Cunts who think eating spicy food is a direct indicator of manhood

[Guest Bill Stickers]

"Smashed back a whole fakin' Vindaloo on Thursday mate, and a fakin' Phall the night before that, fakin' tasty both of them, heat don't bother me one bit"... ad-fucking-nauseam.

I'm not saying I don't like spicy food. I'm a Madras man myself. I'm also not defending cunts who order butter chicken or korma, they can fuck off too. 

However, I've never understood why so many people have to turn what should be a pleasant meal into a display of male dick wagging.

These types can also be found arguing with their mates over who has driven the fastest round the M25, who has spent the most on a night out in London they didn't even enjoy, who was the most mates with criminal records, and who has the biggest pair of bollocks (nothing turns birds on like big bollocks you know).

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

" heat don't bother me one bit"... 

 

I've noticed they like to make that claim as their face begins to turn several shades of deep red, beads of sweat are forming on their forehead, and the skin begins to melt off their face like a nazi in an Indiana Jones film.

[Jiggerycock]

Same with punters

Think they're a big swinging dick because they back the favourite in every race and get to shout 'GWAAAAN MY SAAAAHN' every so often before collecting their pissant £5.50 from a thoroughly unimpressed bookie.

These people are worse than communists.

Edited July 9, 2015 by Jiggerycock

[cuntspotter]

Garlic chilli chicken ... BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS!

[Guest MikeD]

Aren't there some places where the dish is so hot if you eat it you get it for free?

So you save a few quid but you suffer like fuck for a few minutes. I'm sure there's a point to that but I'm fucked if I can see it.

[cuntspotter]

Eating chicken Phaal gives me the 'orn. Does that count?

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Aren't there some places where the dish is so hot if you eat it you get it for free?

So you save a few quid but you suffer like fuck for a few minutes. I'm sure there's a point to that but I'm fucked if I can see it.

Only an amateur thinks they suffer for a few minutes.

Everyone forgets how their ring-piece ends up like a dragon's nostril 12 hours later.

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

What a silly nomination.

You must patronise the most ghastly downmarket Asian "restaurants" if you witness such nonsense.

you condescending twat, don't patronise me

[Guest Bill Stickers]

you condescending twat, don't patronise me

Why did you bite, you silly cunt?

You're not cut out for this site, you sensitive little petal. Fuck off and take your feelings with you.

[cuntspotter]

You sound like you're horribly working class also.

You probably use ghee to butter up your trans-gender bum chum.

lol.

I know I do!

[Guest Ahriman]

Vindaloo is well spicy, if you're a fucking fanny! Try snorting 5 grams of powdered Carolina Reaper whilst tea bagging molten lava, then we'll talk about heat!

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

You sound like you're horribly working class also.

You probably use ghee to butter up your trans-gender bum chum.

lol.

Oh, I see. You have the money (allegedly) without the intelligence to see the entendre in my statement. Do not pass Go, Do not collect a punch in the face.

[Ape™️]

A punch in the face ? You're being very working class and yobbish again.

Try a creative writing course first then get some elecution lessons...... I can't hear you speak but I can imagine the mangled prose and pug-like snuffling.

Oik.

It's elocution Punky, elocution. Lol you thick cunt!

[cuntspotter]

A punch in the face ? You're being very working class and yobbish again.

Try a creative writing course first then get some elecution lessons...... I can't hear you speak but I can imagine the mangled prose and pug-like snuffling.

Oik.

Actually, 13 out of the last 16 comments from you have been jibes or insults aimed at punters. That isn't what this is all about. You're in the cooler for a couple of days.

[Guest Gong Farmer]

I see his point in this nom. Having to sit in front of some cunt trying to impress everyone with his pain threshold when eating something ridiculously hot that the chef out back has probably gobbed in for good measure isn't impressive, it's stupid, and he looks like a fucking idiot with his sweaty brow and dribbling chin ordering more fucking pints of pissy lager in some vain and futile attempt at quenching the agony he's inflicting on himself. "Enjoy that did you?" "Yeah, I bet you fucking did you twat!" 

[cuntspotter]

I see his point in this nom. Having to sit in front of some cunt trying to impress everyone with his pain threshold when eating something ridiculously hot that the chef out back has probably gobbed in for good measure isn't impressive, it's stupid, and he looks like a fucking idiot with his sweaty brow and dribbling chin ordering more fucking pints of pissy lager in some vain and futile attempt at quenching the agony he's inflicting on himself. "Enjoy that did you?" "Yeah, I bet you fucking did you twat!" 

Garlic chilli chicken....... Fuckin ' A.

[Guest MikeD]

That stupid cunt Adam Richman would probably delight in this kind of shit.

Him and a restaurant full of cunts giving it 'aaaalllrrriiiggghhhhttttt' while the fat obnoxious bastard edges himself nearer to the inevitable heart attack he's heading for.

[cuntspotter]

That stupid cunt Adam Richman would probably delight in this kind of shit.

Him and a restaurant full of cunts giving it 'aaaalllrrriiiggghhhhttttt' while the fat obnoxious bastard edges himself nearer to the inevitable heart attack he's heading for.

lamb Phaal....... A real ring of fire job. My supper tonight , actually.

[Guest Gong Farmer]

Garlic chilli chicken....... Fuckin ' A.

I go as far as a chicken korma and that's it, and even that is pushing it.

[Frank]

Actually, 13 out of the last 16 comments from you have been jibes or insults aimed at punters. That isn't what this is all about. You're in the cooler for a couple of days.

A good job jobbed.

 

[cuntspotter]

A good job jobbed.

 

Frank.... You're alive?

[Guest MikeD]

Frank.... You're alive?

Oh good.

That may be the most sarcastic thing I've ever said.

[cuntspotter]

Oh good.

That may be the most sarcastic thing I've ever said.

Mike, you need to care a little more.

[Guest MikeD]

Mike, you need to care a little more.

Nah, I'm alright thanks.

[Frank]

The city curry cunt connoisseur is the real offender. The sap who will prattle on and on over the most fabulous first floor stink hole establishments on Brick Lane.. cooking the most wonderful authentic curries in clay ovens. 

Frank.... You're alive?

Bill was right... no bottle. Thank you to all those, especially you spot, who PM'd me with their concerns. I'll be absolutely fine. What really brought me back to my senses.. made it unbearable to watch, was page after fucking page of utter drivel and trite from MikeFuckingD.