Reflections of an old cunt.

[Guest]

I went for a hoon down the street on my scooter yesterday to get my paper and saw a young family playing in the park. A mischievous shithead lad of about eight was throwing rocks at his sister and It reminded me of myself at his age. It made me think back to when I was a lad who could have been anything and I paused to reflect on life, the decisions I have made, the stupid things I have done, and the end result of my journey as I am faced with my own mortality. I will not go into my own personal journey, but the one thing I have learned is we spend so much time working hard in order to have nice things, a nice house, a flash car, but how much time do we spend actually living? We judge ourselves and are judged on our collections of nice trinkets and devote so much time into improving our social status that I think we may miss the point of what really matters. I thought back to the times I was really happy and it turns out it was simple things like fishing with kids, going on a picnic with Mrs Grumps back when she was putting out, and hunting with the lads.

I am sounding like a nostalgic old cunt which is totally out of context for me, but getting old and realising you only get one crack at it and cant go back is a massive cunt. Think about it cunts and what's important to you.

Righto, cue the insults and here is a pre-emptive suck my balls and get fucked.

[Mrs Roops]

Well, no insults. My husband (who is in his late fifties, (I'm in my early forties.....very early forties) thought the same thing when soon after the Rooplets were born and gave up being a corporate suit. He sorta misses the cut and thrust of big business but does not regret the decision one bit. For him family and dare I say it, wifey is his priority. I agree with your sentiments (so long as I have a posh car)

[Guest KuntaCunty]

The young lad throwing rocks at his sister brings back memories for me.  I never threw rocks at her, but the cunts on the playground sure took a few in the teeth.  I would get to date the girls because I threw rocks at the thick bastards that threw rocks at them. 

[Guest]

Well, no insults. My husband (who is in his late fifties, (I'm in my early forties.....very early forties) thought the same thing when soon after the Rooplets were born and gave up being a corporate suit. He sorta misses the cut and thrust of big business but does not regret the decision one bit. For him family and dare I say it, wifey is his priority. I agree with your sentiments (so long as I have a posh car)

 

He is a clever man Mrs Roops. Its a bloody hard balance to strike, excel at one and the other can suffer so it boils down to what's more important.  
 

[Guest]

The young lad throwing rocks at his sister brings back memories for me.  I never threw rocks at her, but the cunts on the playground sure took a few in the teeth.  I would get to date the girls because I threw rocks at the thick bastards that threw rocks at them. 

 

Knew which side your balls were buttered from an early age! well played old cock.

[Guest KuntaCunty]

Knew which side your balls were buttered from an early age! well played old cock.

 

Young Vanessa H. was developing nicely, and it hadn't escaped my attention.  It's never too soon to begin honing your pulling skills. 

[Guest deebom]

I went to see my dad a few weeks ago. Now i havnt seen this cunt since 1988, and I thought he might like to know that he has 3 grandchildren. So I open a Facebook account and do some hunting for a few days, find some people who are were likely candidates for cousins and messaged them. Couple of weeks later I get a messeage from my cousin Emma saying "bla bla bla, how do you do." I say "how do you do" and we get chatting. She informs me that yes she talks to my old man and she'll let him know I'm about. So, I get his number and give him a ring, we chat for a while and I arrange to drive to fucking Crewe (shithole.) I arrive in Crewe and make my way there. The door is opened by some Scouse cunt, looking like a fucking skelelton, he says "I'm so and so, I'm your dads carer (He's old and infirm, I know this as My cousin told me.) So I enter the abode and move to the front room which full of empty cans of Special Brew. Dad is sitting on the couch, I say "wotcha, how are ya?" He mumbles some shit in reply, I sit down and spend some time chatting to the scouse cunt because the old man seems incapable of saying very much due to having only 3 teeth and a can of brew permanently in front of his cakehole. So I'm chatting away to scouse cunt and the old man mumbles some shit to scouse cunt, scouse replies and then turns back to me.

"Do you mind giving us a lift down the road?" He says. "Yeah, no probs." I reply and off we go.

