Guest JackoTC Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Alas, I have drifted into the arena of the unwell. Been shitting myself and shaking all day. Hot then shivering with cold. I have avoided any sort of illness since I had a bout of food poisoning in 1993. Not even had a cold. I feel a right cunt now. My air of invincibility has been reduced to nothing, as has been my supply of arse paper. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Cold turkey? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Alas, I have drifted into the arena of the unwell. Been shitting myself and shaking all day. Hot then shivering with cold. I have avoided any sort of illness since I had a bout of food poisoning in 1993. Not even had a cold. I feel a right cunt now. My air of invincibility has been reduced to nothing, as has been my supply of arse paper. . You didn't eat the sweet and sour potato soup at the Christmas buffet at the shelter did you, Jacko? They've had a surplus of that shite since WW2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Now you know what 12 pints of home brew, 6 mince pies, 2 lbs of Thorntons chocolates, half an Aldi 3 bird roast, a bucket of sprouts and a bottle of shit cheap plonk you bought for your neighbour but you haven't seen him so you supped it, smells like. I hate bumsquirt, its a right cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Alas, I have drifted into the arena of the unwell. Been shitting myself and shaking all day. Hot then shivering with cold. I have avoided any sort of illness since I had a bout of food poisoning in 1993. Not even had a cold. I feel a right cunt now. My air of invincibility has been reduced to nothing, as has been my supply of arse paper. . Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Stop wallowing Jacko, you fucking lightweight. Just stick a butt plug up your arse and carry on. Eat, drink and be merry. When you feel the pressure is about to blow, stand in the bath, uncork and leave for the missus to clean up later. That's what I do. Sage like advice from Drew, I could only add that if you find yourself in a group setting, drop your trousers, aim the cork at the nearest soppy cunt, and fire at will. Maybe the cork will chin the bastard and knock him or her, out fucking cold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Alas, I have drifted into the arena of the unwell. Been shitting myself and shaking all day. Hot then shivering with cold. I have avoided any sort of illness since I had a bout of food poisoning in 1993. Not even had a cold. I feel a right cunt now. My air of invincibility has been reduced to nothing, as has been my supply of arse paper. . Jacko, I've just googled your symptoms. You have cancer and are about to die. Go in peace, my son. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Just read some of Punkape's posts, it should make you retch and bring it all out of your system. Harsh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Sage like advice from Drew, I could only add that if you find yourself in a group setting, drop your trousers, aim the cork at the nearest soppy cunt, and fire at will. Maybe the cork will chin the bastard and knock him or her, out fucking cold.Poor Will! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Wipe your arse on sheep. Shit always sticks to fur. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Wipe your arse on sheep. Shit always sticks to fur. Don't be so bloody rude - Jacko needs TLC. Sheep have wool not fur. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Alas, I have drifted into the arena of the unwell. Been shitting myself and shaking all day. Hot then shivering with cold. I have avoided any sort of illness since I had a bout of food poisoning in 1993. Not even had a cold. I feel a right cunt now. My air of invincibility has been reduced to nothing, as has been my supply of arse paper. . I hope after a good night's sleep you feel better? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Being ill is for faggots. Man up and stop fucking whinging you Julian Clary lookalike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Being ill is for faggots. Man up and stop fucking whinging you Julian Clary lookalike. I wish you had the shits & was hot & cold, not poor JackoTC! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Don't be so bloody rude - Jacko needs TLC. Sheep have wool not fur.Shit sticks to wool too. Go on, make yourself useful, you know you want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Please up date us JackTC - how are you today? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 I'm praying for a miracle.... Hope that helps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 I'm praying for a miracle.... Hope that helps No amount of divine intervention will change Frank's penchant for homosexual deviancy. Sorry to disappoint, Spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Yet again my ever so useful advice gets blanked. Unlike a regular user - such as yourself - nobody else knows what Picolax is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 it is a laxative so strong that it could probably pass as kryptonite. Invite some friends over and ensure you have a sachet of picolax for each friend, drink said picolax. First one to shit themselves loses and has to lick the boxers of the winner (abit like soggy biscuit but with shit instead of spunk) you will be the talk of the town and your parties as notorious as the ones held in the great gatsby I don't wear boxers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 then the loser will have to lick your legs and arsehole I have no arsehole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Unlike a regular user - such as yourself - nobody else knows what Picolax is. Did a post on picolax months ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 it is a laxative so strong that it could probably pass as kryptonite. Invite some friends over and ensure you have a sachet of picolax for each friend, drink said picolax. First one to shit themselves loses and has to lick the boxers of the winner (abit like soggy biscuit but with shit instead of spunk) you will be the talk of the town and your parties as notorious as the ones held in the great gatsby Thats why jammy dodgers taste so shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 perhaps you just need to look in the mirror and smile? I do so from time to time to bring myself back down to earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 Noo JackoTC still? I hope he's taking things easy & sleeping it off. GET WELL SOON JACKOTC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.