Guest Keith Lard Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Recently I been to see Fifty Shades of Grey at the cinema as many ladies will be there. My mates told me I would benefit fuck all from seeing this movie, but I had a plan. After I purchased my ticket and my big tub of popcorn, I entered the auditorium and searched the best looking chick to sit next to. Then I found this cute girl, I walked up to her and asked if I could sit next to her. She allowed me and took that seat. I was engaging in a conversation with about the themes of that film, such as BDSM, feminism, and capitalism. We shared a laugh, some interests, and I felt like this girl would be the one for me. She then told me she have to go to take her phone call, so whilst she was out the auditorium, I took out my pocket-knife, carved a hole underneath my tub of popcorn, and placed my dick in there. The movie then started and asked if she would like to have of my popcorn. She took a few handfuls of my popcorn, getting closer to my tip. As she was about to reach the bait, her boyfriend turned up, sat next to her and put my hand in my popcorn. He then grabbed my dick and pulled my out from underneath the popcorn. The girl screamed and her boyfriend began to beat the shit out of me. The ushers then turned up and thrown me out the cinema. I was then told I was banned from every Odeon cinema in the country. Dates at the movies aren’t as good as it used to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Aha!! A fellow Viz reader. Straight from the hallowed pages, Raffles the gentleman thug. Good work keith. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Mondo bizarro! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 You are a cunt brony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Wouldn't of been so bad if it was at least a medium size tub of popcorn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Scotty you nailed it. I read it even out here in the fucking sticks. Brony, you need to plagiarise better, you dopey myocardial infarction waiting to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Scotty you nailed it. I read it even out here in the fucking sticks. Brony, you need to plagiarise better, you dopey myocardial infarction waiting to happen. Good man, glad to hear it reaches the antipodes. To be fair to our obese friend here, the gag was sufficiently amusing to make it worth plagiarising. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Here's an idea, Keith. Why don't you shove a whole packet of popping corn right up your hairy jacksie and go and play on a trampoline for an hour? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Recently I been to see Fifty Shades of Grey at the cinema as many ladies will be there. My mates told me I would benefit fuck all from seeing this movie, but I had a plan. After I purchased my ticket and my big tub of popcorn, I entered the auditorium and searched the best looking chick to sit next to. Then I found this cute girl, I walked up to her and asked if I could sit next to her. She allowed me and took that seat. I was engaging in a conversation with about the themes of that film, such as BDSM, feminism, and capitalism. We shared a laugh, some interests, and I felt like this girl would be the one for me. She then told me she have to go to take her phone call, so whilst she was out the auditorium, I took out my pocket-knife, carved a hole underneath my tub of popcorn, and placed my dick in there. The movie then started and asked if she would like to have of my popcorn. She took a few handfuls of my popcorn, getting closer to my tip. As she was about to reach the bait, her boyfriend turned up, sat next to her and put my hand in my popcorn. He then grabbed my dick and pulled my out from underneath the popcorn. The girl screamed and her boyfriend began to beat the shit out of me. The ushers then turned up and thrown me out the cinema. I was then told I was banned from every Odeon cinema in the country. Dates at the movies aren’t as good as it used to be.Classic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Better Keef, but fuck off anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Is this cunt still not banned? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 Fuck off you obese pervert. I've been cutting back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 I would have thought that getting beaten up at the Fifty Shades of Gray screening would be the reason for going if you're that way inclined. I bet loads of kinky cunts are queuing up for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 I would have thought that getting beaten up at the Fifty Shades of Gray screening would be the reason for going if you're that way inclined. I bet loads of kinky cunts are queuing up for it. That is an excellent point, and one which hadn't occurred to me. A market opportunity, perhaps? Up and down the queue flogging whips and handcuffs, twenty quid a crack? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MisterCunt Posted February 21, 2015 Report Share Posted February 21, 2015 Recently I been to see Fifty Shades of Grey at the cinema as many ladies will be there. My mates told me I would benefit fuck all from seeing this movie, but I had a plan. After I purchased my ticket and my big tub of popcorn, I entered the auditorium and searched the best looking chick to sit next to. Then I found this cute girl, I walked up to her and asked if I could sit next to her. She allowed me and took that seat. I was engaging in a conversation with about the themes of that film, such as BDSM, feminism, and capitalism. We shared a laugh, some interests, and I felt like this girl would be the one for me. She then told me she have to go to take her phone call, so whilst she was out the auditorium, I took out my pocket-knife, carved a hole underneath my tub of popcorn, and placed my dick in there. The movie then started and asked if she would like to have of my popcorn. She took a few handfuls of my popcorn, getting closer to my tip. As she was about to reach the bait, her boyfriend turned up, sat next to her and put my hand in my popcorn. He then grabbed my dick and pulled my out from underneath the popcorn. The girl screamed and her boyfriend began to beat the shit out of me. The ushers then turned up and thrown me out the cinema. I was then told I was banned from every Odeon cinema in the country. Dates at the movies aren’t as good as it used to be. You really are a thicko, Keith. Don't you realize that the phone call she took was to summon a rough lad to beat the shit out of you? You do need to do something about that affliction of yours that makes you do such atrocious things. Blokes such as yourself should begin your endeavours in perversion by sitting behind such a lovely lass, and let your load fly into her hair. Then you can conceal yourself, and make a timely, yet calm exit, without a scratch on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted February 22, 2015 Report Share Posted February 22, 2015 Is this cunt still not banned? Unfortunately not. Kunta upsets some cunt,who then runs off crying to the teacher and gets he gets banned for it. This twat keeps on posting "niche porn" and doesn't even get 24 hours in the cooler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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