We pull up at some park and wait a few minutes, then some other northern monkey turns up and mumbles something unintelligable, scouse git counts out £200, hands it over to other northerner, he hands scouse cunt a small weed bag and off we go.

I'm thinking to myself "£200 is a lot of money to be spending on weed, maybe it's a celebration because the long lost son has come to visit or something?"

So we arrive back at the flat and scouse git hands the old man the bag. Now I'm curious to see what the fuck this is here. Old man opens the bag and tips the contents on the table. 10 £20 rocks of fucking crack the filthy fucking crack smoking loser. He then pulls out a home made crack pipe, crushes up a rock and proceeds to smoke the fucker.

This went on for the rest of the night and was boring as fuck. He livened up a little once the crack had taken hold and he preceeded to regale me with tales of drug related escapades from the 70s.

I fucked off at 7.30 the next morning and wont be going back.

That's what a life of being free does for you. He's never had a job and spent his entire life wandering around drinking and taking drugs. Now he's a 68 year old man with a £200 a night crack habit and housebound.

Frankly I'd rather have a job.

[Guest]

I went to see my dad a few weeks ago. Now i havnt seen this cunt since 1988, and I thought he might like to know that he has 3 grandchildren. So I open a Facebook account and do some hunting for a few days, find some people who are were likely candidates for cousins and messaged them. Couple of weeks later I get a messeage from my cousin Emma saying "bla bla bla, how do you do." I say "how do you do" and we get chatting. She informs me that yes she talks to my old man and she'll let him know I'm about. So, I get his number and give him a ring, we chat for a while and I arrange to drive to fucking Crewe (shithole.) I arrive in Crewe and make my way there. The door is opened by some Scouse cunt, looking like a fucking skelelton, he says "I'm so and so, I'm your dads carer (He's old and infirm, I know this as My cousin told me.) So I enter the abode and move to the front room which full of empty cans of Special Brew. Dad is sitting on the couch, I say "wotcha, how are ya?" He mumbles some shit in reply, I sit down and spend some time chatting to the scouse cunt because the old man seems incapable of saying very much due to having only 3 teeth and a can of brew permanently in front of his cakehole. So I'm chatting away to scouse cunt and the old man mumbles some shit to scouse cunt, scouse replies and then turns back to me.

"Do you mind giving us a lift down the road?" He says. "Yeah, no probs." I reply and off we go.

We pull up at some park and wait a few minutes, then some other northern monkey turns up and mumbles something unintelligable, scouse git counts out £200, hands it over to other northerner, he hands scouse cunt a small weed bag and off we go.

I'm thinking to myself "£200 is a lot of money to be spending on weed, maybe it's a celebration because the long lost son has come to visit or something?"

So we arrive back at the flat and scouse git hands the old man the bag. Now I'm curious to see what the fuck this is here. Old man opens the bag and tips the contents on the table. 10 £20 rocks of fucking crack the filthy fucking crack smoking loser. He then pulls out a home made crack pipe, crushes up a rock and proceeds to smoke the fucker.

This went on for the rest of the night and was boring as fuck. He livened up a little once the crack had taken hold and he preceeded to regale me with tales of drug related escapades from the 70s.

I fucked off at 7.30 the next morning and wont be going back.

That's what a life of being free does for you. He's never had a job and spent his entire life wandering around drinking and taking drugs. Now he's a 68 year old man with a £200 a night crack habit and housebound.

Frankly I'd rather have a job.

 

Holy fuck.........I'm not quite sure what to say Dee. That's pretty fucked up old boy and would be a bitter pill to swallow.

That's not quite the lifestyle I was advocating. I was recommending more of a balance. I feel a bit of a cunt right about now.
 

