Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 15, 2015 Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 I've been genuinely convinced that this is the alter-ego of some sad, lonely fuckwit for a while, but now it has simply become ultimate truth.Die in a fire.It is all true .. Ape lives on the Colshaw Farm council estate .. buses refuse to go into the estate after 7 PM so he only goes out in daylight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 15, 2015 Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Punk's worst day came when they dragged Romany of the BBC's old vardo off to that museum as he'd had been living in it since he was 6 months old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted June 15, 2015 Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Perhaps it was wrong of me to have that wank at the summit of Mount Kinabalu, but who knew that the mountain gods would be that vengeful?It must have been one hell of a wank to set off an earthquake, baws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted June 15, 2015 Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 In theory, you'd think this would take all the bullshit out of shopping. But when said cunt arrives with your bags, you have to take them from the front door to your kitchen in a crate, unload the bags, return the crate to the cunt, then he asks if you want the bags recycling, or if you have any old ones, blah, blah. I'd actually rather put up with the monotonous conversation at the checkout, than have some stupid fucking bellend who can hardly speak languages good like I can, chat awkward bollocks whilst i run from the door to the kitchen.Plus you always get some dodgy as fuck swaps. One time my missus ordered a Glade plugin, and instead of changing the fragrance, they gave us a can of febreze. True story.I ordered fruit de la mer and got a fruit pie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted June 15, 2015 Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 It must have been one hell of a wank to set off an earthquake, baws.I've managed a few tsunamis, but never an earthquake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 15, 2015 Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 In theory, you'd think this would take all the bullshit out of shopping. But when said cunt arrives with your bags, you have to take them from the front door to your kitchen in a crate, unload the bags, return the crate to the cunt, then he asks if you want the bags recycling, or if you have any old ones, blah, blah. I'd actually rather put up with the monotonous conversation at the checkout, than have some stupid fucking bellend who can hardly speak languages good like I can, chat awkward bollocks whilst i run from the door to the kitchen.Plus you always get some dodgy as fuck swaps. One time my missus ordered a Glade plugin, and instead of changing the fragrance, they gave us a can of febreze. True story.I once had a bag of milk gums as a substitute for 2 bottles of skimmed milk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted June 17, 2015 Report Share Posted June 17, 2015 Again, just in case I haven't made it clear enough before, all shop workers are subhuman cunts. Especially the pockmarked, ginger, myopic, scrofulous, rancid piece of fucking shit who works in the petrol station at the Brundall turn off on the A47. Do I look like the kinda cunt who would buy a ginsters pasty and peperami with a counterfeit note? No? Well stop fucking squinting at it with your ugly mug, wearing a stupid, bemused fucking look, expertly modelled on a badgers cumface. Cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted June 17, 2015 Report Share Posted June 17, 2015 Again, just in case I haven't made it clear enough before, all shop workers are subhuman cunts. Especially the pockmarked, ginger, myopic, scrofulous, rancid piece of fucking shit who works in the petrol station at the Brundall turn off on the A47. Do I look like the kinda cunt who would buy a ginsters pasty and peperami with a counterfeit note? No? Well stop fucking squinting at it with your ugly mug, wearing a stupid, bemused fucking look, expertly modelled on a badgers cumface. Cunt.I can only imagine the state of your breath and guts... skin tone etc. Horrible little man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted June 18, 2015 Report Share Posted June 18, 2015 I can only imagine the state of yourbreath and guts... skin tone etc. Horrible little man. I truly do suffer, Frank. Guts especially. Don't get too excited though, I'm still not going to shit on your glass table whilst your underneath it, so stop PM'ing me and asking . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted June 18, 2015 Report Share Posted June 18, 2015 I truly do suffer, Frank. Guts especially. Don't get too excited though, I'm still not going to shit on your glass table whilst your underneath it, so stop PM'ing me and asking .i will Frank, minus the glass table Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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