Guest Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 I spied their horrible ivy creeping through me expensive fence panels, so I found where a knot in the wood had fallen out, stuck the nozzle of me bottle of weedkiller through the hole, and spirted me weed killer for a full 5 mins onto their scrubs & flowers. I might get me air rifle out to shoot the tyres on the flat slobs mobility scooter, while him & his Mrs have gone to Iceland to get more stinky shite to stick on their ‘barbie.’ Hell hath no fury like Prof Bar Lamb when I have been scorned. I mean war. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 I spied their horrible ivy creeping through me expensive fence panels, so I found where a knot in the wood had fallen out, stuck the nozzle of me bottle of weedkiller through the hole, and spirited me weed killer for a full 5 mins onto their scrubs & flowers. I might get me air rifle out to shoot the tyres on the flat slobs mobility scooter, while him & his Mrs have gone to Iceland to get more stinky shite to stick on their ‘barbie.’ Hell hath no fury like Prof Bar Lamb when I have been scorned. I mean war. Me local Waitrose had w-killer at half price today, so I have stocked up on ammunition - I am really for war. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 16, 2014 Report Share Posted September 16, 2014 Try a napalm flame thrower (napalm recipe on line) and agent orange in a karcher jetwash. Ivy fucked up my brickwork, it is an utter cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted September 17, 2014 Report Share Posted September 17, 2014 Wait until they are on holiday and cover everything in a layer of industrial salt - should do the trick. Forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted September 17, 2014 Report Share Posted September 17, 2014 This is no way to educate or to encourage a self-claimed spreader of 'Love & Peace' I question Lamb-Skins true character and deportment with this latest nom, and would ask that you now make an independent inquiry. We cannot have misleading scoundrels in our camp. They are bad for morale and could have a devastating effect on our troops. Indeed, you are right here Jazzster. Is our mint sauce covered friend getting nasty with this nom ? Can't have that, before you know it, it could get all nasty and cuntish on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted September 18, 2014 Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 Prof, I fail to see how you can seriously slag off your neighbours as cunts, and not include yourself amongst them. After all, you are monumental cunt yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 18, 2014 Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 I spied their horrible ivy creeping through me expensive fence panels, so I found where a knot in the wood had fallen out, stuck the nozzle of me bottle of weedkiller through the hole, and spirted me weed killer for a full 5 mins onto their scrubs & flowers. I might get me air rifle out to shoot the tyres on the flat slobs mobility scooter, while him & his Mrs have gone to Iceland to get more stinky shite to stick on their ‘barbie.’ Hell hath no fury like Prof Bar Lamb when I have been scorned. I mean war. Contact Westwood and get him and his crew around to pimp his mobility scooter when his out in the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 18, 2014 Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 Garden warfare is not all bad when you consider all other choices in the sheep's life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 18, 2014 Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 Snap! My neighbours a big cunt aswell. He keeps spying on me like a paedo peeping tom through the fence panels. Luckily i have some ivy that disrupts his view - dirty pervert..............actually they are quite expensive fence panels too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 My missus decided to purchase a pet without my consent. While that is probably a story best served for another thread, the important thing is that I had to dog-proof the garden. While hammering wire mesh into the bottom of the fences in my back garden, the decrepit cunt next door was sat outside next door with a friend.The saggy old bint said to her mate "I wonder if he's building a shed?"To which her friend had the audacity to reply "You should ask him to stop, you might have to look at it from your bedroom window!" Her son comes round regularly, so he will find them both dead sometime tomorrow I'd imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 Fascinating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 I actually realised as I finished typing that that it was one of the least funny stories to ever be posted on this forum, but I thought it made a change from listening to fatty put the word cunt at the end of every sentence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 My missus decided to purchase a pet without my consent. While that is probably a story best served for another thread, the important thing is that I had to dog-proof the garden. While hammering wire mesh into the bottom of the fences in my back garden, the decrepit cunt next door was sat outside next door with a friend.The saggy old bint said to her mate "I wonder if he's building a shed?"To which her friend had the audacity to reply "You should ask him to stop, you might have to look at it from your bedroom window!" Her son comes round regularly, so he will find them both dead sometime tomorrow I'd imagine. "I wonder if he's building a shed?""You should ask him to stop, you might have to look at it from your bedroom window!"They must be the most two pointless sentences ever uttered. Reminds me of 'The Drunken Bakers' in Viz! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 Although bill has made it clear he is not here to make friends, his pointless grandpa Simpson type posts are enjoyable in their absolute irrelevance, keep up the shit work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 "I wonder if he's building a shed?""You should ask him to stop, you might have to look at it from your bedroom window!"They must be the most two pointless sentences ever uttered. Reminds me of 'The Drunken Bakers' in Viz! ...and she likes Viz as well. Gyppo, will you marry me? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 ...and she likes Viz as well. Gyppo, will you marry me?You couldn't afford me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 2, 2015 Report Share Posted April 2, 2015 You couldn't afford me! Probably not. But I can dream... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 You couldn't afford me!What are we talking? A woman of such impeccable taste in low brow yet brilliant comic taste mustn't come cheap... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted April 3, 2015 Report Share Posted April 3, 2015 What are we talking? A woman of such impeccable taste in low brow yet brilliant comic taste mustn't come cheap... I'd find it, aussie. Whatever it cost, I'd find it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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