[Guest KuntaCunty]

I went to see my dad a few weeks ago. Now i havnt seen this cunt since 1988, and I thought he might like to know that he has 3 grandchildren. So I open a Facebook account and do some hunting for a few days, find some people who are were likely candidates for cousins and messaged them. Couple of weeks later I get a messeage from my cousin Emma saying "bla bla bla, how do you do." I say "how do you do" and we get chatting. She informs me that yes she talks to my old man and she'll let him know I'm about. So, I get his number and give him a ring, we chat for a while and I arrange to drive to fucking Crewe (shithole.) I arrive in Crewe and make my way there. The door is opened by some Scouse cunt, looking like a fucking skelelton, he says "I'm so and so, I'm your dads carer (He's old and infirm, I know this as My cousin told me.) So I enter the abode and move to the front room which full of empty cans of Special Brew. Dad is sitting on the couch, I say "wotcha, how are ya?" He mumbles some shit in reply, I sit down and spend some time chatting to the scouse cunt because the old man seems incapable of saying very much due to having only 3 teeth and a can of brew permanently in front of his cakehole. So I'm chatting away to scouse cunt and the old man mumbles some shit to scouse cunt, scouse replies and then turns back to me.

"Do you mind giving us a lift down the road?" He says. "Yeah, no probs." I reply and off we go.

We pull up at some park and wait a few minutes, then some other northern monkey turns up and mumbles something unintelligable, scouse git counts out £200, hands it over to other northerner, he hands scouse cunt a small weed bag and off we go.

I'm thinking to myself "£200 is a lot of money to be spending on weed, maybe it's a celebration because the long lost son has come to visit or something?"

So we arrive back at the flat and scouse git hands the old man the bag. Now I'm curious to see what the fuck this is here. Old man opens the bag and tips the contents on the table. 10 £20 rocks of fucking crack the filthy fucking crack smoking loser. He then pulls out a home made crack pipe, crushes up a rock and proceeds to smoke the fucker.

This went on for the rest of the night and was boring as fuck. He livened up a little once the crack had taken hold and he preceeded to regale me with tales of drug related escapades from the 70s.

I fucked off at 7.30 the next morning and wont be going back.

That's what a life of being free does for you. He's never had a job and spent his entire life wandering around drinking and taking drugs. Now he's a 68 year old man with a £200 a night crack habit and housebound.

Frankly I'd rather have a job.

 

The words escape me, mate.  About all I have is that you should probably feel good that you made the trip.  Whatever caused the long period of no contact, you were big enough to put it aside, and try to mend things.  I feel rather sick, though.  Your "cousin" seems to have known the reason for your dad's ill health, and said fuck all about it.  That, to me, is top shelf cuntistry.

[Guest]

The words escape me, mate.  About all I have is that you should probably feel good that you made the trip.  Whatever caused the long period of no contact, you were big enough to put it aside, and try to mend things.  I feel rather sick, though.  Your "cousin" seems to have known the reason for your dad's ill health, and said fuck all about it.  That, to me, is top shelf cuntistry.

 

Agreed.
 

[Mrs Roops]

It could be that cousin Emma follows the same lifestyle as your Dad. Best keep his grand-children away though and keep the relationship as arms length - just Christmas and Birthday cards to keep the lines of communication open.

[Guest deebom]

I'm not looking for sympathy here folks, I just thought it was a midly amusing tale and I'm fully expecting some cunty comments you cunts.. I've been around a bit and am not particularly offended or upset by drug taking. I was expecting him to be a drinker as he was when I last saw him, maybe a few joints.

I spoke to me cousin, (She's fine, normal, married with kids ect.) and it turns out that she knew he had once had a crack habit, but understood that he had got rid of it. She told me that after I saw him him in 88 he moved on to Camden and spent the next twenty years living in squats and bumming around. I assume that's where the crack smoking came from, Camden Town being a crack infested shithole.

My old man really is the black sheep of the family. Various uncles and aunts have contacted me since saying hello and having a bitch about the old man. Seems they all gave up on this cunt years ago and only Emma took pity on him after he broke his hip in a boozer somewhere and had to move into sheltered housing.

I haven't mentioned the crack smoking to any other of the family members as I dont really want to get involved with the whole northern extended family shit.

I also have an estranged step father who is a completely fucking nuts Glaswegian heroin addict.

My mum could really fucking pick em...

[cuntspotter]

You can choose your friends , not your family. Close the door , walk away, don't look back. You owe nobody anything here. No ties, no loyalties, no emotional debts. Your affiliations are to your partner and children..... Keep walking.

