Illness

[Guest JackoTC]

Alas, I have drifted into the arena of the unwell. Been shitting myself and shaking all day. Hot then shivering with cold. I have avoided any sort of illness since I had a bout of food poisoning in 1993. Not even had a cold. I feel a right cunt now. My air of invincibility has been reduced to nothing, as has been my supply of arse paper. .  

[Guest ducunti]

Cold turkey?

[Guest KuntaCunty]

Alas, I have drifted into the arena of the unwell. Been shitting myself and shaking all day. Hot then shivering with cold. I have avoided any sort of illness since I had a bout of food poisoning in 1993. Not even had a cold. I feel a right cunt now. My air of invincibility has been reduced to nothing, as has been my supply of arse paper. .  

 

You didn't eat the sweet and sour potato soup at the Christmas buffet at the shelter did you, Jacko?  They've had a surplus of that shite since WW2.

[Guest nobgobbler]

Now you know what 12 pints of home brew, 6 mince pies, 2 lbs of Thorntons chocolates, half an Aldi 3 bird roast, a bucket of sprouts and a bottle of shit cheap plonk you bought for your neighbour but you haven't seen him so you supped it, smells like. I hate bumsquirt, its a right cunt.

[Guest]

Alas, I have drifted into the arena of the unwell. Been shitting myself and shaking all day. Hot then shivering with cold. I have avoided any sort of illness since I had a bout of food poisoning in 1993. Not even had a cold. I feel a right cunt now. My air of invincibility has been reduced to nothing, as has been my supply of arse paper. .

Fuck off.

[Guest KuntaCunty]

 

 

Stop wallowing Jacko, you fucking lightweight. Just stick a butt plug up your arse and carry on. Eat, drink and be merry. When you feel the pressure is about to blow, stand in the bath, uncork and leave for the missus to clean up later. That's what I do.

 

Sage like advice from Drew, I could only add that if you find yourself in a group setting, drop your trousers, aim the cork at the nearest soppy cunt, and fire at will.  Maybe the cork will chin the bastard and knock him or her, out fucking cold.

[scotty]

Alas, I have drifted into the arena of the unwell. Been shitting myself and shaking all day. Hot then shivering with cold. I have avoided any sort of illness since I had a bout of food poisoning in 1993. Not even had a cold. I feel a right cunt now. My air of invincibility has been reduced to nothing, as has been my supply of arse paper. .

Jacko, I've just googled your symptoms. You have cancer and are about to die.

Go in peace, my son. :(

[Guest KuntaCunty]

Just read some of Punkape's posts, it should make you retch and bring it all out of your system.

 

Harsh.

[Guest nobgobbler]

Sage like advice from Drew, I could only add that if you find yourself in a group setting, drop your trousers, aim the cork at the nearest soppy cunt, and fire at will.  Maybe the cork will chin the bastard and knock him or her, out fucking cold.

Poor Will!

[Guest nobgobbler]

Wipe your arse on sheep. Shit always sticks to fur.

[Guest]

Wipe your arse on sheep. Shit always sticks to fur.

Don't be so bloody rude - Jacko needs TLC.

 

Sheep have wool not fur.

[Guest]

Alas, I have drifted into the arena of the unwell. Been shitting myself and shaking all day. Hot then shivering with cold. I have avoided any sort of illness since I had a bout of food poisoning in 1993. Not even had a cold. I feel a right cunt now. My air of invincibility has been reduced to nothing, as has been my supply of arse paper. .  

I hope after a good night's sleep you feel better?

[Guest deebom]

Being ill is for faggots. Man up and stop fucking whinging you Julian Clary lookalike.

[Guest]

Being ill is for faggots. Man up and stop fucking whinging you Julian Clary lookalike.

I wish you had the shits & was hot & cold, not poor JackoTC!

[Guest nobgobbler]

Don't be so bloody rude - Jacko needs TLC.
 
Sheep have wool not fur.

Shit sticks to wool too. Go on, make yourself useful, you know you want to.

[Guest]

Please up date us JackTC - how are you today?

[cuntspotter]

I'm praying for a miracle.... Hope that helps

[Decimus]

I'm praying for a miracle.... Hope that helps

No amount of divine intervention will change Frank's penchant for homosexual deviancy. Sorry to disappoint, Spot.

[Guest]

Yet again my ever so useful advice gets blanked.

Unlike a regular user - such as yourself - nobody else knows what Picolax is.

[Guest]

it is a laxative so strong that it could probably pass as kryptonite. Invite some friends over and ensure you have a sachet of picolax for each friend, drink said picolax. First one to shit themselves loses and has to lick the boxers of the winner (abit like soggy biscuit but with shit instead of spunk) you will be the talk of the town and your parties as notorious as the ones held in the great gatsby

I don't wear boxers.

[Guest]

then the loser will have to lick your legs and arsehole

I have no arsehole.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

Unlike a regular user - such as yourself - nobody else knows what Picolax is.

Did a post on picolax months ago.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

it is a laxative so strong that it could probably pass as kryptonite. Invite some friends over and ensure you have a sachet of picolax for each friend, drink said picolax. First one to shit themselves loses and has to lick the boxers of the winner (abit like soggy biscuit but with shit instead of spunk) you will be the talk of the town and your parties as notorious as the ones held in the great gatsby

Thats why jammy dodgers taste so shit.

[Guest]

perhaps you just need to look in the mirror and smile?

I do so from time to time to bring myself back down to earth.

[Guest]

Noo JackoTC still? I hope he's taking things easy & sleeping it off.

 

GET WELL SOON JACKOTC