucking conversation with whoever your working with either, its not like UK where you can at least find one fucking human being to have a laugh with. Kiwis are subhuman. The moment I fucking turn up a dark cloud forms over the venue and dread sets in. Being English in NZ is a bad thing as well, they fucking have a chip on their shoulder about you being English especially when you're denying the mouthy drunk cunts entry and they go all gangster on you. I used to work at an Irish bar here and there was trouble every fucking night i worked there, i worked wed-sat and amongst the 5 of us bouncers there we chucked out about 12-15 people a night it was fucking shite. It aint even over when u throw the fuckers out, they start a tirade of abuse for hours on end and try getting back in. I have floored so many fucking kiwi cunts outside after they've gone for me and called me a 'pommy faggot'. Yeh the pommy faggot who's just giving you a hiding. I'd rather be directing big budget sc-fi movies and recording music in a studio every day than this depressing shit. So doing doorwork is an utter cunt, dont ever do it if you value your sanity.

[Decimus]

On 16/08/2014 at 16:16, CCArchive said:

The most thankless, depressing, so-not-worth-the fucking-hassle shit cunt of a job. Yet I still do this on the weekends to supplement my income when things are a bit slow with my day job. (And to get in free to see bands I'd normally pay for, meet and greet them and make the fans jealous) The pay isnt even really worth it, $20 an hour which is ten squid. I know there are wanker bouncers out there like punters but I'm actually a 'good cunt' and do it for the money and fucking hate every passing moment, dealing with drunk Kiwi fucking scum bags who take exception to me not letting them in while proclaiming to be sober yet doing the Michael Jackson lean move from the Moonwalker video, stuck up bitches who think they can act however they like because they are pissed and have a vagina and even having to deal with fuck head bouncers that I work with who are so up their own fucking arse and are fucking boring as fuck to work with. If it were up to me id fucking pull out an uzi and just end some of these cunts on the spot. In fact id like to take out the entire dancing floor. No one would miss these detritus fucking flotsam. Gotta work tonight as well. I can't stress enough how fucking backward kiwis are, you'd really have to come work a night with me and experience it for yourself. They are weird as they fucking come. You cant have a decent fucking conversation with whoever your working with either, its not like UK where you can at least find one fucking human being to have a laugh with. Kiwis are subhuman. The moment I fucking turn up a dark cloud forms over the venue and dread sets in. Being English in NZ is a bad thing as well, they fucking have a chip on their shoulder about you being English especially when you're denying the mouthy drunk cunts entry and they go all gangster on you. I used to work at an Irish bar here and there was trouble every fucking night i worked there, i worked wed-sat and amongst the 5 of us bouncers there we chucked out about 12-15 people a night it was fucking shite. It aint even over when u throw the fuckers out, they start a tirade of abuse for hours on end and try getting back in. I have floored so many fucking kiwi cunts outside after they've gone for me and called me a 'pommy faggot'. Yeh the pommy faggot who's just giving you a hiding. I'd rather be directing big budget sc-fi movies and recording music in a studio every day than this depressing shit. So doing doorwork is an utter cunt, dont ever do it if you value your sanity.

Saucepants?

 

[Eric Cuntman]

On 29/11/2021 at 22:07, Decimus said:

Saucepants?

 

If it was, it would have been a six paragraph rant, bemoaning the agony of burning your fingers on a Carmen roller, or waiting in all day for an engineer to fit a new O-ring to your fucking pressure washer.

[Ape™️]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If it was, it would have been a six paragraph rant, bemoaning the agony of burning your fingers on a Carmen roller, or waiting in all day for an engineer to fit a new O-ring to your fucking pressure washer.

Or water blaster, as I seem to remember the thick-as-pigshit fucking dickhead referring to pressure washers as.

[Eric Cuntman]

33 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Or water blaster, as I seem to remember the thick-as-pigshit fucking dickhead referring to pressure washers as.

Yes, a hastily cobbled together nugget of bullshit. After he had told us that he'd been 'Jet-Boating', he mentioned having his 'water blaster' serviced and returning it to 4500psi. He completely forgot that he'd invented the Jet boat story and admitted it was a £29.99 Karcher. What a fucking stupid fucking cunt.