[Guest KuntaCunty]

I'm not looking for sympathy here folks, I just thought it was a midly amusing tale and I'm fully expecting some cunty comments you cunts.. I've been around a bit and am not particularly offended or upset by drug taking. I was expecting him to be a drinker as he was when I last saw him, maybe a few joints.

I spoke to me cousin, (She's fine, normal, married with kids ect.) and it turns out that she knew he had once had a crack habit, but understood that he had got rid of it. She told me that after I saw him him in 88 he moved on to Camden and spent the next twenty years living in squats and bumming around. I assume that's where the crack smoking came from, Camden Town being a crack infested shithole.

My old man really is the black sheep of the family. Various uncles and aunts have contacted me since saying hello and having a bitch about the old man. Seems they all gave up on this cunt years ago and only Emma took pity on him after he broke his hip in a boozer somewhere and had to move into sheltered housing.

I haven't mentioned the crack smoking to any other of the family members as I dont really want to get involved with the whole northern extended family shit.

I also have an estranged step father who is a completely fucking nuts Glaswegian heroin addict.

My mum could really fucking pick em...

 

I see that the irony of cunts using kindness to soften the blow about cunty relatives has been lost on one of our cunts.  Tragic.

[Rev]

We've got a case of wine getting delivered to Coitus Heights today. You know you're turning into an old cunt when the booze comes by courier. Deedum, fuck 'em..no sense in pondering over it, people choose their own paths. If it conflicts with the way you would have it, you don't need it. Drop him. However, most of us Glaswegians have a certain exuberance that isn't everyone's cup of pish. It's the Buckfast in our blood.

[cuntspotter]

We've got a case of wine getting delivered to Coitus Heights today. You know you're turning into an old cunt when the booze comes by courier. Deedum, fuck 'em..no sense in pondering over it, people choose their own paths. If it conflicts with the way you would have it, you don't need it. Drop him. However, most of us Glaswegians have a certain exuberance that isn't everyone's cup of pish. It's the Buckfast in our blood.

Mine's a large one!

[Cuntybaws]

Ah, The Road Not Taken.

I had a wank in a crematorium once. Take that, Death!

[Jiggerycock]

Ah, The Road Not Taken.

I had a wank in a crematorium once. Take that, Death!

I once drank Coke out of a Pepsi glass

Thug Life, bitches!

[Jiggerycock]

Anyway you bunch of maudlin cunts, 'do not go gently into that good night - fuck it up the arse with a party hat on'

There's still good music out there. There's always going to be a 33/1 winner to be backed and whilst all this 'live each day as if it was your last' platitudes leaves me cold, just lively yourself up a bit and get living.

[Guest]

My sister is fuckin useless

[cuntspotter]

My brother is a bit of a cunt, and my brother in law, and I suppose my sister is really, not forgetting my uncle Hector..... I wish I hadn't fuckin started this now.

[Guest]

I do not expect you cunts will believe me but my brother is a minister. We do not get along.

[Rev]

Anyway you bunch of maudlin cunts, 'do not go gently into that good night - fuck it up the arse with a party hat on'There's still good music out there. There's always going to be a 33/1 winner to be backed and whilst all this 'live each day as if it was your last' platitudes leaves me cold, just lively yourself up a bit and get living.

Exactly, jiggs. Life's too fucking short for cunts to display gushing sentimentality, when we have on offer such wonders as hammer-drills, diesel space heaters, fire-arms and bondage-wear.

[Guest nobgobbler]

My sister is fuckin useless

My sister is fuckin useless. And a cunt.

[Guest nobgobbler]

Just remember the good times grumps and concentrate on enjoying the time you've got left. Semi-retirement is the dogs bollocks. I do what I like, when I like, I keep an eye on the books only to make sure my kids inheritance is being looked after and I do the occasional gig just for a laugh though not in the old suzi quatro leathers, I'd have to be sewn in. I don't think I'll live long enough to claim retirement pension so I'm enjoying myself now. Any way, old age is a cunt, and the old folks home can cunt off.